It's Friday night and I'm sitting at home. What is there to do? Consult Texts from last night...
(360): nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
(301): I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls <3>
(778): I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
(715): You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
(763): Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
(731): can we take a shower together?(901): no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
(913): he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
(718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right?(917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
(276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
(586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
(480): FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
(225): were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
(571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
(416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
(832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
(714): Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
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