Twitter Tuesday

I have been scouring the internet for people whose lives are in more shambles than my own(or at least equal to). However, I stumbled upon someone who is either delusional or very positive in that she considers her irresponsibility awesome. Since she lives in San Fran, it might be time for me to relocate. Damn, they are so much more accepting of everything. @ladymisskate has this to say in her bio: We all have ways of coping. I use sex and awesomeness. Amen, sister.

• BOOM
• I’d hate to be one of those people who drinks irresponsibly just because it’s St. Patrick’s Day, so I drink irresponsibly all year long.
• I would tell facebook to go fuck itself, but its probably already reading my mind without my permission.
• Plan is to down a beer for each run the @sfgiants score at Petco Park today, so if recent events are any indication, I’ll be horribly sober.
• Forgot to tell you guys, I had my first Dodger Dog on Sunday. Tasted like billshit & silicone so I guess they make them out of Heidi Montag.
• This whale’s vagina looks a lot like San Diego.
• The best part of road trips are the fruit stands along the way, and by fruit stands I mean anonymous truck stop sex.
• Bad songs are like bad boys. I am doomed to repeat them.
• If I have to blow my nose one more time, I’m gonna start to feel like it owes me dinner.
• My latest attempts at humor have been decidedly pathetic and mediocre. This must be what it feels like to be Jay Leno.
• If it weren’t for Foursquare I’d have no idea which bars I embarrassed myself at last night.
• Go Go Gadget Give a Fuck!
  
  *** I swear on all that is holy if this bitch dumps Twitter like Jesus and Pusswhateverthefuckhername was, I will give up. And probably kick a puppy. You’ve been warned.
  *** Anyone who tweets BOOM is automatically featured in Twitter Tuesday
  *** I shall commence using her last tweet everyday when my attention starts to slide (much like my use of Jumper and scchhhhhhoooop. Which doesn’t work but I continue to try. One day, I will teleport)