So 2009 was a BUST...moving on!

Okay 2009 was a bust in terms of going from fat to fit- still fat but a little fitter I suppose. I was definitely better about fitting workouts in but other than that...NOTHING. With 26 fast approaching, I have got to get my life in order and I think the most important goal is to get my health on track. With that being said, over the next couple of days I will be coming up with my goals for 2010. If anyone has suggestions or ways to keep at it, definitely let me know!

One place to start is FITNESS magazine. They have short videos posted with motivation and ideas for how to achieve your goals so check out their website.

Also, I'm thinking I will take the FITNESS drop 10 lbs in one month challenge. It will have to start January 3rd for me though so I will keep you posted on how it goes. Unfortunately, I am in a wedding January 1st so I'm not even going to kid myself thinking I will behave New Years Eve and wedding day!

The Holidays Are NO Good for my Waistline

Enough said.

I Smell Sex and Candy...

The other night I was at my friend Ashley's for dinner and I stopped to use her brother's bathroom. While in there, I happened to spot an Aqua Di Gio bottle. I don't know about you, but the smell of Aqua Di Gio makes me want to rip my clothes off and spend a naughty night

Of course, ads like this (featuring Lars Burmeister) certainly help that idea.

Another smell that really gets the juices flowing for me is Bath and Body Works Eucalyptus Spearmint. My friend Allyson and I once spent thirty minutes in there just sniffing it. I could not figure out why I was so obsessed by the smell. We both ended up buying travel sizes to take with us and in the middle of the night I awoke with the answer: the shit makes me think of orgasms. Probably because it smells like MAN. It's billed as a relaxation scent by Bath and Body Works and it's truthful advertising. Think about it, when are you more relaxed than right after a bone-liquefying bout of sex? So much so, that I went and bought the spray for my sheets. Talk about getting in the mood for some solo love!

Apparently, there must be some kind of scent-sex connection- the theory of pheromones and all that. I'm okay with it and believe it wholeheartedly. I am definitely attracted to someone who smells good. I've only dated one guy who didn't use cologne- consequently the sex wasn't as good as I hoped. It makes me wonder if I've missed out on someone great simply just because he didn't smell sexual to me.

What about you? Are there any smells that get you in the mood?

Birthday Crushin

In honor of his recent birthday (December 19) and his alleged newfound single status, I thought I would provide some nice shots to aid in your fantasies about Jake Gyllenhaal. Happy Birthday crush!

OH. MY. GAWD. TAKE IT OFF!

I like to imagine you rebellious and dirty and SEXY, Jakey-poo.

All I want for Christmas...

Dear Santa,

I hope this letter finds you well. Christmas (as you know) is fast approaching and while I have given my mom a list of things I would like I believe it's time I take it straight to Santa's lap. Unfortunately, those mall minions cannot seem to get it right. Whatever.

Anyway, you probably think it is pretty ballsy of me to write you a letter with requests after the year I have had but...well, I deserve something that I actually want. I really think you need to rethink this lump of coal approach to naughty. Because I enjoy being naughty and I should be rewarded for it. And my list isn't out of the realm of possibility because you're Santa and you make shit happen. If you could tell me how to go about making shit happen, I'd happily do it myself. But since you won't...MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

1. My own liquor cabinet. Patron, Southern Comfort, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels...you know the great stuff. I want it in my kitchen Christmas morn- none of this egg nog bullshit.
2. Hot sex on a stick. No, I do not mean a vibrator though maybe I do. Damnit- this is 2 & 3. I want a vibrator AND a hot guy to have sex with. Meaningless hot sex.
3. A legitimate career. One I enjoy. And make a salary. And travel. Yeah, I think that's it.
4. Liposuction. EVERYWHERE.
5. A personal trainer to keep my ass in line.
6. Cute clothes
7. A boyfriend....maybe make that happen in the summer. I think that would be good timing, date a year, married by 28 or 29. Perfecto

So, yeah I think that's about it. Nothing too difficult so hop on it. I will misbehave until I get what I want. Just so you know.

Love,

Life in Shambles

PS. I'm still drunk from last night.

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday

• Ummm someone I know got arrested. And it's on TV. And it's for a violent crime. I cannot stop googling this shit. I want to know everything. Does that make me a horrible person?
• I like how if I click two or three songs in a row that I dislike, Pandora is like Fuck the songs she hasn't listened to yet, I'm going to throw one in she already clicked a thumbs up for. Sound logic except this station is only playing the same 10 songs. I'm sick of them and now having to give them all thumbs down. Damn you Pandora.
• Also, Pandora, I don't like Miley Cyrus. I don't know how much she pays you to randomly insert her shit into my stations but kindly tell her to shove it.
• The holidays make me want to not work at all. Obviously.
• I just got asked out over the internet. But not on a dating website. Does this still make me pathetic? Just in case, I told him I have to check my schedule until I get a good idea of what you people think.
• Why is it easier for guys to lose weight? I mean they already don't have a period so why should they be able to shed pounds easier? It's not like they are good for anything as it is. So far, God, you have really messed this shit up. I absolutely do not need a man for anything anymore.
• I sure as shit hope all these loud noises mean that my fucking neighbors are moving AWAY. For good. Forever. I hate every one of them. Damn elephants. Also the one across the hall is a prostitute. That is the only conclusion for having 10 guys living there with her in a one bedroom apt. No, they are not Mexican in case you were going to ask.
• Just looked out the window. She is definitely moving. God forbid she get boxes though. Everything is in trash bags. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever watched.
• Does anyone else make fun of their friends on a regular basis? Or am I just THAT BITCH.
• Seriously, Jon Lajoie, you need to call me. I'm lonely, you're hot and I think we could be good together. I will even overlook the fact that you are Canadien. What's that all aboot?
• Ryan Reynolds is Canadien too. Maybe I should just move there and meet a man.
• Does anything shock anybody anymore?
• Why do people get so offended when you ask for money for Christmas? I mean, it's a useful gift. I actually NEED money. What is so wrong about being honest about what I want?
• Besides, if I tell you why I want the money you might get offended. Or buy the wrong thing. Then I would just have to return it for the MONEY. And in today's society you probably forgot a gift receipt so I just get store credit. To a store not in my state. Or that I hate.
• WTF is Gavin DeGraw up to these days? I mean One Tree Hill doesn't even have opening credits anymore. I know he guested one time last season. But where is he now? Doing drugs? Wooing hoes? Inquiring minds want to know.
• Why at almost 26 years of age am I breaking out like a damn 13 year old? And just like my 13 year old self, I'm picking at them too. Because it's not bad enough having mountains on your face, you want them to be volcanoes and spew blood on your face too.
• After reading "Until Proven Innocent", about the Duke Lacrosse case I really have to wonder why they hell I wanted to get into journalism. I used to want to double major in criminal justice and journalism so I could cover a crime beat. Because the shit fascinates me. But who knew that as a journalist I would be almost required to ignore facts in order to be published?
• The guy under me has a small child. I'm not sure what that small child does, but his father ROCKS out. At 5 pm every day, the music starts blasting. It sounds like techno down there. I like to imagine them eating "candy" and playing with glowsticks.
• Jason Mraz does not appreciate the rave going on below me. He is getting angry.
• Everyone should have an alcoholic in their life to remind them why drinking is bad. And why your life is better than theirs. I do not recommend spending too much time with them though. That could have a negative effect.
• I feel sexy in my Nike tempo running shorts. I just feel like Damn my legs look good. Then someone takes a picture and I'm like ew! kill me now.
• Seriously does every techno song sound the same or is this asshole listening to the same song on repeat?
• I refuse to buy groceries this month. I will not use them so what is the point. Fast Food Nation bitches!
• I don't think anyone has an imagination like mine. Why do I not write this shit down?
• When you meet someone do you immediately wonder what your parents will think of them? Is it weird that I do?
• What am I doing with my life? I don't have an answer so I thought I would ask you. Perhaps someone else can get my shit together for me. I could come up with a wish list and they could help me make it happen. For free. Pro Bono. Cause I'm broke.
• Does anyone else get pissed when someone doesn't answer an email. It makes me angry! ROAR!
• Can someone please explain to me how dating works? It's been a while and I'm kind of nervous.
• I signed up for another 1/2 marathon. WTF am I thinking?
• I mentioned turning temporarily anorexic to my mom. She told me to go for it if I thought I could do it. She knows me too well. Self control and discipline are not my strong suits. I swear to god if someone responds to me to tell me anorexia is not a joke I will flip. I know. I know. I know. Don't waste my time and your typing skills.
• Dear Jon Lajoie, I'm sorry I am creeping you out. Love, me. Maybe I should delete the comma to be extra creepy. Love me. Love me. Love me. Ohhhhh it is creepy.
• I think I am vastly underappreciated...by myself especially.

