Down Since Monday

After the incident this weekend, Sunday was a rough one for me. I did go for a walk but not much else. Ate at the Vortex in midtown with my bro and his girlfriend where we had pretzels dipped in cheese dip, a buffalo chicken wrap and french fries. Other than that, I was lazy as can be.

Which led to me starting my week at 174.8 lbs.

I am happy to report, because of a lot of you guys, I did get my butt in gear on Monday. This week, I have gone to the gym 5 times, played kickball and softball and eaten pretty well for me. I have another gym time session planned for today at lunch. I am hopeful that Saturday morning I can drag my ass out of bed early enough to beat the rain for a run. Sunday I plan on doing some kind of workout dvd (I have several) and keeping it pretty low key.

I just had to turn in a story for Blush Magazine* in Chattanooga about losing weight for the wedding and I came across a few things I needed to be reminded of so I thought I would share them below:

• Write out concrete goals. For example, I want to lose 15 lbs by May 7th. This gives you a measurable goal so you can track your progress.
• Join a Weightloss Community. Or running community. Or whatever it is you need to keep you on track. Thanks to you guys I have this in the bag.
• Mix up your workouts. It fights boredom and challenges your body.
• Buddy Up. I do not do this at all. I might be a bit to competitive for that. Or lazy. Either way.
• Eat healthy in the long term. I'm working on this!

I did indulge in some moose tracks last night. I put it in a coffee mug to keep my portion in check (for me anyway). I'm sure it was more than a serving size but at least it wasn't the entire 1.5 quarts. Baby steps people.


As of this morning, I weigh 170.8. I am down 4 lbs in this week alone. I didn't starve myself. I just stopped eating like crap and made use of my lunch breaks for gym time. Hopefully I continue the trend.

As for Saturday's incident, I didn't really address it in this post but I will do so in a future post. Thanks to everyone on facebook, dailymile, twitter, this blog, other blogs and everywhere else who were so supportive!

*Click the link to see this month's stories: pg 14 on sensual workouts and pg 25 for 5 great fitness blogs you should be following! Oh! And my tips (from a non expert of course) for training for a marathon can be found on pg 30! Not that I've run one...just read about them!

Google

So, I saw this on someones facebook wall today:

Do you live in Atlanta? Interested in Google? Did you graduate between 2006 and 2010? We're hosting an event and we want YOU to come learn more about Google, while also sharing a bit about yourself. Complete the form below for information about working at THE BEST COMPANY. EVER.

https://spreadsheets9.google.com/a/google.com/viewform?hl...

See More

Google Alumni Party - Atlanta

spreadsheets9.google.com

about a minute ago ·  ·  · Share

I clicked the link and got to the full advertisement and found this little section to be interesting:

School *

•  Clark Atlanta University
•  Hampton
•  Howard
•  Morehouse
•  Spelman
•  Other: 
• 
  

Is it just me or is this somehow racially geared? Why are they only looking for people from historically black colleges and universities? And why didn't they say that before I clicked the link and got pumped about an event I'm clearly not the target demographic for? I actually had to use GOOGLE to look up HBCU in order to even understand that I was not invited AND that was after I caught a glimpse of the school list and realized UGA wasn't on it. Do I show up and claim ignorance? For that matter, do they prefer African Americans who attended only historic black colleges? Wouldn't it be easier to just write  COLLEGE: and leave a blank for them to write into? Would they rather Georgia State, University of Georgia, Georgia Southern, Georgia Tech and any other schools not listed as historically black just stay home?

Calling this a Google Alumni party seems silly to me- it is a broad title when you read the actual invite. This is for a select group of people- don't even get me started with the confinement of the year they graduated. I'm sure this happens all the time. I just find it interesting that HR is not allowed to select candidates based on race, religion, sex, etc and yet they can host a party that is for a certain type of person. With the economy the way it is and workers of every sex and race willing to work for less if it means having a job, why would Google limit themselves? And are they having to do this because they limited themselves to whites who attended engineering schools? Did they limit themselves to begin with and now they need to remedy it?

Here is the link to the full invite: https://spreadsheets9.google.com/viewform?hl=en&formkey=dGgzWjJjTkU1OWRWTmhIbW9vWHBsaUE6MQ&ndplr=1#gid=0

Thoughts?

