Monday Musings

• I really don’t understand the lack of common sense in others sometimes. I work in a company where everyone telecommutes but me. This leaves me responsible for disseminating information to said employees. Generally this occurs through use of a scanner. I scan assignments, records and anything else our clients deem necessary for our employees to have in order to effectively do their jobs. Our clients know we work from home and they know this is the procedure. Yet every damn one of them sends over paperwork through the courier with STAPLES in it. PEOPLE! Come on, it takes me double the time it should to get people their shit when you staple it because (and I bet you didn’t know this) STAPLES CAN’T GO THROUGH THE SCANNER! I know, I was floored when I made that discovery as well. However, since I have explained this to you multiple times in ways like email, phone call and face-to-face interaction I think you should get over your utter disbelief over this phenomenon and just use paperclips already.
• I have got to get the shit to break into my own car and carry it on my persons at all times. In other news, I now have a new friend- Oren who is my new favorite locksmith. He is here from Israel and during his time here he hopes to live in EVERY state before heading back to his country. I thought that was pretty cool. Plus, after hearing my story about Run Local Locksmith (don’t use them) he charged me the minimum. Still pretty expensive but cheaper than the ultimate outcome of my fight with the other company.
• I am not digging my yogurt this morning.
• Added a new section. Why I think you care what I like and dislike I don’t know, but here it is!
• This weekend I went to a graduation party. That shit ain’t what it used to be. WOW. I wish I could redo my graduation party. Homegirl had it catered (Mexican. I may or may not have simply decided it was easiest to sit at the outdoor bar and gorge myself on chips and cheese dip). Parents have a wine cellar in their basement- chock filled with booze. Indoor and outdoor bars complete with minifridges STOCKED with liquors and beer. Pool. Flip cup. Beer pong. Ping pong. Hot tub. Shuffle board. That arcade basketball game. Tennis courts. Volleyball on one side of the yard. Cornhole on the other. Did I mention this was a high school graduation?!?!?!
• Hallmark Fresh Ink. The cards are the jam. Dear Kroger, please add them back to your lineup. Thanks a bunch.
• Finally mailed off @centripetal’s book. I’m going to get better at this giveaway shit, I swear. But only if you people promise to enter. For instance, no one wants a dick towel? I call bullshit on that. In the words of Gwen Stefani, “Take a chance you stupid ho!”
• Gave up on my yogurt. Switching to a Granny Smith apple. Tangy.
• Nancy Pelosi SUPPOSEDLY said that creative people should quit their jobs and focus on being creative. Because that was the point of the Healthcare bill. Jigga what crazy lady? I am NOT paying someone’s health insurance who is physically able to work but unwilling because they are chasing their dream of becoming a c-list actress, a tone deaf singer or an out of work writer. Trust me, I know it’s hard to find a job that complements your creative skills and leaves you with any time to hone those skills (hello?!?!?!) but I got a fucking job and so can you. Or, you can not have health insurance. Your call. Welcome to the real world.
• Mani/Pedi is a must today. I will DIM. As in Do it myself. Get it? Stupid.
• Forgot to pack my protein for my first lunch today. Freaking awesome. I hate trying to be healthy.
• Why am I so messy? I want to be a clean freak, I really do. I try pretty hard but it is so draining. It takes way to much effort and I have way too much shit. And when I clean out the apt more shit just steps up to take the old shits place. It really is ridiculous that at 26 my room resembles exactly what it looked like at 16.
• Reason number 99 I love Progressive: Reimbursement for my lockout yesterday. Fuck yeah. I adore them!
• I really don’t understand this BP oil thing. Someone sum it up for me. On Fox and Friends this morning they said there was a blowout argument about the rig the same day it busted and started spewing shit into our oceans. Apparently, BP won that argument so I’m thinking if the argument was in any way related to the spill then this is BP’s fault. On the otherhand, if the other guy thought he was right, why didn’t he exercise his right to go above the guy from BP? Either way, we got plenty of oil…just in the fucking ocean and of no use to us at all currently.
• Left my iPod in the car. Too lazy to get it. No music today. Eerily quiet in here
• Must eat PROTEIN. Gets me every time.
• At this point, I'm not even writing anything of merit. Time to log off.