Sex Song of the Week

Courtesy of Jon Lajoie (yes I am slowly creeping into stalker territory), I found this video on youtube that truly speaks to all of us who have had a boyfriend or fuck friend with this problem. Rather than just share the lyrics, I thought I might share the video as well!

Too Fast

Some Balls...but not enough for you to notice!

Jon Lajoie is my new sexual fantasy. I would like to have sex with him (possibly date and marry him) and have him write a song or infomercial about it. For your viewing pleasure:

Three Penis Wine Infomercial

Show Me Your Genitals

Sex On The Beach

For a sex blog, this blog has had a lack of sexual escapades. This is due to two things: 1. I'm not having it so writing about it is painful. It makes me all itchy and restless. 2. I was looking for something that I thought was imperative to the site. I still think it is but I can't wait forever for the damn thing to appear. So, I thought, I would write about sex on the beach. It's not just a drink you know. I've had two trysts in the sand but tonight I will just focus on the first one.

So, The First and I had been dating a little over a year when his dad invited both of us to the beach for a week vacation with his brothers. I have never gone on a family vacation with a boyfriend (in fact, to this day he is still the only one I have done this with) so I was a little nervous. I have no idea why- his dad OBVIOUSLY knew we were having sex and had no problem with us sharing a bed not only in his own home but while on vacation with the whole family. However, he challenged us on this vacation by putting The First and I on the pullout couch so that at any given time someone could walk in on us having sex. Suffice to say, there was a lot of teasing but not much sex.

After four days of this, we were understandbly cranky. I mean you can only take so much of sleeping in the same bed and seeing each other in next to nothing on the beach before one, or both of you, explodes. So that night, after a family dinner and time on the boardwalk, The First and I grabbed a blanket and went to watch the fireworks. Sounds nice and romantical, right? Well, it could have been had I not been dying to get his damn clothes off. And of course, all the families in the damn town are out on the beach watching fireworks. I don't want to be watching them, I want to be making them.

Where there is a will there is a way. I don't know a guy who is going to pass up sex when his girlfriend is like a damn bitch in heat. The First drags me down the beach, under the pier (which is just covered in families milling about now that the light show is over) and takes me against the pole (is that what you would call it?). I mean, takes me. Ravages me. I wish I felt more comfortable talking in detail about it but well, not yet. This was by far the most animalistic sex he and I ever had and it was all the better because at any moment someone would wander under the pier and see us going at it. It felt great to rid ourselves of some sexual frustration and doing it under a pier is the way to go. There was no sand in our shorts afterwards! Wait, I'm too smart for that, I was wearing a skirt with no panties. It was inevitable that I was going to get him to have sex with me!

So, tell me, have you had sex on the beach? How was it? Would you do it again?

Anyone Want to Run a 1/2?

Soooo...I ran the Napa to Sonoma 1/2 marathon this year and had an absolute blast. I did it with Team Challenge and raised over $4,000 for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. My dad has Colitis so this was pretty near and dear to my heart. I decided I wanted to do another one the minute I crossed the finish line. Angel said I should try Vegas but like Kona, I didn't want my first experience to be a race weekend. However, BOSTON's 13.1 is coming June 27, 2010 and I plan on participating! Click here for a link to the website about the race and click here if you are interested in running with Team Challenge.

My dad flew out to surprise me!

Jingle Jog Recap!

Okay, as soon as photos become available from the race I will be sure to post them for you to see! Kelly and I planned on running the 22nd annual Jingle Jog with a few other friends but they dropped out for various reasons (Shannon, Chloe, Britt- I'm looking at you!). Anyway, I picked up some Tonka Trucks and Kelly bought a cute costume for dress up to donate to the Salvation Army. We woke up at 6:45am (which is EARLY for a Saturday!) and headed to the race. I ate a banana on my way and guzzled some water. It was a chilly 33 degrees out but I was ready. After dropping off our gifts, picking up our numbers and securing our bells to our shoes, we were ready. Unfortunately, we got there just before the start so we were at the back of the back. I haven't timed a 5K recently but I pegged it at about 36 or 37 minutes so I was pleasantly surprised by my time of 32:53. Kelly and I cherry picked off a lot of people. She was a great person to run with because she kept pace with me and jammed to her own tunes. I hate when you feel like you have to keep up conversation. I did have to stop and walk for about a minute at one point because my lungs were crying and I didn't work out at all this week so obviously my body was not happy with me. All in all it was an awesome experience- definitely one I hope to continue for years to come!

Other People Inspire Me...

Just not when I really need to to occur. Like at the gym or at my apt by myself. Anyway, my fabulous friend (and former boss) Ellen discusses her AHA! gym moment on her blog so I thought I would toss it your way. Click Here! Also, read some of her other posts if you have a yen to- she is a great writer and covers a lot of cool and funny topics :)

Christmas Presents- Book Edition

Looking for a last minute gift for someone (don't forget yourself!!!)? Well, I have some great reading material you should pick up!

• If you want to put maximum effort into your gift giving go hunt up the book RPatz (Robert Pattinson for you people not in the know) is reading in his Vanity Fair shoot. I just checked Amazon.com and it is currently unavailable. Sex Driven People: An Autobiographical Approach to the Problem of a Sex-Dominated Personality. Written by Robert Masters, this book was published in 1965. While I cannot vouch for it's content the bright red, hard cover book will undoubtedly garner some attention. I'll let you determine if that is good or bad.
• Have a friend who's sex turnons are just plain weird? Make them feel better about it and purchase them Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices. Amazon has paperback copies for $14.66 and if you spend $25 you get free shipping so pick yourself up a copy too. Who knows? Maybe there is a fetish in there for you!
• If you are Catholic (like me!), I am positive you have felt a need to confess the pleasure you take in sex to a priest. Perhaps you aren't having sex because you feel guilty about it (Christ, that is a great excuse. Now, that will be why I'm not having sex. So much better than the obvious no one is pounding down the door for sex with me...) Anyway, pick up Sex Without Guilt in the Twenty-first Century. Written by Albert Ellis, you can pick up this gem for $11.66 on Amazon (thus satisfying the free shipping requirement).
• This next book is definitely on my wish list so if you haven't bought me a present yet, pick it up! Just please don't give it to me in front of my family or in a public place. Written by Tammy Nelson, Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together grabs my attention simply for the fantastic biceps on the cover. If the book sucks, at least you have the picture as a turn on. You can pick up this key to masturbation and more for $15.61 in hard cover on Amazon.
• Confused? Me too. Pick up Tantric Sex for Women: A Guide for Lesbian, Bi, Hetero and Solo Lovers by Christa Schulte. So you can be having sex instead of reading and writing about it...shiiiiiit I need a life.
• The title of this next book grabbed my attention so it is also on my book list. Alternatives to Sex is a novel listed at $11.97 on Amazon. Well it did until I started reading about it. The book is about a gay 40 something who trolls the internet. If this is your cup of tea I am fairly certain there will be plenty of copies left. Hey, even gays need gay lit. Seems like it could be a good beach read at any rate.
• A Torn Skirt is a great read for someone who still watches Twilight, loves Miley Cyrus and thinks it's okay to fantasize about Zac Efron. It has the added bonus of not sounding like a sex novel so you can read it on the subway or at a solo lunch without getting weird looks or awkwardly trying to hide the title of the book from people. It lists at $9.32 on Amazon.

