i have been an Atlanta resident for almost 2 years { june 5th is my exact atlanta-versary }. and in these 2 years i have come to realize one main thing… you Atlanta people suck at a little thing called driving. the worst part is many of you have been doing in 10+ years like me. i thought if you do something everyday you get better at it not worse?! every damn day i am reminded about how much you cannot stay in your lane or merge onto highways or work a 4 way stop sign or change lanes or heaven forbid when a light goes out it debilitates you all. but most importantly, i have realized that 97% of you Atlanta drivers cannot seem to move your car forward which i think is the main point of having an automobile.
Atlanta natives bitch and moan about the traffic, but as a Washington DC native I have decided that yes Atlanta you have a traffic problem but if your drivers actually knew how to drive it would not be as bad. most of you bitches are timid as hell. Just get in your car and DRIVE! If you wouldn’t be scared to switch lanes or scoot through a yellow light traffic wouldn’t be so shitty. Drivers in DC are reckless as hell and they are not timid – traffic still sucks but at least you’re getting somewhere in the shitty traffic. Atlanta, I am stuck in a parking lot 24.7.365. Grow some balls and drive or I dare you to take a trip to the DC Metro area { Northern VA, DC, and Maryland } and try giving that drive a try. You’ll either (a) die (b) cry (c) get in an accident or two or (d) learn to fucking drive.
Lets chat about the back tail lights and break lights. What in the hell is up with 7 out of 10 cars not having 3 functioning back lights?! Isn’t that a safety concern? How many accidents in Atlanta are rear endings because of lights being out? In Virginia we have both a safety & emissions inspection, cops will pull you over and ticket you for a tail light being out. No lie, this week I have been behind a car going to and from work every day that has not had all 3 lights working. One car had NONE working. WTF?! Does Atlanta just not care?
There is something about an Atlanta driver and their cell phone. If the phone is to the ear the left foot just cannot put pressure on the pedal. They just rest it there and use all the effort to converse and no effort to even pay attention to if they’re going the speed limit. Seriously, if you cannot drive and talk … hang up and drive.
How about the douchebags who know where they’re going but think it’s a great idea to just try and zoom past in another lane and then cut people off to get over. well i hope you do not ever encounter my big black suv { commonly known as “big black” } covered in running stickers because friend, you ain’t no friend of mine and I am blocking you out. Have some fucking patience like the rest of us and get in line. Or what about the people who live in DeKalb County who get lost in DeKalb County. Do you know how I know you live here?? Your license plate told me so. …your constant breaking and “do i turn here… or here … no here” … that shit kills me. Get a fucking GPS it is 2010.
Oh the pick up trucks that have been supersized and jacked up. If you cannot control your gargantuan (spelling?!) truck then you should not be able to drive it. I want to revoke your license. It looks like you’re not only overcompensating for your likely little man friend but you cannot drive either. Stop almost running me into on coming traffic on Peachtree. On the topic of issue controlling your car. Soccer Moms in your vans and big suvs. If I became governor or president or head of the DMV whatever I become, there will be a driving test involved. If you cannot control your personal school bus then get a fucking station wagon. You can haul just as many kids and a cooler full of Capri Suns and Scooby Snacks for after soccer practice and not almost kill me. Oh and by the way, hang up the phone… the other soccer mom you’re talking to her, I am sure you’re gonna see her in 10 minutes talk then.
The pits though is how Atlanta drivers do not understand the common known rule of fast drivers to the left slow drivers to the right. If you’re in a staples delievery truck or a UPS driver or behind the wheel of a UHAUL 9 times out of 10 you do not belong in the left hand lane. If I am riding your bumper in the left hand lane going 40 in a 45… you sir in your BMW do not belong in the left hand lane. Yes, I do honk at you and flash my brights and scream and scream and scream and yes, I know it is doing nothing but have some fucking courtesy and move the hell over. I wish there was some sign I could wave at people that asks them the simple question “what makes you think you belong in the left hand lane?!”.
Please. Feel free to follow me on twitter (@bamabarbie06) and I will give you more traffic and driving tips on a daily basis!!
1 comment:
What I don't get is don't these people have somewhere to be? I do. I think maybe we should have a separate lane for people who know where their going and would like to get there in a timely fashion. Bonus points if all your lights are functioning.
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