The Height of Desperation

Okay, I'm giving you all a moment to laugh at me. I know I started this blog to talk about my sex life but I will admit I am surprisingly prudish about my sex. Some might call if Vanilla. Though after reading some Lora Leigh my fantasies are shockingly explicit. ANYWAY...

A while back I went to a party and won worst dressed (okay, I campaigned for it). The prize? A box full of one time use lubes. I have used lube before with Jim- the flavored variety (not Vanilla though). But these were slightly more exotic. In my world anyway. The box has sat under my cabinet for a few months but...well, I have been curious. I rifled through the pack and became more curious.

Curiosity killed the kitten...

So I popped open a tingling pack. Thinking it might tingle on my finger, I lubed up. No dice. Damnit, I thought to myself. So...and I heave a HUGE sigh admitting this...I lubed up...down there. At first nothing. And then-

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THEIR DEFINITION OF TINGLING? My vagina was on fire.

FIRE.

It was uncomfortable...and kind of pleasant. But mostly uncomfortable because 20 minutes later, it's still hot and uncomfortable. I guess now I know why Jim never brought the lubes out! Perhaps if I had a penis with my lube that would change things but for now, you can take the tingling and have it!

Anyone else been this ridiculous? I'm fairly certain Carrie Bradshaw would have NEVER done this!