From the Interwebs

Cause I don't know what the fuck to write about today... And other people say it so much better anyway.

• Apparently there was a 7 year itch in long term relationships? And here I thought if you made it over the 2 year hump you were doing well. I'm so confused. Probably because I never make it past the 2 year hump (or even to it really). Anyway, according to this Reuter's article, it has been replaced with the 3 year glitch. And then I realized this had nothing to do with technology which the word glitch implied. And the people were British which we all know are like another species entirely.
• Are you a prostitute looking for work? Head to New Zealand where they are raking in the big bucks after a natural disaster left a city in shambles. I've heard of needing reaffirmation of your life after facing mortality but I never realized people PAID for it.
• WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH KIDS THESE DAYS?!?!?! AND ADULTS?!?!?! In Texas, they are investigating a cell phone video showing an 11 year old girl being sexually assaulted. By star high school athletes and convicted sex offenders. I repeat ELEVEN YEARS OLD. On a cellphone video. I'm never having kids if this is the shit they have to deal with.
• If you play college spots, don't fuck your girlfriend. At least if you attend BYU. The school has a code of conduct, damnit, and don't you break it or else. Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face. Let's get with the times here, folks. This guy has no pity for him and I see his point but I really think a lesser punishment would fit the crime. 
• Simply en fuego! In Miami, a couple parked in a park put on a sexy show for passerbys and were subsequently arrested. Sucks when jealous cops gots to throw you in slammer for doing what nature intended. I would like to know what they mean by UNNATURAL behavior though...
• Bad News Folks.... oral sex is linked to cancer. Fuck that shit- everything gives you cancer. I refuse to cease and desist blow jobs. For those of you who hate it, here is your excuse not to do it anymore: It apparently causes more throat cancers than tobacco. RJ Reynolds is rejoicing somewhere.
• Jess at WTF is Up with my Love Life is answering your techno-romance questions regarding what that facebook post he sent you means... Hint: it is a good thing.
• Speaking of facebook, not only is it the leading evidence provider in divorce cases (and also the cause in 1 of 5 divorces) it also is a big ego boost for people who use it. I'm going to guess these are in no way related. Or are they?

OHMYFUCKINGGODTHECOOLESTFUCKINGTHING!!!!

Are you a female?

Do you live in or around metro Atlanta?

Do you like to dish about sex and relationships?

Do you want to hang out with moi?

If you answered YES to all of those questions, then pay attention!!!!!

Are you sitting down?

Hot Mess and I spotted something so totally spectacular that we just had to apply and now share with all of you! You can thank us later. Anyway, fellow bloggers and possessors of rockin' gaggles, Jess and Becky ARE COMING TO ATLANTA. If you aren't reading their blog, WTF is up with My Love Life, you are missing out! You see Hot Mess and I read this post about their tour and Hot Mess immediately composed a stellar letter that went a little like this:

Hi Jess & Becky!

I was sooo excited to read about your WTF tour!!! That's awesome! I think you guys should definitely come to Atlanta (if you weren't already planning on it) because I've actually begun to educate people on the concept of the Gaggle down here (before you decided to go on tour) AND Atlanta is loaded with singles/non-dates/ambigudates.

I've commented a few times on your site and I absolutely LOVED the "don't be THAT girl" piece I read today. My friend Berryfine and I are both bloggers and have given shout-outs to your blog before because it's just so genius. Seriously. It is. I can't tell you how many times I've sat down with a couple girlfriends and a bottle of wine and over-analyzed that text message or that email or his behavior on a group date or whatever. And we run around in circles being like "i mean, he definitely likes you if he said/did THAT" and then we get fixated on him for a while, then another opportunity arises and we're trying to figure out how to balance it all. And we've never been able to come up with a name for it. Seriously. Gaggle = Genius.

Ok, enough ass-kissing I suppose. Berryfine and I are both up for being interviewed. And we have a lot of girlfriends in the Atlanta area that would gladly give you their 2 cents on their gaggles/love lives/non-dates. If you'd like a list of people, I'm sure I can come up with one early next week. Just let me know what you need from me to make a stop in Atlanta happen!

I've copied Erin on this so that's 2 of us already! (crossing fingers!)

Thanks!

So...a while has gone by, I've started a new job and I've just been beyond stressed (plus its football season peeps) so clearly I forgot about it. But I woke up this morning and was just dragging. After my 6 am walk, I sat down at my computer and JESS HAD EMAILED HOT MESS AND I BACK!!!!! To say it made my morning is an understatement!

Ladies!!!

I'm so sorry that we're just getting back to you now - as you might've seen on the site, I've been traveling for most of this month throughout Texas and California for interviews and I'm just now taking a moment to breathe and catch up on everything. Finally!

Thanks SO much for reaching out, and for being such fans of the site. Both Becky and I absolutely loved getting your email, and I can't wait to hear some of your stories! We're definitely planning on an Atlanta trip, so it's great to hear that you both would be up for being interviewed and might have other interested friends as well. We're still finalizing the dates, but it will probably be sometime in December. Hopefully you'll be in town then?

I'm going to put us all on a quick email to the rest of the WTF?! team - Becky, Loren and West - so that they can e-meet you and we can start getting psyched for Atlanta...

Really looking forward to meeting you ladies, and thanks again!!! Hope that all is going well with your gaggles - if not, we'll just have to dish about it soon instead ;)

xoxo,

Jess

So if this is something you'd be interested in participating- cocktails, sex talk and ladies- then hit us up. We're still getting details but we are super stoked and we want all of you involved as well!

Stories From When We Were Young...

So, I'm in the process of relocating and in doing so, I've had to cull through some boxes of stuff. I've stumbled across some great letters and notes between my friends and I that absolutely HAVE to be shared. For that, I apologize to them. This one comes from back in October of 2003 and I'll skip through the crap and get right to the meet of the letter:

Remember Matty*? Looks like Matt Dillon but light brown hair. Yeah, well, if not he's the one I made out with and then felt bad and tried to convert me. Well, he came over to watch a movie almost a month ago and we didn't watch any movie. We started making out. Yeah, started to have sex because I had apparently gotten him very excited by not doing much. Yeah, definitely wasn't even a minute man. It was like 25 seconds. Hump Hump Hu- and he came. NO JOKE!! It was horrible. And he said that, not me. I felt bad for him. It had been so long since he's had sex he came in 25 seconds. It wasn't enough that I wasn't turned on at all. So I wasn't upset. But we decided that he just shouldn't come over anymore because he always ends up feeling bad. I saw him a week later and usually he gives me a hug. Nope, I got a high five. I thought that was hilarious. Doesn't answer my ims either. I think he thinks I'm going to ask him to come over. NO. Especially if we're gonna hang out and then he's gonna try to make out with me and then feel bad. That's not ok. Especially when he comes in like 25 seconds! WHO DOES THAT? Matty, apparently.

*Names changed to protect the innocent.