From the Interwebs

Cause I don't know what the fuck to write about today... And other people say it so much better anyway.

• Apparently there was a 7 year itch in long term relationships? And here I thought if you made it over the 2 year hump you were doing well. I'm so confused. Probably because I never make it past the 2 year hump (or even to it really). Anyway, according to this Reuter's article, it has been replaced with the 3 year glitch. And then I realized this had nothing to do with technology which the word glitch implied. And the people were British which we all know are like another species entirely.
• Are you a prostitute looking for work? Head to New Zealand where they are raking in the big bucks after a natural disaster left a city in shambles. I've heard of needing reaffirmation of your life after facing mortality but I never realized people PAID for it.
• WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH KIDS THESE DAYS?!?!?! AND ADULTS?!?!?! In Texas, they are investigating a cell phone video showing an 11 year old girl being sexually assaulted. By star high school athletes and convicted sex offenders. I repeat ELEVEN YEARS OLD. On a cellphone video. I'm never having kids if this is the shit they have to deal with.
• If you play college spots, don't fuck your girlfriend. At least if you attend BYU. The school has a code of conduct, damnit, and don't you break it or else. Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face. Let's get with the times here, folks. This guy has no pity for him and I see his point but I really think a lesser punishment would fit the crime. 
• Simply en fuego! In Miami, a couple parked in a park put on a sexy show for passerbys and were subsequently arrested. Sucks when jealous cops gots to throw you in slammer for doing what nature intended. I would like to know what they mean by UNNATURAL behavior though...
• Bad News Folks.... oral sex is linked to cancer. Fuck that shit- everything gives you cancer. I refuse to cease and desist blow jobs. For those of you who hate it, here is your excuse not to do it anymore: It apparently causes more throat cancers than tobacco. RJ Reynolds is rejoicing somewhere.
• Jess at WTF is Up with my Love Life is answering your techno-romance questions regarding what that facebook post he sent you means... Hint: it is a good thing.
• Speaking of facebook, not only is it the leading evidence provider in divorce cases (and also the cause in 1 of 5 divorces) it also is a big ego boost for people who use it. I'm going to guess these are in no way related. Or are they?