No sex: Day 4

New blogger here on Little Black Book!  I'm Allyson and since Erin is my best friend I had no problem agreeing to write this when I shared the details with her this morning.  Basic info you'll need for this post.  I'm in a relationship and currently living with boyfriend of four years. 

Valentines Day has now come and gone.  I'm hoping that everyone fully enjoyed their day and keeping with the theme of this blog- GOT LAID!

Yesterday I returned from a trip with my boyfriend from Dallas, Tx for the 2010 All Star Game.  We flew out there Thursday morning and returned yesterday evening.  Between the time of our five day, four night stay in Texas I only had sex ONE TIME.  It wasn't even on Valentines Day.  Neither of us were sick or too drunk to make it happen.  At least if someone were too drunk that could have made for another interesting story.  I'm sure this doesn't seem like that big of a deal but it's becoming a pattern.  I don't know what to do!  Don't think I haven't made it known.  I'm pretty sure "Let's have sex" or "Let's get naked" is straight to the point.  Take off your clothes!  Just take off your pants...shit, just lay down and let me handle it!  Erin believes that he has gotten comfortable in the relationship.  Granted we have been together for a long time but doesn't the sex leave when marriage and babies get in the picture?  

There are only so many times that I can masturbate before it just isn't enough anymore!  It helps me sleep but it doesn't fill that need.  I don't even have to get up and leave the room.  He's a sound sleeper and I've taken care of myself right there in bed.  I don't know if I have a quiet one, but I've used a silver bullet right there next to him.  Moment of silence for that toy.  Damn cord broke.   It's getting to be really tough.  Especially on those days when it's late at night and I can't fall asleep.  Do you know what comes on late at night on HBO?  Real Sex.  Thank you HBO.  Thank you for showing me all these ugly people with small penises and saggy boobs getting ass.  At least the last episode was a little educational.  It was a sex recession show and you could learn how to make a budget friendly sex toy.  That is information for a different post on a different day.

Last night we read.  Isn't that sweet?  FUCK SWEET!  I don't live in a damn Nicholas Sparks book.  Well, he had his book and I had Club Dead, Book 3 of the Sookie Stackhouse series.  True Blood #3 for those of you who don't know.  Have you watched True Blood on HBO?   Scroll down to the Sex Dream post and look at that picture.  Those ass holes are who I see in my head as I read this book.  There is sex all over this book and I can't get any.  IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT!

I'm going to keep a tab on how long this shit lasts.  I counted back for the month of February and it's not looking good.

Just Say Me

If you want to believe that adolescents have very adult problems then you should be watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Tune in on Mondays on ABC and watch as 15-18 year old children very calmly and rationally discuss the ins and outs of sex. I won't lie, I'm addicted and subscribe to Hulu just to watch it so no judgment here. And don't worry, the parents are just as fucked up as the kids.

Anyway, the reason I'm advocating this show is because today while I was watching/listening while working from home I heard a lovely campaign that I just had to share with you! It's called Just Say Me. Some back story: This girl Grace is VERY religious. Almost to the point of being annoying but not quite. Just teetering on the line and the reason is she struggles constantly with maintaining her sexual safety in the eyes of God. She has had sex BUT she has now found... MASTURBATION and in this clip she shares it with her girls in the high school hallway between classes while their guys try to figure out what the hell is going on. Tune in at about the 8:37 mark to hear her campaign for self lovin.

Sexual Drought

Okay, so I know I only have 3 readers brave enough to follow me publicly, but the fact is I owe you an apology. I am struggling to write anything sexual as I am in the midst of a sexual drought.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. My last sexual encounter was August 21st, 2009."

What is it about a drought that really makes you HUNGER for sexual contact. The first little bit, you are fine. You don't even think about it. But then...BAM. Suddenly, it's all you think about and you are reading Lora Leigh books and masturbating more than a 16 year old male virgin. I mean seriously. Okay, probably TMI but don't lie. I know you have this issue at times too. Maybe you don't masturbate as much but whatever.

The other thing is, when it is a self-imposed GUYATUS (I coined that word bitches. Don't even try to steal it. For those you not in the know: Guy + Hiatus= Guyatus. A noun meaning a hiatus from all things sexual with guys) it is totally different. Because you are actively avoiding sex. But when it's not, by God you feel like you couldn't get it if you passed it around(even to 16 year old virgins). So apologies for not posting more. I will dig into some archives and try to remember some stellar episodes soon!

So my question is, how long is your longest drought? What do you do to get out of it?