*Before anyone gets mad at me, I am genuinely curious. I'm not knocking their decision to do it this way. I'm not saying they are choosing one race over another. I simply saw this for the first time today. Maybe they have done it for the major universities in general before. But then you have to wonder why they are segregating? So many questions....

Proof that Weight DOES NOT Matter As a Runner

And by that, I mean whether you are fat, average or skinny, you can finish a marathon.

Check out this story of a SUMO WRESTLER who completed a marathon, setting a Guinness World Record.

Wish this had happened in time for that jerk who called me Fatty Saturday.

A New Low

My struggle to get healthy is well-documented in this blog- pictures included. My workouts, my failings, my binges, my healthy meals...my successes. You would think being back to the weight I was at when I started this blog (correction struggling mightily to maintain the comfy 4 lb cushion I have before I hit that weight) would be my lowest point. To date anyway.

However, even with the fat rolls appearing in my midsection and the complete lack of motivation, I have never truly felt bad about myself. Want to lose weight and fit in my clothing? Sure. But truly feel bad about myself? Never.

I've added strength training to my workouts and have started back on the long journey to cardio fitness and running. All in all, I was starting to feel much better about where I am going in 2011.

Until today's run.

I got up this morning with a renewed sense of purpose. I was going for a morning run. No letting the day get away from me. I had a plan. I put on my UGA Nike Tempo shorts, a black drifit t-shirt and laced up my shoes. The Garmin, which has been charging for a month now during my sloth-like inactivity, was ready to go. The iPod, also unused in the past few weeks, was fully charged. My running playlist, which just a mere three weeks ago seemed stale, was amping me up.

I WAS GOING RUNNING.

The first mile and half felt good. I hit the mile mark and rather than turning around, I kept going. I decided I would run 2 miles out and then walk 2 miles home. And I was feeling good. I wasn't going my fastest but the day was gorgeous and I was running some hills.

And then it happened.

"HEY FATTY!!!! HOW FAST YOU GOING?"

In all of my life, I have never been called fat to my face. Okay, once by this girl my college boyfriend cheated on me with and later dated. But I didn't really let that bother me as she weighed more than me so who was she to talk (ironically, I was 20 lbs lighter then than I am now).

I was mortified.

And more than a little hurt.

Here I was, doing the best I can to better myself and this attractive (on the outside anyway) guy in a jeep is yelling at me. Doesn't it count for something that I am out there slugging up that fucking hill? What did I do to deserve that remark (except eat way too much food in the past 27 years of my life)? And to make matters worse, he laughed and repeated it to his buddy in the driver's seat so he could have a nice chuckle too.

Never one to let people know they've hurt me, I looked him dead in the face and said FUCK OFF. I never slackened my 10 minute mile pace. I just kept trucking that last half a mile.

All feelings of pride that I was out there and I was doing the damn thing had fled. Replacing those feelings were thoughts of failure. Of wondering why I didn't just enjoy the fuck out of my food and give up being healthy. If I'm going to get called fat running, I might as well get fatter and enjoy doing it. I felt inadequate. I felt ugly.

I was humiliated.

Every car that passed by, I imagined the driver and passengers wondering to themselves what that fat slob thought she was doing. By the time I hit mile 2 I felt completely depressed.

I spent the next 2 mile walk home alternately crying and getting pissed. I imagined marching out into Peachtree Street and giving that asshole a piece of my mind. I imagined decking him (which probably would have resulted in me being the one who was hurt with a broken hand instead). I imagined the whole thing never happened. That I was 5'8" and lanky like my sister.

Instead, I am me. I am 5'6" and weigh in at 172 lbs today. I eat too much but try to watch that it is healthy. I run when I can and ride the exercise bike. I try to add weight training. And I am trying my best to be happy with who I am RIGHT NOW. I wouldn't say I'm oblivious to the fact that I could be healthier and happier but most of the time I am pretty confident with who I am.

I'm just not sure how long it will take to get back to feeling good about myself after today's incident which has left me completely shaken. It may sound stupid but it really hurt and it makes me never want to leave the apartment in order to avoid it happening again.

