Dear Fatter than Normal Self,
We have got to work together to put a STOP to this blowing up you seem to want to do. I know you're working out. I know you're TRYING (and I might add failing miserably) to eat healthy. What the fuck is it going to take for you to get back on the healthy living (and therefore slimmer, sexier self) train?
Is it the fact that the FAT surrounding your middle make it painful to do side crunches? Cause seriously that should help our cause.
Is it the back fat you can now feel weighing you down as it meets your ass fat? Cause that should help our cause.
How bout the stretch marks making themselves known? That is seriously unsexy.
Or the nauseous feeling you get after overeating? You like that cause we don't.
Mmmmm those lines you sport from your clothes digging into your fat rolls are sexy too. Not to mention uncomfortable the minute you remove them.
I think I could go on for hours but seriously let's just get our shit together and work on this. Eat healthy, exercise and be positive. I think we could turn this out of control downhill slide into a slow and steady climb to the top.
I propose we start by taking advantage of your religion. It's there for a reason and that reason is to provide you with LENT. So, NO SODA for 40 days. I guarantee that bloated feeling you have will go away. And your distended tummy might shrink down before it looks like you're 6 months preggers.
Besides, don't you want to look good naked?
XOXO,
Berryfine
2 comments:
Love the post. I think soda might be the thing that has to go this year. I'm sure you can do it! Besides, it's either that or beer, and let's not be silly.
Did you write this letter to me? 'Cause it sure sounds like it!
Post a Comment