So, I was going through my toybox (yes, I said toybox. I'm 26 years-old and keep a toy box in my bedroom) and found a notebook from when I was in Jersey. Apparently, I really needed to work through this Penis Nano issue and thought it might be nice to write it all down. Little did I know how entertaining it would be years later to read about it. So, here it is, unfiltered, straight from the time it occurred....my recollections of Penis Nano.
How could you be 6'3" and have SUCH A CRAPPY PENIS? I mean honestly. His parents must have really pissed God off for him to end up with the short end of the stick. I mean, COME ON! He's pretty much perfect except that I can't hardly feel him banging around in there. Maybe he was hit in the privates oo many times as a child baseball prodigy...
And does he realize how small his dick is? And if so, what's he doing going around fucking girls for? Why is he disappointing all these girls?
OH GOD. What must it feel like for him to stick his lipstick tube of a penis in a vagina? I imagine my vagina must feel a little loose (though I must admit its nice not to feel excruiating pain when he shoves it in so he has that going for him). What if he's not small?!?!?! What if I have a big cave for a vagina? A gaping black hole?
No. No. No.
Otherwise EVERY other guy I've fucked has had penises in the 99th percentile cause it always hurts at first. Oh. My. God. What if they've all stretched me out and now it'll never been good for me or the guy!?!?!?! Then I'll have to take advantage of drunks like him for the rest of my life!
2 comments:
Entertaining post! Great that you wrote it all down after the fact and hope that you haven't been with a Penis Nano since then :).
Not that penis nano...no. I finally stopped trying that lemonade ;)
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