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 11

Something you hate. Seriously? This photo challenge was not made for me. I could go on about things I hate for HOURS a la Peter Griffin's What Really Grinds My Gears. For instance, the ridiculous girls who think the gym locker room in our office complex is an appropriate place to take their shits. Because no one is in the locker room to hear and smell that! Or my neighbors. Have a I mentioned lately that I hate my neighbors? Working in general isn't something I love but I don't know if I would say I hate it (can't actually. Not really in the mood to get fired for saying it again). That bitch on Twitter who called me a fug bitch and told me the falcons suck. I should put her picture on here and take a poll. How hold is this whore from Boston? I said 15 and she said Fuck you. Gotta me 16 then. What a potty mouth on that one. Or the old lady in the left lane yesterday making the turn onto Roswell Road at less than a mile an hour. Literally STOPPING then going an inch then stopping again. I honked and some asshat waiting at the red light to turn onto Glenridge yelled out his window to calm down. Shut the fuck up dickhead and mind your own business. If it was St. Patrick's day and you were stuck behind a handicapped woman who shouldn't be driving in the first place you'd be honking too. I guess maybe this has turned into a Friday Freakout. Also, I hate being broke. How's that for a hate? And mom's who post stupid shit on their facebook about their kids. I hate that more than I hate the political bullshit people seem to think I want to read. You are not an expert, nor could you do the job better you idiot.

I guess the thing that encompasses all my bitching is STUPIDITY.

Seen on Facebook

I think it's precious that not only is Lily a side sleeper, but she rolls to the side that she laid on in my belly. I LOVE my munchkin! In other news, she busted out "momma" again 3 times in 

her nap time hissy again. Robby & I think it was intentional - time will tell!

SERIOUSLY?!?!?! NO ONE GIVES A FUCK WHAT SIDE YOUR FUCKING BABY SLEEPS ON. THE END.

30 Day Photo Challenge Day 10

Fuck. I got drunk and forgot to blog. Which ties in nicely with the person you get into the most fucked up shit with photo.

Clearly anyone cupping my boobs and licking my neck has gotten into some fucked up shit with me. Unfortunately, I can never seem to remember what the fuck happened the next day. In other news, it is always fantastic to have a bartender as a best friend to ensure nights like these occur.

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 9

Today is the day I let you in on the person who has gotten me through the most. And I am struggling so bear with me...

Hi Mom! She birthed me, she raised me, she boozed with me. She's the rock in my life. Welcome to the weekend....in case you were wondering Berryfine and her Mom will be drinking together this weekend so this really couldn't have come at a better time.

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 8

A Photo That Makes Me Laugh... wow that will be tough.

This photo is from my last night living in NJ. It was August and hot as fuck but I was sick as a dog with some random ass rash that had plagued me over the summer (not a STD before you assume. Turned out to be strep throat in my skin). The guys wanted to take me out for a last night out on the town and it ended up being a shit show. I couldn't even tell you what the hell was going on here but the night included erotic photo hunt, fencing with barstools, naked dancing, wrestling matches, shots, chinese fire drills and god knows what else. It could not have been a better last night and I have 50+ pictures to remind me of what an awesome group of friends I have back home.

From the Interwebs

Cause I don't know what the fuck to write about today... And other people say it so much better anyway.