I could go on but the simplest thing in my opinion is to head over to Amazon.com and type in sex or sex novels. Sex brings up a lot of how-tos and maybe you are just looking for a fictional account of sex being awesome or going wrong. If that's the case a how-to is not what you want. Obviously. And I stand by Lora Leigh as a way to get in the mood for solo sex so if all else fails pick up a copy of one of her books (which you can get at Walmart as you know from my previous post).

Tell me, any sex books on your wishlist?

ARGHHHHHHH

I would like to have sex again sometime in this lifetime.

That is all.

Am I Being Shallow?

Okay, so I have been trying to sign up for one race a month- it can be a 5K, 10K, 1/2 marathon, whatever. But I guess I can be kind of picky because the one I signed up for the month of November displease me before I even got there. In fact, I never showed up!

The event was a post-Thanksgiving 5K around Piedmont Park through MOVfitness. Well, I should have done my research. The $15 fee basically signed me up to show up. That's it. The money supports other ventures with the group and they advocate a race with no timing chips, no paper cups, no numbers and no t-shirts at the end. I wish I had known this prior to signing up. Next time, I will peruse the entire site before running the ole credit card through. I probably still would have gone but further inspection of the website turned up a fact that I could not get past: The race consists on anywhere from 10-100 people. Basically, I just shelled out $15 bucks to drive 40 minutes to do a club run.

I know, I know it sounds shallow. But I like my race t-shirts at the end of the race. I wear them out until they are nothing but holey pieces of fabric that no longer have a use. And I want the camaraderie of thousands of runners. I'm okay with water stations. And I'm okay with getting up at 6 am to drive 40 minutes to run IF there are race times and pictures to gloat over later.

So tell me, do you agree or disagree with me? Why do you run races?

Thanksgiving Break Day 4

Whatever weight I lost yesterday over the course of the day I gained right back with a 1/2 a pie of pepperoni and jalepeno pizza. Damn. Going for a run. Hopefully, I don't blow it today at the tailgate!

Thanksgiving Break Day 3

So my sister and I went to Black Friday at 12 am at Discover Mills. We wandered the mall area and did two laps so there was some post Turkey Dinner exercise. I negated it by ordering Wetzel's Pretzels while we waited for the awards to be posted. Of course, I didn't win a damn thing so that was a bummer.

This morning I woke up and made myself an omelet with pork roll (or Taylor ham. probably in the south you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about) and an everything bagel. Then my sister, my mom and I hit the avenue and wandered- see more exercise! Bought some clothing and was super excited when I got myself a Christmas dress...dunh, dunh, dunh...in size 10! Whoo, down from size 12!

I just finished up lifting weights and riding the exercise bike for an hour. Decided to stay in since I have a race in the morning. logged on to find out how to get my race bib. Apparently, this is one of those ECORACES. AKA, no fun. I do not think I want to drag my ass out of bed for a race at 8 am in downtown Atlanta the day of the UGA-GA Tech game. So I am going to just run some mileage tomorrow morning here in Lawrenceville. Bummer. What a let down!

Home for the Holidays Day 1

I think I did pretty well for the first day of the Thanksgiving holiday. My parents wanted to treat us to Mexican tonight. It is TOUGH having Mexican without margaritas but I stuck to water. I got there late which meant 1/2 the cheese dip was already gone. Also, good for me. I stuck with chicken fajitas for dinner and piled on the veggies. I steered clear of the rice but I smeared on sour cream so that was bad.

I took a break from work today to hit the gym and then went again tonight after dinner because I REFUSE to gain weight over the holidays. We'll see what tomorrow brings!

The Holidays are Upon Us!

AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Just thinking of the holidays makes me think that I will gain 20 lbs and never fit in the bridesmaid dress I have to wear on New Years Day. I haven't lost a lot of weight over the course of this thing but I feel like I have made great strides with my overall health. I have been more conscious of the food I put in my body and have been working out on a more regular basis. It used to be I would do great for a week or two and then have a crappy run. Now, even if I have one rough day, I'm back in the saddle the next day.

So the holidays are making me SUPER NERVOUS. I have no idea how to ensure that I don't gain all the weight I have lost. How do you turn down food at the holidays? And how do I motivate myself to work out?

Also, I am baking a pie but could use some healthier alternatives to the usual suspects at the holidays. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Afternoon Run

I have had such a stressful 20 hours. I don't even want to blog about it- suffice to say, I had a sleepless night and a Murphy's Law kind of morning. So on my drive home from the office, I decided a midafternoon workout was needed. Then as I was trudging up the stairs, I thought to myself how a nice run would be so beneficial to me for both my physical health and my mental health. Especially, my mental health. I squeezed out 30 minutes just because I do have to get back to work but I feel incredible now. My legs are a little sore from running two days in a row after a month of not running but it was so worth it.

Also, I had a response on Twitter to my request for winter gear. Definitely start following @PeachyRuns. Especially if you are a runner, walker, hiker, etc in the Atlanta area. Not only do they have great tweets but they fit me for running shoes before my 1/2 marathon and they have great gear at their locations around Atlanta. Look for Todd Liscomb or Mike Cosentino if you go to the store near the Brookhaven marta station. They have both helped me out when I have made the trek from Lawrenceville into their store and have been awesome. Mike is the go to guy if you have questions about running- especially in Atlanta (he even has a book of routes I am jonesing for!). Todd is the one who sold me on the Big Peach Sizzler which was so much fun. Check out the Big Peach website here.

AM RUN

I am going to trivia tonight in ATL so I was proactive and woke my ass up at 6:30 am for a RUN. It is awesome setting my own hours because I don't have to get up at 5 am to run. Checked the weather- it was 47 degrees. YIKES. That almost had me popping in a DVD instead of going for the run. But I just found a pair of working headphones in my apartment and I was going to be damned if I didn't use them! Plus I have that 5K in a week and a half. I would like to be prepared for it! Look to the right side of the page for the results of my run.

I must say, I need winter gear for running. I didn't think about that when I made my Christmas list so its on me to get it. I need some gloves. But then I thought half way through my run, my hands were sweating. Does anyone know if there are gloves specifically for runners? I had never thought about it. Also, I need something to cover my ears. I know you are thinking a hat may be a wise choice but I don't want it to itch like so many hats do. PLUS, my head gets all sweaty and uncomfortable.

Since the winter months make it so hard for me to get into gear (and so do summer months actually) I'm turning to you for advice. Any motivational tips? Any winter workouts that you turn to when its too chilly to hit the pavement?

