Anyone who knows me knows I. AM. TERRIBLE. WITH. MONEY. Terrible. I once had a decent credit score. Then I shot my mouth off (or my fingers, either way) and lost my job, missed a payment, put some shit on a credit card and I’m back down to like 600. ARRGGGHHH. Thanks to Capital One I have to triple the minimum payment just to remain under the credit line which means I can’t pay off Bank of America. It’s a vicious cycle compounded by the evil Victoria and her stupid secrets with their $10 off cards they keep sending. But only if you use your credit card. DAMN.
Anyway.
A friend of mine works for a bank. So I bank with him as a favor to him. Plus they let me go to any ATM 10 times a month and cover the charge which has proved AWESOME at things like concerts at the Arena where some things are cash only. On top of that, they are convenient to my apt. So I help him out and routinely open new accounts and shit for him. A few weeks ago he asked if I would mind if he attempted to open a new credit card for me. We knew I would be denied but he would get credit for the effort. So I said, “No problem.”
PROBLEM.
Two weeks later, I got a denial letter. Then I got a credit card. What? I called my bank and was told HSBC runs their credit card and while I had not been approved for the card my friend tried to open, HSBC can offer me a different one. Just ignore it if I didn’t want it. So I never activated it and forgot about the whole thing.
Until yesterday. Yesterday was May 11, 2010 if my calendar is correct. I checked my mail and had a billing statement from Fifth Third for my credit card which has a $19 fee. Of which I owed at least $15 by May 9. How is this possible? It’s May 11. I just got the damn bill! On top of that, I never activated a credit card with HSBC so how can they charge me for it.
So I called and got pissed immediately. Their automated answering service put me through the paces then wouldn’t allow me to do anything but pay my bill. I don’t want to pay my bill. I press 0 for customer service and am told this is an invalid entry. FUCK. YOU. Then I just kept pounding 0 until someone answered. I’ll show you automated machine.
The first woman couldn’t help me but routed me to someone who could. Who then tried to convince me to keep my credit card by offering to waive the yearly fee this year. Not one time. Not two times. Not three times. FOUR FUCKING times she decided she needed to ask me if I was SURE I wanted to cancel the card. And she kept saying soothing things like “I respect your decision…” The fuck you do. You cannot respect my decision and then continue to try to persuade me otherwise. The first time I can understand. You are changing the parameters. But the next three times, you didn’t change them so after the first time when I said no they should have just cancelled the card. I finally went apeshit on her and she agreed to cancel it. Then asked if there was anything else she could do for me. Really? I know it’s probably second nature but it seems fairly obvious I wanted off the damn phone. No there is nothing you can do for me.
“Well, if you change your mind, please call us”
Not bloody likely.
** On another note, a big fuck you to my friend who failed to warn me this might happen. And to his cohort who failed to mention I needed to call them and cancel a card I didn’t even apply for in the first place.
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