• Apparently there was a 7 year itch in long term relationships? And here I thought if you made it over the 2 year hump you were doing well. I'm so confused. Probably because I never make it past the 2 year hump (or even to it really). Anyway, according to this Reuter's article, it has been replaced with the 3 year glitch. And then I realized this had nothing to do with technology which the word glitch implied. And the people were British which we all know are like another species entirely.
• Are you a prostitute looking for work? Head to New Zealand where they are raking in the big bucks after a natural disaster left a city in shambles. I've heard of needing reaffirmation of your life after facing mortality but I never realized people PAID for it.
• WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH KIDS THESE DAYS?!?!?! AND ADULTS?!?!?! In Texas, they are investigating a cell phone video showing an 11 year old girl being sexually assaulted. By star high school athletes and convicted sex offenders. I repeat ELEVEN YEARS OLD. On a cellphone video. I'm never having kids if this is the shit they have to deal with.
• If you play college spots, don't fuck your girlfriend. At least if you attend BYU. The school has a code of conduct, damnit, and don't you break it or else. Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face. Let's get with the times here, folks. This guy has no pity for him and I see his point but I really think a lesser punishment would fit the crime. 
• Simply en fuego! In Miami, a couple parked in a park put on a sexy show for passerbys and were subsequently arrested. Sucks when jealous cops gots to throw you in slammer for doing what nature intended. I would like to know what they mean by UNNATURAL behavior though...
• Bad News Folks.... oral sex is linked to cancer. Fuck that shit- everything gives you cancer. I refuse to cease and desist blow jobs. For those of you who hate it, here is your excuse not to do it anymore: It apparently causes more throat cancers than tobacco. RJ Reynolds is rejoicing somewhere.
• Jess at WTF is Up with my Love Life is answering your techno-romance questions regarding what that facebook post he sent you means... Hint: it is a good thing.
• Speaking of facebook, not only is it the leading evidence provider in divorce cases (and also the cause in 1 of 5 divorces) it also is a big ego boost for people who use it. I'm going to guess these are in no way related. Or are they?

Day 1 of Lent

OHMYFUCKINGGODIWANTAFUCKINGDIETCOKESODAMNBAD.



Last night a guy and I were talking about Lent and I mentioned giving up sodas and he asked why I would do that. The fact is, I go through phases with my soda. Much like everything else in my life, I will go MONTHS without having a sode (subsequently I'll also happen to be 15 lbs lighter) and then a night of debauchery that leads to bad decision making leads to post drinking diet coke. AHHHHHH morning diet cokes are the best.

Literally, like Pavlov's dog hearing the bell ring, I can hear a soda can open and immediately the craving begins. Ohhh the carbonation. MMMMMMMMM the taste.

So you can imagine how much I wanted to murder our intern yesterday when she opened a fucking Bart's Root Beer. The rest of the day I did nothing but snap at her because it was her fault for not giving up soda. Rude.

The worst part of the whole thing is staring into my work fridge and seeing all the soda. Caffeine free Diet Coke, regular Diet Coke, Coke, Sprite, Root Beer, Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper. Grape soda for crying out loud.

In other news, yesterday I did 20 minutes of cardio (including a gluteal workout on the elliptical) and a 30 minute weight workout complete with squats, chest presses, lunges, bicep curls, crunches, planks, tricep dips and calf raises. I am fucking feeling it today.

How was your Wednesday? Did you give up anything for Lent?

An Open Letter to Myself

Dear Fatter than Normal Self,

We have got to work together to put a STOP to this blowing up you seem to want to do. I know you're working out. I know you're TRYING (and I might add failing miserably) to eat healthy. What the fuck is it going to take for you to get back on the healthy living (and therefore slimmer, sexier self) train?

Is it the fact that the FAT surrounding your middle make it painful to do side crunches? Cause seriously that should help our cause.

Is it the back fat you can now feel weighing you down as it meets your ass fat? Cause that should help our cause.

How bout the stretch marks making themselves known? That is seriously unsexy.

Or the nauseous feeling you get after overeating? You like that cause we don't.

Mmmmm those lines you sport from your clothes digging into your fat rolls are sexy too. Not to mention uncomfortable the minute you remove them.

I think I could go on for hours but seriously let's just get our shit together and work on this. Eat healthy, exercise and be positive. I think we could turn this out of control downhill slide into a slow and steady climb to the top.

I propose we start by taking advantage of your religion. It's there for a reason and that reason is to provide you with LENT. So, NO SODA for 40 days. I guarantee that bloated feeling you have will go away. And your distended tummy might shrink down before it looks like you're 6 months preggers.

Besides, don't you want to look good naked?

XOXO,
Berryfine

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 7

Well this ties in nicely to Thirsty Thursday.

This would be my squeeze a shot. It goes to GA-FL with me. It goes to weddings with me. It gets filled up just to get filled up when I solo drink at home. My mom came home from the gym years ago and handed it to me and said "I got you a present". Who goes to the gym and comes home with a plastic flask that perfectly squeezes out 1 shot at a time? My fucking mother, that's who.