The Height of Desperation

Okay, I'm giving you all a moment to laugh at me. I know I started this blog to talk about my sex life but I will admit I am surprisingly prudish about my sex. Some might call if Vanilla. Though after reading some Lora Leigh my fantasies are shockingly explicit. ANYWAY...

A while back I went to a party and won worst dressed (okay, I campaigned for it). The prize? A box full of one time use lubes. I have used lube before with Jim- the flavored variety (not Vanilla though). But these were slightly more exotic. In my world anyway. The box has sat under my cabinet for a few months but...well, I have been curious. I rifled through the pack and became more curious.

Curiosity killed the kitten...

So I popped open a tingling pack. Thinking it might tingle on my finger, I lubed up. No dice. Damnit, I thought to myself. So...and I heave a HUGE sigh admitting this...I lubed up...down there. At first nothing. And then-

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THEIR DEFINITION OF TINGLING? My vagina was on fire.

FIRE.

It was uncomfortable...and kind of pleasant. But mostly uncomfortable because 20 minutes later, it's still hot and uncomfortable. I guess now I know why Jim never brought the lubes out! Perhaps if I had a penis with my lube that would change things but for now, you can take the tingling and have it!

Anyone else been this ridiculous? I'm fairly certain Carrie Bradshaw would have NEVER done this!

Breakfast Choices

Yeah, I don't make time to make a good breakfast but this guy on twitter (follow me @fromfat2fit2009) posted this article. Thought I would pass it along in case someone won the lottery and doesn't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn to get ready for work. Otherwise, stick with that oatmeal.

http://stronglifts.com/breakfast-recipes-fat-loss/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+stronglifts+%28StrongLifts.com+-+Build+Muscle%2C+Lose+Fat+%26+Get+Stronger%29

Race Time

Blah blah blah, I've been MIA. I know. I warned you. I just have not had much to say. Sorry. But not really. Sometimes it is nice to not have to commit to sitting down to blog and just LIVE. Yeah, I said it.

Anyway, I signed up for two races today. I am going to go out on a limb here and say best 40 bucks I've spent. First up, Piedmont Park 5k Fun Run. It apparently happens the 4th Saturday of every month but I think I will just sign up for the one right after Thanksgiving on November 28th. My friend Amy will be running it will me and it will be the definition of fun since neither of us has been doing much running (hey, I've been big on the bike lately!)

Second, the one I am SUPER excited about, the Jingle Jog on December 12th! Everyone brings a Toy for Toys for Tots and runs with jingle bells on their shoes. Marla Goldsmith would die if she knew I was doing this as I made fun of her my freshman year of high school for having bells on her shoes (they mysertiously disappeared and I wish I had thought to steal them!). Anyway, my friend Kelly and I are running it possibly with a few others. Everyone is very festive. Check out the site and let me know if you want to run either race with us!

That's it for me right now. But do tell me about any road races you might be running- ideally, I am hoping to do one a month!

Things I Learned About Myself From Facebook

• There are 1253 pictures of me on facebook. Tagged that is. I'm going to guess at least another 100 where I have detagged or someone didn't know it was me. And I don't know them so I will never fucking know. Damnit.
• I have 1041 facebook friends. That is 212 less friends than tagged photos. That is interesting.
• Currently, my facebook is showing me posts from February of 2007 on my wall. It was very confusing to me because I didn't think a certain person had written on my wall recently. I almost wrote her back before I caught the posted date. Whew. As if people don't think I am ridiculous enough.
• I have 44 photo albums on facebook. I take a lot of pictures. Shall we post the names of my albums? I think we shall...GA/FL 2009, Livin' The Dream, Kick in a Box, I Love My Fam, Home Opener Weekend 2009, My Sister is Utterly Ridiculous, Colin and Claire's Wedding, When We Were Young(er), Drinkin' and Dialin', Team Challenge 2009, God is Great, Beer is Good, People are Crazy, You Asked For It, You Hear That Ed? Bears, Last Night I Got Served A Little Bit Too Much of That Poison Baby, Every Dawg Has Its Day, Check Out This Mothafucka, Oh Fuck It I'm Gonna Throw A Party, Thank God We Parked By The Hyman Or We'd Never Find the Car, I Heart 1995, I Love Jesus But I Like To Drink A Little, I Call This The Walk of Shame Starter Kit, Last Night Doesn't Count Because I Blacked Out, Where Are My Heels? In The Shower!, The Job Hunt, The Night I Passed Out in the Back of Ness' Car, I Want an Oompa Loompa, Too!, Great White, Fist Pump Champs, Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time, Bronx Bombers, My Fam, Swords and Whores, Beatin' The Clock and All That Comes With It, Bikes, Brews and Bennys, Sparky at the Shore, C Dawg's Wedding, The Night I Passed Out in Front of Creswell, Toasting the Night Away to Friends..., A Disposable Camera? How Vintage!, When Life Gives You Lemons, Ask for Tequila and Salt, If You Could Put Dumb in a Shot Glass, Nights I Can't Remember..., With Friend's I'll Never Forget, and The Best of What's Around. Christ. That was like typing gibberish.
• I am friends with 8 of the guys I have slept with on facebook. I believe this is purely so I can see what they are up to and compare notes. Not because I want to be friends with them.
• I am now extremely thankful Target Boy and I broke up. He updates his status continuously with things about Mafia Wars. WTF is that shit? Grow up, douche, you're fucking married.
• I am slightly pissed that my hs boyfriend and I didn't work out. Judging from his pictures, he has a ridiculously HOT body. And he's in Poland coaching basketball. Obviously, the world is his oyster.
• There are two videos of me. That are actually just bands playing live that my friend Michael posted and tagged me in because I was at the concert. So really they don't even count.
• I really hate when people post about politics on my facebook page. Do I look like I give a fuck? Or even really vote? Back off, I don't want to hear a lecture on my blog either, assholes.
• I curse a lot. Not that I needed facebook to figure that out.
• I am exceptionally mean on people's facebook walls. I'm surprised some people are still friends with me.
• THE ex is fat. Hahahahaha. I am too, but so is he!
• A lot of my facebook friends are teachers. That is weird.
• I am in a lot of groups. And many of those groups have to do with drinking. Go Figure.
• 1/2 of the bumper stickers people have sent me have been removed. Those are probably the best ones too.
• I wish my flair was real. Like I owned every one of those damn buttons. Would be so great. Oh damn, I just thought of next year;s Halloween Costume!
• There really isn't much to learn about my facebook since it won't show me anything except 2007 right now. Weird.

Taco Bell Surprises Me!

Okay, so as I have said previously, my new coworker eats junk food every damn day for lunch. I'm low on funds and even lower on food so junk food has a new appeal with dollar menus popping up everywhere. Admittedly, I cannot STAND Taco Bell but I had no time to grab lunch and a few bucks burning a hole in my pocket so when new girl said she was picking up lunch, I threw my money in her direction.

But, of course, I checked their website first. 1. THANK YOU TACO BELL. They provide nutritional information including a section to tally up what you have eaten in your meal. Including condiments. 2. MY FOOD WAS ACTUALLY GOOD. Throw cheese and sour cream on something and I will probably like it.

The biggest surprise? My taco selection was actually not bad for me! I have the nutrition information below. For full Taco Bell nutrition, click here.

I opted for the Fresco Ranchero Chicken Soft Taco:

• 170 Calories
• 4 g fat
• 1.5 g saturated fat
• 25 mg Cholesterol
• 740 mg sodium
• 22 g of carbohydrates
• 2 g dietary fiber
• 12 g of protein

I had 2 (that's DOS in espanol) and added some Fiesta Cheesy Potatoes (admittedly not good for you) and a glass of water for a surprisingly delicious lunch. Made even more so by the fact that it cost less than 5 bucks and I didn't have to make it myself! To me the hardest thing is knowing what to choose when I eat out with friends so I think I am making a good effort at studying the menu and making healthier choices as well as enjoying a few things that aren't so healthy.

