HOLY %^&$

*This is kind of a Wednesday Wigout in that I'm slightly freaked by something I discovered today. However, this is not a Wednesday Wigout in that I am not flipping my lid over some stupidity someone else did that I observed.

The title of this blog could be hell, fuck or shit depending on how you would react to finding your first fucking grey hair.

That's right, I'm 26 years old and this morning I discovered a fucking grey hair on my head. A lovely-if-it-weren't-making-its-home-on-my-head silvery strand. Where the hell did that come from?

Actual conversation between my mom and I:
Me: MOM! I found a grey hair on my head!!!!
Mom: Hmmm...
Me: MOM! Hmmm? A GREY HAIR ON MY HEAD!
Mom: You're aunt went grey at 27 so that sounds about right.

WHAT?!?!?! I have always said that when I started aging I would do so gracefully. None of this botox bullshit and dying of my hair. I was going to have a glorious mane of silvery hair. Actually I'd probably cut it short but whatever. I didn't imagine this would start occurring at the ripe old age of TWENTY SIX. Christ, Jessica Simpson was onto something when she uttered "24 is almost 25 which is practically 30!"

Actual conversation between my 24 year old brother and I:
Me: I found a grey hair on my head.
Brother: I'd feel sorry for you but HELLO?!?!?! (points to his shaved head and clearly visible receding hairline. I affectionately labeled him 10-head)
Me: That doesn't make me feel better. What hair you do have is not grey.
Brother: Well I'd rather have grey than none.

While we're on the subject of grey hair, hey guess what?!?! I seem to also be shedding an extraordinary amount of hair these days. So not only am I going grey but what brown hair is still attached to my head is swiftly running for the hills (it's like the premise of white flight...but on my head). I don't even bother to brush the shit anymore for fear that a huge chunk of it will fall out and I'll have to shave my head into a matching hair cut with my brother.

Oh. God. I'm. Getting. Old.