You can't get the exact one I have but if you're interested in a squeeze a shot you can go here. Or here. Or just google the shit like I did.

How To Make Your Girlfriend Happy

I'm so confused? Like I googled THINGS GIRLS SHOULDN'T DO IN BED and this is what I got? Why are there results telling me shit that has nothing to do with what I asked? Should I have binged it? Pretty much the exact opposite of what I was going for. But I'm a girl. I can adjust. I can be flexible. I can have a fucking good laugh at something that a guy and a girl got together and put out there for us to read.

My favs from the article:

1. The most important thing is to learn about women. If you never understand women in general, how will you understand your girl? Women are very maternal creatures: they love taking care of things. That's why she cooks you great meals, or worries when you don't call after you've driven home. Understand that she is not being excessively clingy; it is a natural part of being a woman, and therefore part of who she is. Perceive it as a good thing; women are only inclined to do this if they genuinely love and care about you a great deal. If she has stopped doing these things, there's something wrong! Most women are also very naturally affectionate and will often smother you with hugs and kisses and the like. The fact is, most will. That's how they think they are showing their love for you. If you feel this is a little too much, tell her gently that you like/love her a lot, but you're not ready for so much attention just yet. This won't hurt her feelings, but she will get the message. Remember also that women have been raised around stories that end in girls finding the 'Perfect Man', become a Princess and live happily ever after. Therefore, it is ingrained into their subconsciousness that they must find a man who is perfect in every way. While this is basically impossible, this article will help you understand what will make her happy, without changing your own personality. (I pissed myself right here).
2. Be confident. Be proud of being her boyfriend. There are appropriate times and places for affection. Kissing and intimate touching does not usually go over well in public. But don't be too shy to hold her hand in public because you shouldn't be ashamed that she's yours. (What the fuck? Are we 16?)
3. Do not argue in public and cause a scene. This will humiliate her and she'll think twice about going out with you again. Similarly, If you and your girl have an argument, don't do or say things to her that are mean and spiteful. That will make her think that you're a maniac.(I can't believe you argued with me in the hallway by the lockers. I am so EMBARRASSED!)
4. Don't start getting lazy about how you look just because you think she's yours. Continue trying to impress her because she might just lose interest if you begin to slack off.(Damn straight. If I have to shave my legs every god damn day and get waxed in my private areas the least you could do is make a half assed effort to look like you want to be a part of this relationship.)
5. Touch her regularly. Even the slightest touch can make a woman feel special. Hold her hand, give her a hug or gently touch her face--these gestures will all make her feel protected and loved.(Seriously, this should say fuck her regularly.)

If you can,click the link because there is a sweet video PLUS some warnings PLUS some related wikihows. 


But seriously, why is there nothing about sex on here?!?!?!

Brush off of the week

"Can I call you back in 10 minutes? I have to go brush my teeth"

Literally, just got brushed off. What the hell do you say to this? It is actually far worse than "I can't. I'm washing my hair tonight."

Got a good brush off? Email it to us at mylittleblackbook11@gmail.com

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 6

Day 6- someone you would like to trade places with for a day.

I know this will shock most of you but my answer is Jennifer Aniston. Bitch is HOT. You cannot deny she has a banging body. She has fabulous hair (did I seriously need to point out the girl who had a hair cut named after her has great hair?). She's pretty fucking funny in the right vehicle. She has an incredible work ethic and when she's on a late night show she seems pretty damn genuine. When the public took sides in the Aniston vs Jolie showdown, I was Team Jennifer all the way. And girl knows how to celebrate a birthday. In fact, I want to be her ON her birthday. Go down to Mexico and swill some margaritas. Bang Gerard Butler. Probably make out with everyone on the planet. Homegirl would be a SLUT if I had her body for the day.

