first time for everything...
I was a freshman in college. Ughhh. I had just started dating The First which meant having sex on the regular at any time we could squeeze it in- you know how that goes. I started not feeling too well a month or two into our relationship. I was tired all the time and felt sick to my stomach constantly. One night I even passed out on my way to the bathroom. After that occurred I crawled into my loft and just thought about dying. The First came by to visit and crawled into the loft with me. It was nice to have someone cuddle with me and rub my back but as I told him what was wrong I could see him growing pale. Suddenly the loft was too hot and he was too close.
"I think you might be pregnant."
Oh shit, shit, shit. Of course this would happen right before my first gyno appointment. I know we should have been more careful since I wasn't on birth control at the time but we were 19 and horny and crazy. The worst part about the entire ordeal was that he whipped out his cell phone and called HIS MOM! His mom. Who I had never met. I was mortified but she was a nurse so it made sense to call her. I sure as shit was NOT calling my mom!
His mom did not say a damn thing to make me feel better. In fact, the longer we stayed on the phone with her the more convinced I was that I was pregnant and my life was over. I got so upset that the minute The First hung the phone up I kicked him out of the room. All night he imed me and called my cell trying to check on me. I refused to answer (like by not talking to him this would magically go away).
The next day, I floated through classes. I barely ate. I wore jeans and a huge sweatshirt even though it was a warm spring day. When my roommate disappeared for a few hours, I cried. When The First knocked on the door (okay pounded) for 10 mintes, I pretended I wasn't there. Anything not to face the fact that there was a bun in my oven. Eventually, I sat down in front of my lap top and began working on homework. A friend of mine ended up iming me randomly from upstairs in my dorm and I just let her know exactly what I was going through. She told me to come upstairs IMMEDIATELY. When I got there she had a pregnancy test and a shoulder to lean on. I couldn't get over my embarrassment so I stuffed the test in my pocket and ran back down to my room.
Eventually I took the test. I will never forget sitting in the community bathroom in a stall just waiting. Counting the minutes between the time I peed and the time it said I should know. Praying that I was not a complete idiot. I screamed bloody murder when the test came back positive- scaring half the dorm into coming to check on me. How does one explain the relief of not being pregnant? I ran back to my room and typed the words to my friend and then just sat there with a grin on my face.
Of course, being a girl I let The First sweat it out before finally telling him the next day that we were not going to be parents at the tender age of 19.
Tell me about your pregnancy scares or test experiences! Email your stories to mylittleblackbook11@gmail.com!
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