So, do you eat out a lot? What types of healthy fast food choices do you make?

MIA

I am so sorry I have been missing in action lately. I am super swamped between work and freelancing and my social life so I have left the blogs empty recently. I am proud to say my weekend in Auburn did not completely do me in; though the one beer limit was not followed. Try 5.

Today I went shopping for groceries on a meager 10 bucks. Sadly I only came away with eggs, lettuce, a gallon of milk, apples and salsa. The essentials to get me to Friday's payday. I know salsa didn't seem like an essential but I need something to snack on! Unfortunately, that impulse buy left me without tomatoes or cheese so tonight's salad was slighly lacking...in calories that is. Granted the tomatoes would have been good but I picked those up in the salsa.

So, if you had ten bucks to burn at the grocery store...what would be your essentials?

Money Making Schemes #1

I am broke. Yup, I have reached a max on both credit cards and Christmas is around the corner. And I make 13 bucks an hour. SHAMBLES. What is a broke 25-year-old to do? Well, I had an idea and told my mom about it. She hung up on me. But after some research she called me back and said, "They'd pay you $6,000?!?!?!?!" Suddenly, the idea didn't seem so bad to her after all.

I'm talking about egg donation here ladies and gentleman. Sperm donors only get a couple hundred bucks (still good by me) but egg donors make BANK. Here is why:

Egg donors are women. Women have a limited number of eggs (several hundred) and to get the eggs, the woman must undergo surgery. That's why women can make several thousand dollars for donating some eggs

I'm sorry, did you just say SEVERAL THOUSAND? Sign me up!

Back up...what are the donor requirements:

1. • You must be a woman in your peak reproductive years, generally considered in the fertility profession to be between 21- 35 years of age (depending on the clinic).
2. You must be healthy, including the appropriate weight for your height. Your family history must be clear of hereditary diseases (such as cystic fibrosis or heart disease), and birth defects.
3. Some infertility clinics prefer that you have already conceived once but this is not an absolute rule.
4. You should be a paragon of low-risk behaviors...not at risk for STDs, not an addict and not an alcoholic.

Interesting concepts you have there buddy. I am in peak period but other than that I do not hit the other three bullet points. Because my life is in shambles. Well, I'm working on getting it out of shambles so this idea goes in the maybe pile. If you can do this now, click here for the So You Wanna site who will overview exactly what this idea entails.

1. • 
     

Have You Lied to a Guy in Bed?

Okay...completely ridiculous question, I know. If you said no, I say you've never been in a guy's bed. Not in the biblical sense, anyway. I'm actually thinking of a specific incident which looking back on I laugh about.

When I was dating The First, we had about six months of sex anytime we could get it. Not very sophisticated, we tended to get it done pretty quickly. While there was a decent amount of foreplay on his part, there was absolutely NONE on my part. Sorry, I just wasn't interested and as luck would have it he was so eager to get it in that it didn't matter. Until it did.

One morning, lying on my twin mattress in my new apt, The First broached the subject of a blow job. I had never offered one and apparently he figured he'd just ask for it or die waiting. He figured right. He just came right out and casually asked me about it. I was so shocked and panicked that I told him I had never given one before. Looking back, this was probably the only acceptable excuse a 20-year-old male would accept. Since he was my first, he didn't really question it. Instead, he shrugged and let it drop. For a while, he slowly poked and prodded and finally I gave in and allowed him to teach me how to give a blowjob. I think it was actually a boost to his ego to be the guy who taught me how to behave in bed so it all worked out in the end.

Now, saying I had never given one was a 1/2 truth. Back in high school, I found out my boy of the moment had hooked up with another girl who I hated while he and I were hooking up. I was inconsolable given the copious amounts of vodka my friend Emily had helped me ingest. There were ten girls at my house and I sat downstairs crying on the phone to him. He finally agreed to let me come over and I snuck out of my house and walked up the street to see him (yes, he was my neighbor. Which is something I will never do again!). I got up to his house and we sat in the back yard and talked. At that moment, I came to the drunken (and extremely misguided) conclusion that in order to keep him, I would have to do more than let him grope me. So I decided it was time to kiss the snake. Unfortunately for me, what was already a tragic and ridiculous situation for me became worse. Unbeknownst to me, he had the basketball team over and they were in his basement watching us. The minute my mouth met his member, his teammates came rushing out to high five him.

You read right: THEY HIGH FIVED HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLOW JOB.

Understandably, the ten second BJ heard round the hood was conveniently forgotten when The First brought the idea up a year later. And that is how a lie was born...

So what have you lied in bed about? Was it worth it? Would you do it again?

Sexual Drought

Okay, so I know I only have 3 readers brave enough to follow me publicly, but the fact is I owe you an apology. I am struggling to write anything sexual as I am in the midst of a sexual drought.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. My last sexual encounter was August 21st, 2009."

What is it about a drought that really makes you HUNGER for sexual contact. The first little bit, you are fine. You don't even think about it. But then...BAM. Suddenly, it's all you think about and you are reading Lora Leigh books and masturbating more than a 16 year old male virgin. I mean seriously. Okay, probably TMI but don't lie. I know you have this issue at times too. Maybe you don't masturbate as much but whatever.

The other thing is, when it is a self-imposed GUYATUS (I coined that word bitches. Don't even try to steal it. For those you not in the know: Guy + Hiatus= Guyatus. A noun meaning a hiatus from all things sexual with guys) it is totally different. Because you are actively avoiding sex. But when it's not, by God you feel like you couldn't get it if you passed it around(even to 16 year old virgins). So apologies for not posting more. I will dig into some archives and try to remember some stellar episodes soon!

So my question is, how long is your longest drought? What do you do to get out of it?

Chocolate Milk Review

I don't know if I have made it evident but I LOVE CHOCOLATE MILK. Annnnd it happens to be a great way to rebuild muscles after a tough workout. I have touted Horizons Chocolate Milk but today I branched out and bought Odwalla Super Protein Chocolate Milk. I HATED it. It smells funny and tastes funkier. I will not be purchasing it again. I took two sips and I am done. Going into the trash. Buuutttt...let's take a look at the nutritional content of each so I can be fair and balanced.

Odwalla Super Protein Chocolate Milk

Calories 170

Total Fat 3.5g
Sodium 240mg
Carbohydrates 24g
Sugars 20g
Protein 10g

Horizon Organic 1 % Chocolate Milk
Calories 170
Total Fat 3g
Sodium 140mg
Carbohydrates 27g

Protein 8g

In summary, they are about even except Odwalla is made with Soymilk. The front claims 18g of protein per bottle which is two servings. It really just is not worth the bad taste when Horizon's has about the same things going for it.

Are Your Co-workers Making You FAT?

Okay, so I generally work in my office by myself or at home (which is a separate minefield) but this week we are training a new girl. Suffice to say, she is entertaining me but she is also making me hunger for things I am trying to avoid. In the past two days her lunches have consisted of Wendy's and Taco Bell. Today she brought in mint chocolate M&Ms. I am dying. I want to go hit her over the head and steal the M&Ms from her and then hide in a corner and devour me. It is driving me crazy listening to her hand reach into the bag. And the more nervous she gets, the more often she pops the damn bag out. This morning, the girl training her, brought in Burger King for breakfast. The smell alone, I would swear, has made me gain 10 lbs. Just the thought of a croissanwhich and cheesy tots made my mouth water and my brain send out a BK signal screaming I must be hungry (despite having just finished off some oatmeal).

