Monday Musings

• American Family Insurance has a new billboard that reads “Family Doesn’t Let You Down.” Is that some kind of joke? Because in my world family might be there most of the time but there is always that one time that it really counted and you never forget that they let you down. I mean, take the Spelling Family. I’m pretty sure Aaron feels a little let down that is spoiled brat children suck hard core and his wife is a complete witch. Even from up above. And the Lohan’s. I mean they all have screws loose and I’m pretty sure we can safely say Dina and Michael “let their kids down” in the grand scheme of things. So, stupid slogan.
• Process: before scanning work to employees, bold the assignments on the spreadsheet so they know the assignment has arrived and will be coming to them shortly. Question from the boss who put this process in place: “I notice the assignments for 5/6 are bolded- does this mean you scanned them to the employees? I just changed them.” Is this some kind of joke? Did I miss something? Am I being punked? Oh, no, my boss is just utterly ridiculous.
• I really want a cinnamon bun right now. I’m struggling not to do it but damnit I’m tired, hungry and sore from a 9 mile run on Saturday.
• Last week something went wrong EVERY day. Looking like this week will be the same. Fucking spectacular.
• My brother gave me the greatest gift of all last night: Quarters. Now, I can do my laundry. Whooo!
• I gave in and ingested 440 calories of bread and sugar and absolute awesomeness. Guess I need to do a second workout tonight while the laundry is going.
• Just contacted to potential employers in Atlanta who reached out to me after coming across my resume. I don’t really want to stay here but it would be easier than relocating.
• The guy here to fix the scanner is Asian. No fucking clue what he is saying. I just keep nodding my head. Good news is he can’t seem to understand a damn thing I’m saying either!
• Someone messaged me yesterday and said they were in Athens and heard my name thrown around a lot. I don’t know what this means. Yes, my drunken antics are fairly well known in my college town but I graduated 4 years a go Friday. And I have no idea who this guy was hanging out with in Athens to even take a stab at what was said. Of course, the message ends with details to follow. It has now been 17 hours and no details have emerged. It’s driving me nuts.
• I literally almost just fell in the toilet trying to flush it with my foot. Can you imagine walking back into my office and explaining that one?
• I’m so tired my eyeballs hurt. Glasses will need to be put on the minute I get home from the office.
• Said friend is now messaging me about my drunk stories in Athens since he didn’t know me in college. Good lord, I can’t remember the shit I did!
• The sweater I am wearing right now cost $4.98 at Target. But not my Target. In my Target, the clearance section never has anything less than $11.98 because in my mind Clearance is less than $10. PLUS, it’s Target. When the fuck did it become acceptable for this store to have anything that costs more than $25? Why are shoes priced at $21.99 considered sales there? At this point, they are no longer competing with Walmart and they are breaking my little piggy bank into shards of unhappiness. Go back to cheap shit damnit!
• I’m so lazy that when I say No Big Deal I just drop the Deal section of it. It’s implied like when you read the newspaper and they do [this]. Plus No Big sounds cool. That’s right peeps, I abbrev statements not words. Okay, some words. So that was a lie.
• I can’t wait to get paid so I can send @centripetal his damn book.
• I love email flirting. I love flirting with guys. Even taken guys. Sue me.