Monday Musings

• I'm not letting the 30 day photo challenge get int the way of blogging. That would just be laziness, ya know? And if there is anything Berryfine is not it is lazy. That's a lie.
• If you're into music, check out Why Don't Hipsters Dance. I originally went here thinking it would be someone making fun of hipsters but whatever. It's good for music. 
• We all know I hate my  strongly dislike my neighbors so it should come as no surprise that they've managed to piss me off again. New neighbors moved on into the building across the way. Which would be all well and good except they were moving in at midnight last Thursday. WTF is that? On top of that, they moved in enough mattresses to make me think they got today's Groupon early and bought out mattress firm. 
• I am really starting to get old when I prefer getting drunk on cheap wine in my own apartment to going out and doing shots. OH.EM.GEE did I really just fucking say that? Ew.
• In Atlanta this weekend? Hit up Lucky Fest and maybe you can have a beer (or 12) with me. And if you're really lucky you'll be able to take shots with Berryfine's very fine Mom (she likes Lemon Drops just so you know). However, keep mentions of the blog to a minimum. Mom knows I'm a drunk but she doesn't need to know anything past that. MMMkay?
• For those of you who don't have your green gear for St. Patty's Day yet, let It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia help you. I personally own the flipadelphia shirt but would love it in green. I would kill for the green beer pong table too. Just in case any of you were interested in buying me presents. 
• Tomorrow is fat tuesday. How do I always forget just how much boozing occurs in the winter/spring months. I mean you start the year off with NYE, then there is my birthday (clearly a fucking holiday if there ever was one), MLK Jr Day, President's Day, Oyester Fest (times 11 billion), Valentine's Day (single's Awareness day), Fat Tuesday, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Parade Day (NJ), Shamrock/Lucky Fest, Highland Festival...20 billion beer fests....I could keep going but I'm getting hungover just thinking about it. You would think I could get myself drunk listing them but alas I cannot.
• The relocation bug has bitten me again. It cannot come at a worse time as moving is in no way feasible to move. But god I am so over Atlanta right now. 
• My best friend showed me this website FOREVER ago and I'm still obsessed: Left-handed Toons. Why the fuck didn't I think of this?
• Am I forcing it at this point?
• I just went through the office mail and saw this little fact: Beginning January 1, 2011 estimates are that 10,000 people will turn 65 every day for the next 19 years. Look I'm not trying to be an asshole but seriously? Maybe it is time to consider dying. Cause my paycheck doesn't even cover me. It sure as shit won't cover these people. Anybody ever read Boomsday by Christopher Buckley? Suddenly that premise doesn't seem so far fetched, does it?FYI, it's a great book. If you haven't read it, you should buy it.

Marry, Fuck, KILL.

Okay I'm jacking this from every other site and show that has done it and I'm just being honest and saying I'm jacking it. Taking a poll if you will. Because let's assume one of these guys is actually in my life currently and I'd like to know your thoughts. Bam. No I am not helping Ashton cheat on Demi.

So tell me, as their characters, who is the last fuck of your life, the greatest shag of all and the body you're burying in the backyard. Fucking blogger is being a bitch and won't let me put them in a row.

Oh, and if you're wondering where Fez is, well...let's be honest there are only room for three and Fez is really more of a my boyfriend dumped me and I'm really drunk and just want to feel loved please make out with me kind of guy.

30 Day photo challenge- Day 5

A picture of your favorite memory:

Welcome to Parade Day. It occurs a week or two before St. Patrick's Day and usually begins with Kegs and Eggs at the Monster's House. This particular parade day occurred right after Mayer jumped from the roof of O'Neill's (now the Manasquan Beach House) trying to jump to a tree. You read that right. The day of the parade dawned chilly but sunny and ridiculous amounts of beer were consumed by all. Poor Mayer had been alternating between crutches and the wheelchair and for this day we decided the wheelchair would benefit us the most. Unfortunately, for Mayer, we forgot what an asshole Monster could be. Half way to the parade Monster DUMPED Mayer out of the wheelchair and took off in it. Which of course to the rest of us shit-faced jackasses was hilarious. In other news, the wheelchair got us into Paul's Tavern ahead of the line AND got us free drinks. I walked 7 miles home and was in bed by 6 hammered. Then had to sneak back out of my house and call a cab to get back to the party at Monster's. Classic Erin.

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 4

Typical Sunday night. $6.99 bottle of wine. Boom.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day 3

A Picture from the Cast of Your Favorite Show. Christ, we know this is going to be a difficult one for me. I mean there is Eastbound and Down...The League... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sheesh...