At my old job, we would make promos with candy, cookies and brownies. I would manage to avoid eating them unless I was the only one in the office. Sorry to our clients who didn't get promos due to me inhaling the food. And there was always something to celebrate with cupcakes- good days, bad days, new clients, direct hires, birthdays, boss's days...etc. You catch my drift. I was never a cupcake person but now...I crave them constantly. Thanks guys!

I googled this premise and actually found another blog discussing the same question: click here to read. Actually, its about your friends but I think we have already established that I feel and eat fatter around my friends so we can ignore that topic. Also, I tried reading this but this guy is obviously WAY smarter than me and lost me with the word: economics. Here is another great site discussing your JOB making you fat. So basically, if I had a different job with different people in my life I could be skinny. Food for thought...

AM v PM Workout

So I woke up this morning and decided I would do some Pilates to get my day started. I have not decided if I prefer morning or evening workouts yet. I like the way I feel when I work out in the am but find it impossible to get up EVERY day EXTRA early. Plus when I work out in the am I tend to eat better through the day. On the flip side, there is something to be said for a run after dinner so I don't go to bed as full.

I decided to google this shit and see if I could find out if one benefits you more than the other or if I am just crazy!

Reasons I found online pertaining to why morning workouts are better:

1. AM exercisers are more likely to stick with a routine
2. AM exercisers have more energy throughout the day
3. AM exercisers sleep better at night
4. AM exercisers eat better throughout the day
5. AM exercisers burn more body fat throughout the day
6. AM exercisers have a higher metabolism so they burn more calories

Too bad it is so hard to get up in the morning! Tell me, do you prefer AM workouts or PM workouts?

Sexworthy Photo of the Week

I know I need to get over my obsession with a guy who is in a Tween flick but then pictures like this one are released...

And, I can't. I just cannot get over it. Robert Pattinson is delicious and I for one do not care if he ever washes his hair. He is definitely on my bucket list for life! For more outtakes from the shoot, head over to Vanity Fair's Website. I personally will be picking up a copy of the mag the minute it hits newstands. Yummy.

Got a sexworthy photo? Send them our way and we will post them! Email mylittleblackbook11@gmail.com!

Promise

Okay, after an absolutely insane experience in which I gained a solid 7 lbs, I am making a promise to myself. Drinking...it has got to go. I know I won't be able to do the absolutely NO DRINKING promise but I believe giving myself a 1 drink limit should not be too hard. This way, when I am out I can indulge in one margarita and not feel left out because I'm the one not drinking. Of course, there will be special occassions (for example a wedding) but I don't have any big ones upcoming so I should be set with a lower tolerance and more self control by the time the first one I'm in arrives (Jan 1, 2010). Also, since I am broke, this should not be too hard to follow.

So, if you are out with me, and I seem like I'm thinking I might go over that one drink limit- please slap me silly or whatever needs to be done to keep me from over-indulging. I thank you kindly in advance for your help.

While we are on the topic...is there anything you have cut out of your life and seen great results as a...well, result, of doing so? How did you manage?

Hate Week 2

R's response to my Plastered Pick

First of all before I respond, Eric Church just came on. Right when I hit the reply button. "How bout you". I think that is a sign. A sign for what, I have no idea. I'm going to assume it means you're email is spot on, 100% correct.

Second of all, I have a question. I know when it came down to it, you would not do this, but you've got to admit that it might just cross your mind if the Dawgs made the National Championship. It would cross my mind for sure:
http://www.ajc.com/news/woman-charged-with-offering-175986.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm
By the way, the last sentence in that story is f'ing hilarious to me.

Thirdly, i was kind of dragging this morning. Now, due to this email, I am alive. I am ready. Ready for what, I don't know. Probably booze if I had to guess. And now that I think about it, if Ernest came over right now and offered me a beer, i would freakin pound it.

Fourth, your email should be posted somewhere. It pretty much covers it all. From God to Soulja Boy. Finally, I my prediction is very simple. Dawgs 31, Gators 26. That's what popped in my brain while I was typing. So, boom. Geno Atkins breaks Tebow's leg in the 4th quarter. Geno then takes off Timmy's helmet and cleet's him in the face while he lays helpless on the ground. After the game concludes, Richt pretends to go in for the handshake, and then, boom, psyche, b*&ch slaps Meyer in the face followed by a swift kick to his non-professional region. Meyer cries like a baby, and is fired due to his gayness. Tebow never plays again, gets married to an underage Argentinian woman, and lives happily ever after performing circumcisions and being a complete homo.

Hate Week

Okay, so I'm a UGA fan and this week is hate week. Below is an email I sent to my friend R about my thoughts on this weekend's game. Bear in mind I am currently hammered. Like at this moment. And I just hit send so at that moment too. You'd be hammered too if you got in a wreck with a Florida fan!

Okay, so by close of business I meant MY close of business which is...well, damn, I was going to say when I go to bed but that made me think I sounded like something you don't talk about on someone's professional email. Anyway, you catch my drift. After stopping at panda express I went into the kitchen to discover I have about 10 bottles of wine (and one bottle of champagne me thinks will be making a trip to Jacksonville). After a millisecond of contemplation, I thought to myself, why not indulge. It isn't every day you get hit by a car. Okay, in my case that is a lie, but whatever. I can't let 10 bottles of wine just SIT on the counter. That would be sacrilegious. Or something. Also, I have discovered I have a lot of songs on my computer I hate. But that is beside the point. The point is, two bottles down and I'm ready to write you a paragraph (or two apparently). So without further ado (but with some sort of grapefruit-pineapple-rum concoction that I just...concocted) I give you: Erin's Plastered Pick.

Dawgs win by eleventy billion. Okay, that's a lie. They don't but wouldn't it be great to just stomp it down their throats so hard and so many times that they...nevermind, work email. Anyway, I would love a reversal of our 47-7 loss a few years back as payback but what I am thinking will be far sweeter (if more likely to induce a heart attack or coma). I have concluded that the Dawgs will win... 21-17. I know, completely random. My thought here is that our defense will be sufficient but our offense is going to take it to the house. Because, obviously, Bobo has been practicing some screen shit the likes of we haven't seen all season (in the fourth quarter- I figure it will take three quarters to war, up. Okay one touchdown in the first quarter, two in the fourth). Christ I wish Joe Cox and his receivers could have stars align so they had fanfreakingtastic games on the same damn day. Also, I imagine we will for once master the two minute drill in a way that will leave Tim Tebow wishing he could go full time into mission trips or whatever the hell his daddy does. WTF is this home schooling crap? I am so confused by that- it truly boggles the mind that such a tool could be given athletic talent too. He's supposed to be an antisocial geek. And I firmly believe GOD is a UGA fan, not a Tim "the next toolbag prophet" fan. Anyway,I fully support letting them lead the entire f'ing game and then BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I know I would probably denounce them half a dozen times during the game (when will we get this penalty stuff under control?) but I would love to hand the Gators a heart breaking defeat in the last seconds when they have already begun trash talking all over facebook, twitter and whatever social networking sites they frequent (match.com probably). I can just see them now, down for the first time the whole game, they push it down the field but cannot push Tebow over the goal line to break Herschel Walker's record (which is not broken for a variety of reasons- the most important being that they don't even belong in the same sentence let alone stratosphere) so they settle for a field goal figuring a thus far lackluster (with spurts of brilliance) performance by the UGA Offense (can the OLine please get their shit together?). Suddenly, Soulja Boy can be heard (and seen) coming from all areas inside and outside the stadium and 2:00 are on the clock. And FIRE. I predict last second touchdown by either AJ Green or Washaun Ealey (because I have the 24 jersey and that would be pimptastic). The end. Okay, not the end, the end will occur after I imbibe copious amounts of booze and discuss what is lacking in Florida fans anatomy. Ohhh the end is a horrendous hangover and a long drive home to GODS COUNTRY.

