Random Thoughts on a Tuesday

• Ummm someone I know got arrested. And it's on TV. And it's for a violent crime. I cannot stop googling this shit. I want to know everything. Does that make me a horrible person?
• I like how if I click two or three songs in a row that I dislike, Pandora is like Fuck the songs she hasn't listened to yet, I'm going to throw one in she already clicked a thumbs up for. Sound logic except this station is only playing the same 10 songs. I'm sick of them and now having to give them all thumbs down. Damn you Pandora.
• Also, Pandora, I don't like Miley Cyrus. I don't know how much she pays you to randomly insert her shit into my stations but kindly tell her to shove it.
• The holidays make me want to not work at all. Obviously.
• I just got asked out over the internet. But not on a dating website. Does this still make me pathetic? Just in case, I told him I have to check my schedule until I get a good idea of what you people think.
• Why is it easier for guys to lose weight? I mean they already don't have a period so why should they be able to shed pounds easier? It's not like they are good for anything as it is. So far, God, you have really messed this shit up. I absolutely do not need a man for anything anymore.
• I sure as shit hope all these loud noises mean that my fucking neighbors are moving AWAY. For good. Forever. I hate every one of them. Damn elephants. Also the one across the hall is a prostitute. That is the only conclusion for having 10 guys living there with her in a one bedroom apt. No, they are not Mexican in case you were going to ask.
• Just looked out the window. She is definitely moving. God forbid she get boxes though. Everything is in trash bags. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever watched.
• Does anyone else make fun of their friends on a regular basis? Or am I just THAT BITCH.
• Seriously, Jon Lajoie, you need to call me. I'm lonely, you're hot and I think we could be good together. I will even overlook the fact that you are Canadien. What's that all aboot?
• Ryan Reynolds is Canadien too. Maybe I should just move there and meet a man.
• Does anything shock anybody anymore?
• Why do people get so offended when you ask for money for Christmas? I mean, it's a useful gift. I actually NEED money. What is so wrong about being honest about what I want?
• Besides, if I tell you why I want the money you might get offended. Or buy the wrong thing. Then I would just have to return it for the MONEY. And in today's society you probably forgot a gift receipt so I just get store credit. To a store not in my state. Or that I hate.
• WTF is Gavin DeGraw up to these days? I mean One Tree Hill doesn't even have opening credits anymore. I know he guested one time last season. But where is he now? Doing drugs? Wooing hoes? Inquiring minds want to know.
• Why at almost 26 years of age am I breaking out like a damn 13 year old? And just like my 13 year old self, I'm picking at them too. Because it's not bad enough having mountains on your face, you want them to be volcanoes and spew blood on your face too.
• After reading "Until Proven Innocent", about the Duke Lacrosse case I really have to wonder why they hell I wanted to get into journalism. I used to want to double major in criminal justice and journalism so I could cover a crime beat. Because the shit fascinates me. But who knew that as a journalist I would be almost required to ignore facts in order to be published?
• The guy under me has a small child. I'm not sure what that small child does, but his father ROCKS out. At 5 pm every day, the music starts blasting. It sounds like techno down there. I like to imagine them eating "candy" and playing with glowsticks.
• Jason Mraz does not appreciate the rave going on below me. He is getting angry.
• Everyone should have an alcoholic in their life to remind them why drinking is bad. And why your life is better than theirs. I do not recommend spending too much time with them though. That could have a negative effect.
• I feel sexy in my Nike tempo running shorts. I just feel like Damn my legs look good. Then someone takes a picture and I'm like ew! kill me now.
• Seriously does every techno song sound the same or is this asshole listening to the same song on repeat?
• I refuse to buy groceries this month. I will not use them so what is the point. Fast Food Nation bitches!
• I don't think anyone has an imagination like mine. Why do I not write this shit down?
• When you meet someone do you immediately wonder what your parents will think of them? Is it weird that I do?
• What am I doing with my life? I don't have an answer so I thought I would ask you. Perhaps someone else can get my shit together for me. I could come up with a wish list and they could help me make it happen. For free. Pro Bono. Cause I'm broke.
• Does anyone else get pissed when someone doesn't answer an email. It makes me angry! ROAR!
• Can someone please explain to me how dating works? It's been a while and I'm kind of nervous.
• I signed up for another 1/2 marathon. WTF am I thinking?
• I mentioned turning temporarily anorexic to my mom. She told me to go for it if I thought I could do it. She knows me too well. Self control and discipline are not my strong suits. I swear to god if someone responds to me to tell me anorexia is not a joke I will flip. I know. I know. I know. Don't waste my time and your typing skills.
• Dear Jon Lajoie, I'm sorry I am creeping you out. Love, me. Maybe I should delete the comma to be extra creepy. Love me. Love me. Love me. Ohhhhh it is creepy.
• I think I am vastly underappreciated...by myself especially.