The truth is...I could watch the first season of 6 episodes of The League on repeat and not get tired of it. Therefore, it must be my favorite!

30 Day photo challenge- day 2

Apparently, I'm supposed to put a picture of the person I've been closest to longest. Considering our parents divorced and we spent a fair amount of time apartment hopping, my bro and I are pretty close out of necessity. Which is ironic because he's basically a version of my father who I am not very close to. I have issues. Anyway, Peter was so bummed when my rents marriage busted up that he refused to speak to anyone but me. And when he did speak, he spoke in a made up language no one could decipher. We made up new games using old board game pieces when we didn't have toys. We wore our ugly ass kmart outfits and shared a water bed when it was time to go to Dad's. We beat the ever living shit out of each other. I had scars up and down my arms from him pinching me with his nails as a kid. Now, I drive him crazy by showing up at work to try on the BOING shoes (Nike shoes. I bounce around the store yelling BO-OING). I call him just to chat when I'm lonely. I counsel him. I support him. Now I don't know what the hell he does for me (puts up with me?) but he's not bad for a bro.

This picture is from his 21st birthday. I was living in Jersey and he flew up to see me. Because he knew if anyone could give him a great birthday, it would be his party-loving older sister.

30 Day photo challenge

Everybody is doing this shit on facebook. I don't play that way. Instead, I'm throwing it up here on the blog because I figure, WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T LOVE PICTURES? Plus, it guarantees I have topics for at least a month. Plus, I know you want to know me. But not in a biblical sense.

Anybody know the rules to this shit?

Pretty sure day 1 is a photo of me. And 10 things about me. So here goes nothing.

1. My favorite word is Fuck. Seriously. I know you find it surprising but I just fucking love dropping fucking f bombs. It is an incredibly diverse word. And, when done right, really adds a lot of spice to a conversation. Or blog. I haven't a clue if I do it right but I fucking love it so it fucking stays.
2. My favorite letter is B. B is for boobs, beer, booze, balls, brews, beach, bars, BOOM, boning, boner...I mean, come on. Is there a b word out there you dislike? If there is, I can't think of it right now.
3. I work in finance. Which is stupid because I haven't taken a math course since I was 17. And I hate numbers. I did however pass the calculus portion of the UGA entrance exam despite never having taken calculus.
4. I have a large family. My mom has 10 brothers and sisters, my dad has 6. I have a brother and a sister. My step dad has a sister. I have 30+ first cousins and twice as many 2nd or 3rd cousins that I actually talk to regularly. Most of them live within 30 minutes of each other.
5. My favorite liquor is is tequila. It isn't the most versatile of the liquors but it is the most fun. It makes me happy or angry. It gives me liquid courage. It tastes delicious. It is fun to shoot. And I adore nothing more than sitting on a patio somewhere drinking a margarita.
6. I'm a beach gal at heart. Jersey Shore is where I long to be. Judge away because I know it is not how you see it on tv.
7. After a conversation, I always imagine how I could have changed it to sound better. Especially fights. Sometimes prior to having a conversation I do it to. Sometimes I do it knowing I'll never say it. Ever.
8. I obsess. Over shit that doesn't even matter to anyone but me. I might have Aspergers. No, no I don't. And even saying it is doing a huge disservice to those that suffer from the Autism Spectrum Disorders. I seriously, seriously apologize for that.
9. Clearly, I say things and then think about them and have to immediately apologize. I am pretty insensitive.
10. I've never been out of the country. If I win the lottery I would like to go to Ireland. Maybe Italy. But honestly, I'd just like to take a vacation that didn't involve going to visit someone. I want to go to the beach for the sake of going to the beach. I want to go to the Grand Canyon, just to go. I want to take a cruise cause I feel like it.

Nights I can't remember with friends I'll never forget

So I had a post planned on my rules of dating (every girl has her own version though in my case it is more of a set of loose guidelines. See what I did there? And this is getting too long for a set of parenthesis). But then, The Ego Booster dropped a bomb shell last night and now I'm obsessing and got no sleep last night. Another thing girls do because we are all fucking crazy (though most won't admit it as freely as I do). You tell us one seemingly inconsequential thing and we analyze the fuck out of it. We beat a dead horse. And then we go back for more.

