I Am NOT a Catcher...and Other Lessons Learned on the Softball Field

• I am NOT a catcher. Seriously, the view from home plate is completely different than the view from anywhere else in the field. Add the crouched position to the mix. Plus, a bat swinging perilously close to your head and you've got some issues. The bat itself distracted me from the ball flying in my direction. I think I caught 4 out of like 50 pitches. No joke. The ump was the catcher for the game. I am not meant to be a catcher. James, are you reading this? I AM NOT MEANT TO BE A CATCHER.
• I miss softball. A lot. I played all through elementary school and was pretty good. It was slow pitch and I made all-stars every year. Not that the Lucky Shoals All-Stars ever made it very far in tournament play. I grew up in my early years in a transient area. In high school I made the switch to fast pitch softball when I switched schools. I only made the team because I was great at base running. I spent the majority of my time pinch running for the catcher and playing right field (while wearing Paul O'Neil's #21). I quit because I hated the Varsity coach. Two days later, he quit too. Prick.
• I need to go to a batting cage. For serious. It's been 5 long years since intramurals in college and it shows. I swing at every fucking pitch. I was less than pleased to learn I start the count with a strike already. What is that bull shit?
• I need to break in my glove. Which I will google shortly. It has been so long since I broke one in, I don't even know what to do.
• Softball would be better with beer. No one else on the team was drinking though so I guess it's solo drinking or no drinking. Booooo.
• I need to purchase cleats. I was the only one in tennis shoes. Which was weird because every one of my friend Ryan's games that I attend, they were tennis shoes. And these are former baseball players playing in a men's league.
• My coach is not as smart about baserunning as I am. Next time, I need to listen to myself.
• I need to warm up more than I did when I was younger. Fuck my shoulder hurts from throwing.
• I cannot catch crouching down. This catching thing has me completely bummed. It's the only position on the field that I absolutely SUCK at. I will become better. I WILL.