Twitter Tuesday

I have abandoned my search for all things boom-related and am instead focusing on people who like to drink as much if not more than I do. Probably they like it less but they actually tweet A LOT about it. Her bio is concise and doesn't answer any questions; rather, it leaves you wondering about her fabulous life (alledgedly- it is the internet. It could all be fake). Dirty. Rich. and Beautiful, Jenn's Drunk resides in someone's pants and lest you think she is famous she is NOT Amanda Bynes. Trust me when I say if you have seen Amanda's tweets, then you know this girl cannot possibly be even remotely related.

• My name sounds best said around 2am in your bed, so that's when ill tell it to you.
• What was twitter called before it existed? Oh that's right, stalking.
• Nothing gives me more anxiety than having to make unimportant decisions for other people.
• If I've said "that's awesome" more than three times in response to what you're saying I'm absolutely not listening.
• Asking the question "You're rich aren't you?" is such a poor person thing to do.
• Don't hate the player, hate the idiot that doesn't know how to play the game.
• if i had a radio show i would randomly yell HEY to make sure people dont fall asleep when theyre driving #humanitarian
• Well, why don't you tell me what you need first and then I'll let you know if I'm busy or not...
• technology makes it impossible to forget someone.
• I'm going to assume Orthodox Jewish couples can't titty fuck considering you're not supposed to mix meat and milk...
• I wish the mind came with a "delete" option.
• The worst thing a guy can do is come early and the worst thing a girl can do is be late. #realtalk
• If you're gonna make garbage music at least make original garbage. I'm lookin in ur general direction Katy Perry.
• Dear drunk girls eating pasta, keep talking about how u dont eat carbs while you shovel that angelhair in ur mouths. Stay gross. Love, robs