Jesus. Clearly I am both obsessing and suffering for it.

Any. Way.

The Ego Booster and I were having a normal conversation. In fact, I believe we may have been joking about my last trip to Jersey and what a mess I was. The following conversation then occurs:

EB: What, you don't remember making out with me? At Bar A?
B: Shut up. Why would you wait until now to ask me that? Or I guess rather to tell me that?
B: I hope you don't feel too used? Whoops.
EB: Haha it wasn't that long or anything. I guess your booze kicked in an you wanted a lil lovin'.
B: Damnit.
EB: What?
B: I made out with you and I can't remember!
EB: Haha, better than us having sex and you not remembering.
B: Fuccccckkkkkkk. I'm sorry Ego Booster.
EB: For what?
B: For not remembering. I feel like a real jackass.
EB: I'm not mad or anything. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry.

And from there it just spiraled out of control. I was so frustrated with my inability to remember. Even after being prodded I have ZERO recollection. No vague memory or sensory thought. Just blackness.

B: That does explain a lot about Monday though.
EB: Why?
B: I couldn't figure out why I had the urge to kiss you all Monday morning.
EB: Ahhh, yeah. I got an off hug instead. Weak.
B: Hey! You could have kissed me. Jerk.
EB: Haha, I was going to but then the hug came in and I figured I was in the friend zone.
B: I was so fucking confused. The urge to kiss you seemingly came out of nowhere and then I was all like self-conscious and shit cause I thought it was just me being ridiculous.

Jesus, WHO THE FUCK GOES TO A BAR AT 27 YEARS OLD AND SUCKS FACE?!?!?! As The Ego Booster pointed out, apparently me. And clearly, I have an issue remembering shit when I drink or the Sex Test wouldn't exist. But there is no kiss test yet so how the fuck was I supposed to know? And why would anyone wait A MONTH AND A HALF to fucking mention it? There have been ample opportunities to bring up the fact that I threw myself at this guy in the bar.

On a side note, this makes it super impressive (or sad) that when he got me back to our friend's place, he simply put me to bed and didn't try to get me naked. I mean what a gentleman. Or idiot since clearly I was revving to go. 

I then dialed my friend from college and told her the whole pathetic story and she just laughed at me and told me not to fret (don't fret little one). But I can't NOT fret. As a female I am wired to wonder what he thinks of me for doing that? And, is that why he talks to me? Because I'm a hussy who throws herself at men in bars and then sexts them on the weekends they aren't together? (the answer to that one is no. He actually answered it without being asked when I called him at 12:30 am to figure out what the fuck he was thinking) Was the make out good? (I would assume yes otherwise why would he want to come visit me and make out some more?) Does this instantly ruin anything we had going? Why the fuck can't I remember?

God. I'm a nut job. A nut job who needs coffee. Stat.

Super Snack

It is my lunch break and as I munch on Pirate's Booty and my turkey sandwich, I read whatever pops up on yahoo.com.

Apparently, today, they know how hungry I am because they have an article proclaiming Bananas bust hunger.

Ever grab a snack but then feel hungry again 20 minutes later? Next time, reach for a banana. It’s loaded with Resistant Starch (RS), a healthy carb that fills you up and helps to boost your metabolism. Slightly underripe medium-sized bananas have 12.5 grams of RS—more than most other foods. Ripe bananas give you 4.7 grams of RS, still enough to keep hunger pangs away. Check out these tasty ways to work in this wonder food.

Let me tell you, I had a banana for breakfast this morning with my vitamins and cranberry juice and it filled me up for an hour or so (I know I should have eaten more but I was in a rush and running late). I do love bananas though and if you're looking for a way to change up your banana ingestion, check out the story for a few recipes.

Also, a few days late but I have the KT Tape winner- Fruitfly shoot me an email at fromfat2fab2009@gmail.com with your address and I will get that out for you. I'm trying to think up the next giveaway (ideally I would like to do a minimum of 1 a month). Suggestions are welcome :)

Why am I not blogging lately? Because I feel fatter than a cow and I cannot reign in my eating. Just thinking about the blog is depressing me. But I am getting a workout in every day so I have that going for me.