Dating Backwards

So a friend of mine was propositioned on the website plentyoffish.com the other day and when I say propositioned I mean propositioned. The guy admitted straight off the bat that he was looking for someone to sleep with first, possibly date later. Then admitted he grows bored with people. Not exactly a prime candidate for a long-lasting, monogamous relationship.

However, this began a post on her blog that lead to a discussion of dating backwards. Okay, discussion might be exaggerating but it got the wheels in my own head turning. In analyzing my past relationships, I realized that aside from high school, all my relationships have begun in the dating backwards fashion. Fuck, date, break up seems to be a pretty consistent cycle I’ve been trapped in. And for those of you about to say I have low self-esteem which leads to me behaving in this fashion, save it. I know. But it’s only part of the reason. The other 80% of the reason I do it this way is because I get drunk, make a terrible decision (but it’s a fun one!) and then fall into doing it repeatedly. And a relationship is born. Not the smoothest transition, I’ll admit. But also not one I’ve been in too much of a hurry to change. I refuse to feel bad about my decisions, instead I’d like to look back on them fondly and possibly learn something in my own good time. So save your lectures for someone who cares to hear them.

Probably the worst case of this occurrence would involve my friend and former WHATEVER, Ryan. You see Ryan and I somehow managed to attend the same school and same social functions for years and not interact AT ALL. Fast Forward a solid 6 years later and we’re at a trivia night with a mutual friend just pounding drinks. Mind you it is a Wednesday night. We both have work in the morning. Our friends are teachers and on Christmas break so they have no problem getting hammered. We don’t either.

The mutual friend invites everyone back to her house where we start playing beer pong and just generally being drunken idiots. Somehow, Ryan and I end up being the last awake and we just keep going until about 4 am. Then we’re like, damn, we need to sober up so we can head home and get ready for work (mind you I was living with my rents at this point, who had no idea where the fuck I was). We head into the house to try to locate a couch to crash on and find them all taken. Everyone, including our mutual friend but minus her roommate, is passed out in various positions around the living room. Drunk as we are, we think we might as well take the mutual friends room for a quick nap. Nap might have been my thought but it definitely was not his...

Before I know it, we are having sex in our mutual friend’s bed. For what feels like forever. When it finally ends, I’m up and throwing on my clothes. For a couple of reasons:
1. I just met this guy and at 24 I know better than this
2. I realized I was having sex without a condom or birth control so plan b needed to happen asap (as well as a drs appt.)
3. I am horrified (haha which contains the word HO) that I am sleeping with someone in my friend’s bed. How fucking rude am I?

Of course he immediately follows suit and then walks me out to my car. Gets my number and a whatever is born. Did it last? No. Was it the best relationship I’ve had? Actually, even with the fights and the never knowing our status, yes. Would I do it again if I had a chance to go back? 99% sure. If you could guarantee me things would work out, 100%.

More on my thoughts on dating backwards will be revealed at a later date…