How's that for compliant?

Now, you're turn. But sober.

PS. I read and reread this a dozen times and spell checked. If it is f'ed up, don't tell me. I like to pretend I make sense when sober. May the slop be with you.

SO FRUSTRATED!

Okay, first I'm mad at myself for binge eating this weekend. I will discuss this later (suffice to say cheese dip and cookie dough was a bad idea. Not to mention the ice cream fiasco). The reason I am frustrated is nutrition content. What is so damn difficult for restaurants? I want to make good choices and they make it IMPOSSIBLE to do so. I had dinner with my friend Brittany last night and she picked this cute French bistro (which meant calories out the wazoo). I went to their site and, surprise! surprise!, they didn't have their nutritional content on theire page. I figured I would just wing it and enjoy it but after googling what I ate I am more than concerned about the calorie and fat intake! The daily plate is a website that TRIES to help you with this but of course they didn't have the caesar salad or the Turkey Bistro on the list. Okay they had the calorie count of my 1/2 sandwhich but nothing else (which at 500 calories scares the shit out of me! Thank god I did a 3 mile run yesterday. That meal also explains the weight gain from yesterday to today!). Suffice to say, I have written to them requesting the information. I read somewhere that you should make your menu choices before you go to a restaurant to ensure that you make a good decision but every time I try it does not work out for me! Also pissing me off? I had no interest in what they considered their smart choices!

What restaurants have you tried to glean nutritional information from only to be met with a brick wall? Am I the only one who tries to use this information to make healthy decisions prior to eating out?

My Favorites from Texts From Last Night

It's Friday night and I'm sitting at home. What is there to do? Consult Texts from last night...

(360): nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked

(301): I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls <3>

(778): I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy

(715): You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now

(763): Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

(731): can we take a shower together?(901): no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing

(913): he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

(718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right?(917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

(276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

(586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

(480): FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!

(225): were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever

(571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

(416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

(832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

(714): Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

Defeat

I wish I could play kickball every night. With a team that wins. Man, last night should have been our team's victory and we self-imploded in the last inning. What a bummer. Especially knowing that the other team was taking jello shots while I was stone cold sober. I swore I was not going to go out but of course (dear self-discipline, where art thou?) I ended up at Charlie Mopps with the rest of my team. I was STARVING. I think it was 9:30 before I got my food and I went with the cheapest meal on the menu- grilled cheese and french fries. I know, I know.

breakfast Two packs of Lower Sugar Cinnamon Sugar Oatmeal

snack coffee

lunch Cookies 'N'Cream Delight Luna Bar

snack Blue Chips

snack Valencia orange and Crystal Light Immunity

dinner grilled cheese and waffle fries and Miller Lite beer

Points for only drinking one beer right?

Song of the Week

Actually this song is one I consider a must-have for all sexual women and I try to play it at least once a day but for now, it's our Sex Song of the Week! I actually even posted the lyrics in my apt in college if that is any indication on how much I like this song!

"H.W.C" by Liz Phair from the album: Liz Phair

Give it to me, don't give it away
Don't think about what the others say
My skins getting clear, my hairs so bright
All you do is fuck me every day and night
You're my secret beauty routine
Na, na, na, na, what my body has seen
I am lookin' good and I'm feeling nice
Baby you're the best magazine advice

Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum

I'm gonna pull you back down between the sheets
Everything is fresher when the day is sweet
In the morning light when you're already on the phone
Face it, one of these days
Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray
It's the fountain of youth
It's the meaning of life
So hot, so sweet, so wet my appetite

Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum

Face it, one of these days
Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray
It's the fountain of youth
It's the meaning of life
Baby you're the best magazine advice

Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Gimme your hot white cum
Your hot white cum

Game Day Plans

For some reason, looking back on old emails really makes me laugh. So here is another one to demonstrate how absolutely ridiculous we are when trying to determine weekend plans:

From: K
To: E, R, EEW, M
Sent: Sep 3, 2008 09:00:31 AM
Subject: gameday plans?

Whats evayeryones plans for this weekend?? I just found out that I do not have to go to Berry for the XC meet Sat am!! I am free to head to Athens whenever!! Are people staying up there or coming back?? Going to church Sunday?? Maybe some of us could Carpool??

PS- Evan casually mentioned the possibility of taking me to a Braves game Thursday night!! = )

From: E
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 10:11 AM
To: K, R; EEW; M
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

WOOO NO XCOUNTRY! My plans will involve finding Sweet Tea Vodka and ingesting large quantities of it...oh yeah, and the game.

Beyond that I have no idea.

From: R
To: E,K,EEW,M
Sent: Sep 3, 2008 11:04:45 AM
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

R's plans:
1. Wake up
2. Booze
3. Eat/Booze
4. Bumble
5. Dawgs win by 40
6. Booze
7. Mopes
8. Sleep

The only items that are not flexible are Booze and Dawgs. Other than that, I am open for anything. I like to party.

From: E
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 11:10 AM
To: K,EEW,M,R
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

It's called Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka and I will be contacting the National Distributing Company today to find out where they sell it. They distribute for Georgia. It's going to be a blackout weekend if I actually get my hands on this stuff.

Bobs plans sound delicious.

-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Sep 3, 2008 03:41:58 PM
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

Emily’s initials are funny

From: E
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 4:18 PM
To:R
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

I've been hoping she would email us back today with something suitably naive so I could mess with her but she has not responded. I have looked at her email address before and thought it was funny but couldn't figure out why. Now I know.

Katie is really on me to find a place for her and I to stay this weekend. I was planning on winging it but I don't think she liked hearing that...oops.

-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Sep 3, 2008 04:36:37 PM
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

I would be fine with coming back and flopping to a bar here. Last weekend really hurt my life.

From: E
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2008 5:00 PM
To:R
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

Then someone has to drive if we come back.

And oh wait you drive a truck. And you're a sloppy drunk.

K is driving a truck.

So that leaves me with my cavalier...and I'm a sloppy drunk.

That, to me, spells DISASTER. BUT I could probably keep myself from getting sloppy so long as if we flopped at a bar here we got a cab and THEN I could get sloppy.

-----Original Message-----
From: R
To: E
Sent: Sep 3, 2008 05:09:17 PM
Subject: RE: gameday plans?

I don’t care. C invited me with his ticket, so I would assume he will be with R. Also, I drive a Ford Explorer for a few days til the Silver Bullet is fixed in the shop. No need to make plans in my humble opinion.

Now, you are probably wondering what we actually ended up doing. Well, we rode in R's Ford Explorer to Athens the day of the game. Then K and I disappeared to visit boy of the moment and got nasty phone calls from R. Then R and I disappeared and went to hang out with his friends and former employees (shortly after the email exchange R was fired- I refuse to believe this is a result of our less than professional emails). Then R and I went to the game and got hammered. Then we went to a bar (took shots and drank tons of beer) and got nasty messages from C who was ready to go home. Of course, R was too drunk to drive us home so C drove R's car to C's apt while K and I rode in boy of the moments truck. An hour after we got back to K's, R rolled up in the Explorer with Arby's and proceeded to listen to Garth Brooks and sink into depression over his recent firing. I actually had to drunkenly console him and convince him to come inside and have another beer. Aren't you impressed I remember this?

Forgot Yesterday

Let's just call the day a wash. I worked and then had to head to Conyers for a visitation (my friend's grandmother passed away) and by the time I was heading back I was in no mood to cook or even eat anything in my apt. After stopping at Wendy's, I headed home to watch Greek (my new obsession) on DVD. I did throw some crunches and pushups in after inhaling my Wendy's but not enough to call it a workout. Still, every bit of activity counts, right?

Yesterday's food log:

breakfast Mint Chocolate Cliff Bar, apple

snack Butterscotch snack pack ( i know, they are terrible- I have two left and then never again!)

lunch roasted red pepper hummus with feta cheese and mini pitas

dinner Wendy's Crispy Chicken Sandwich and value french fries

I am still utilizing the fitday.com website and loving it. I also looked up the percentage of carbs,fat and protein you should have in your day and am aiming to meet that but I am failing so far. Let me know if you have any suggestions for high protein, low carb meals and snacks!

%of carbs recommended: 40-45 Actual carbs eaten yesterday: 53%
%of fat recommended: 30-35 Actual fat eaten yesterday: 32%
%of protein recommended: 25-30 Actual protein eaten yesterday: 15%

My Life is Not Complete Shambles

On Friday, I went to my bank (Fifth Third Bank- check it) and sat down with a banking professional (aka my best friend Ryan) to discuss the status of my finances. He sold me on a promo for identity alert (9.95 a month) which pulls credit reports and monitors my credit cards. I was rather shocked at my credit scores. Granted they are not great but they are much higher than they were a year ago. In the interest of full disclosure:

Experian : 636

Equifax: 661

Transunion: 682

Basically- factors going against me are that I am too close to my credit limits (which I am no longer using my cards) and that I had a card closed in 2006 and late payments up until April of 2008. According to my banker, this should roll off in the next 6 months and my credit score will improve significantly. WIN! I am actually getting my life together. Which kind of scares me.

DVD Review!

I had planned on going for a run but an afternoon nap trumped it leaving it cooler and darker than I was hoping. I love night runs- just not during the winter! So I popped in a DVD and thought I would review it for you here!

Today I opted to do 10 Minute Solution Hot Body Boot Camp. I picked this up from Target but if you click the link you can order it from Amazon as well. This DVD is awesome simply because it breaks everything into 10 minute segments so you can customize a workout. There are 5 10 minute sections:

1. Hot Body Cardio


2. Ab Assault


3. Rock Bottom Sculpt


4. Calorie Blasting Drills


5. Better Body Stretch

It is hosted by Amy Bento who is upbeat without being saccharine sweet. She encourages without acting like you're biggest cheerleader. And I struggled to keep up. Meaning I can do this video more than once without losing the benefits. I figure I can do it a couple times a week for a month and then be up to her speed and drop to doing it once a week. Today I did the first four, I am not big into stretching and she uses a band that I don't have. I tried it once with a bath towel but it was too much fabric. I also like that if I am pressed for time, I can opt to do just one of the sections. Overall, I'm glad I spent the money. We'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow because I am still a little sore and I just finished!

Today's food diary:

breakfast Cliff bar

snack banana

lunch pasta with cheese sauce

snack peanut butter and crackers

dinner romaine lettuce salad with chicken, tomato, cucumber, egg and feta cheese with italian dressing

Also, I am looking into Zumba classes. I mentioned earlier I was interested in picking up a class a few times a month and my Aunt Nora and family friend Sarah are instructors in NJ. I've taken the class once in NJ and I struggled but it seems like fun. Dancing is not my strong suit but it would be something different. There is one at a YMCA near me so I am going to give them a call and see how much it costs!

My So-Called Sex Life

So today I was bumming around the apt and decided to pop in some My So-Called Life. God, what a GREAT show. I actually cut my hair in 5th grade after watching the first episode where Angela Chase dyes her hair red. My mom stopped short of allowing me to dye it but pairing the new haircut with the combat boots and cotton dresses made me feel infinitely cooler. So angsty. I desperately wanted to be Angela. Of course, looking back that poor girl was a MESS. Was there anyone who was ever more torn up about life in general?

Anyway, check out episode 13, Pressure, for a great reminder of high school sexual activity. I, personally, didn't ever really consider sex with anyone during high school but I imagine if I did this episode would sum it up. Or maybe I am just wishing I could have that moment with Jordan Catalano (who I still secretly fantastize about). Either way, Angela Chase's emotional turmoil and subsequent break up with Jordan is so classic and right that it is a must watch for anyone considering sex. Plus, I'd love to watch the sex video Angela and Sharon procure from Sharon's parents. I imagine this is what it was like for a lot of people trying to make the sex decision.

Check the episode out here and then tell us your thoughts. Did you have an awkward sex talk with friends? Or your boyfriend? We'd love to hear it!

Thoughts on Yoga

My friend Ellen has another great post on her blog. It pretty much sums up why I hve never taken a yoga class. I could use tips though because I hear it is a great workout and I am game for trying anything new.

Also, I am interested in a place that just has classes- I don't want to join a gym persay but a place where I could drop in a couple times a month and py like 5 bucks to take boot camp or zumba or pilates or even yoga. Anyone know of any places?

Sex test

So, maybe I am alone in this, but I tend to drink a lot and then have sex...and then wake up and have no memory of anything from the night before. This is something I am hoping to grow out of soon. But in those instances where I fall of the wagon and wind up wondering on a morning after if I have had sex I have devised a test...

1. Where Am I?
2. Who Am I With (if anyone...)?
3. Am I Naked?
4. Is He Naked?
5. Does My Vagina Hurt?

Have you ever had blackout sex? Do you have a way to figure out if it has occurred? Email your stories to mylittleblackbook11@gmail.com!

Do I have to cut myself off?

So after this weekend I am wondering if I just have to end all fun times and weekend shenanigans in order to make this whole weightloss thing occur. I mean last week I was up to losing 6 lbs and this morning (after a weekend wedding) I had gained those 6 lbs back. WTF. I just don't know how to say no I guess. So I'm thinking I may have to quit fun times unless I can find a babysitter to monitor my food and beverage intake.

breakfast Multigrain cheerios with skim milk

lunch cliff bar

snack peanut butter and wheat thins

snack banana

dinner romain lettuce with grilled shrimp, tomato, cucumber, feta cheese, italian dressing and eggs

desert Polka Dot Reisling

Also making me feel bad- looking at pictures from the weekend. I FEEL like I LOOK fat. I can see double chins and flabby arms. UGH...

On that vein, I will say I did have some happy pictures this weekend- a surprise for my mom from my brother, sister and I. I don't generally toot someone else's horn but you have to see the pictures my friend Jess takes- click here to see them. She is absolutely incredible. If you are in the Atlanta area and need family photos, engagement or wedding pictures or anything else DEFEINITELY call her. She really pays attention to you and asks your opinions and thoughts during the shoot so you get really personalized shots :) I will be using her again in the future for sure!

I've lost SIX lbs!

So my highest weight in September was 168.6. I am currently weighing in at 161.4!I am very excited about this and even though you didn't ask I will tell you how I did it: Watched what I ate and worked out LESS. I know it sounds crazy but the fact is it worked! Yesterday's food diary:

breakfast coffee and YoCrunch

snack banana

lunch Luna bar

snack hummus with feta cheese and roasted red peppers and pita bread

dinner one crab cake with a side of 4 cheese rice

workout 30 minutes on the bike

So, now that we are on a downward trend- I need more advice! What are some of your weight loss tips? Any great workouts you've tried and want to share?