Mondays Musings (not by Berryfine)

Since Berryfine is out in Vegas I have decided to take on the task of her infamous Monday's Musings. I think she is like in LA somewhere now or she is still sitting at a slot machine. Where ever the hell she is tops where I am right now (and probably where you are too). It may not be as entertaining, but it can and may be just as angry. You see, Berryfine and I may be two different people but we both have attitude problems, cannot stand retarded people, have a very low patience level and get worked up over things pretty easily. So with that introduction let me begin.

• My car CD player is dysfunctional. Disc 1 plays smoothly and great. Disc 3 and 6, not so much. I have not yet tried out 2,4,or 5 so I will report back.
• Why is it that slow people must drive in the left hand lane. I want to get out of my car at red lights, knock on their window, and ask them why they believe they belong in the fast lane. 40 in a 45 is not what I call FAST.
• You're 28 years old yet you cannot chew with your mouth closed and you smack your food. You're southern. How did your Mama not smack you around for eating like a total pig? How did she not teach you some manners? I find it revolting.
• I hate when things just fall in people's laps. Why can't I have that sort of luck. No I have to work hard and stress all the time to just maybe do well. It is a crock of shit if you ask me. Even worse: then they're praised as "awesome" ... I call them lucky. Sheer luck.
• How is it already 12:30 PM? Where the hell did the day go.
• Berryfine is in Vegas drinking, gambling, and laying by the pool. She is a bitch for it. Yes Berryfine I did just call you a bitch on your own blog. What now?
• Ricky Martin came out of the closet today. He admitted he is a gay man. I am cool with it. I will always love Livin' Da Vida Loca.
• I took my dog to the vet this past weekend and it cost me $236 and some change to get him up to date on his shots - that seems like robbery. I am never having kids.
• Speaking of never having kids. It is true. This chick I follow on Twitter was in labor for 20 hours, broke her tailbone, and then had to have a C-Section. Fuck That.
• A note to moms everywhere. I think it is okay to post pics of your kids on facebook ... but if they're ugly, limit the uploading of pictures please. Also, I do not care about their fever, their vomiting, or their diarrhea. No, I do not have a quick fix for your 2 year old's pesky cough or how to make the newborn quit crying through the night. You signed up for ALL THAT when you opened your legs and said ohh I want a child.
• I am in a helluva mood today - I feel like everyone should watch out and I should just close my office door.
• I have a weird obsession with teenie bopper music. I was jamming out to Justin Beiber this morning and then realized I was singing "Shawty is an Eenie Meenie Minee Mo Lova" -- kill me now. Awful. Catchy. But Awful.
• I use the birthday reminder on Facebook to defriend people. ...I have been meaning to do it, you just reminded me on your day.oh.birth. :o)
• I hate when I defriend someone and they call me out for it. Why can't they just take a hint. Most importantly, why do they care? We have not spoken since your wedding, since graduation, since college. If I want you to know what is going on in my life I will BBM or text you.
• Why can't you understand "I do not give a fuck if it does not pertain to me"? I feel like that is pretty clear English.
• Serious Question: If the government cannot run the post office how are they supposed to run healthcare?
• I just love doing other people's jobs and not doing mine. I also love making other people their to do list for the day. What is wrong with this picture?
• Upside, Inside Out - Livin Da Vida Loca
• There is a guy in our office currently who talks so fucking loudly that I can hear him word for word. He is in the conference room, there is a kitchen between us, and I can still hear him. Really? Must you talk so loud?! ...15 minutes later, he is still talking or should I call it screaming.
• Sometimes when I think about Northern VA I die inside. Other times the fact that I am moving back cannot come soon enough.
• My boyfriend hangs up his gym clothes. The teeshirt and the work out shorts on one hanger. He says he has to coordinate or some of the shirts are too small. I do not really know, it is just weird to me.
• I want to make a facebook group in which all I do is call people out on their dumb looking facebook pictures. Example 1 is here
• Everyone go to the store and pick up a Sunchips Bag. You don't have to buy it. Just listen to it. It sounds AWFUL. Like tinfoil. Nothing like crunch crunch as you try to sneak chips.
• My boyfriend and I decided this weekend we would always have beer in our house. It is like my "I hate the world" medicine.
• I need some sunshine in my life.
• I am not in the mood to work today.
• On my run today I spotted my dream wedding dress. Now, Kyle just needs to pop the damn question. I say yes already.
• I am embarrassed for every person on the Tool Academy, but I thank them for the mindless entertainment.
• Courtesy of Texts From Last Night - made me think of Berryfine while in Vegas .... (907) I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
• My coworker's husband calls her like 10 times per day. She answers every single time. I swear she would be more productive if she didn't talk to him EVERY TIME he calls. Plus, doesn't he have a job? Why does he call so much. If Kyle wanted to talk to me that much, I would kill myself.
• I went to REI this weekend to spend my dividend *wahoo for free money* and found myself judging people. I am going to leave it at that, because it is real bitchy and I will be hated if I say it.
• Why does everyone think that I can find them a job?! Better yet - why do people think I want to find them a job?!
• Dailymile just told me I had an "awesome" training week. They lie. Awesome is not 3.15 miles - that is pathetic. Just be truthful Dailymile.
• I am pretty sure this whole blog entry breaches my company's social media policy. Whoops?
• The lights in the bathroom on my floor can and will cause a seizure. Promise it. I will blog about it when it happens.
• I think I have a sprained ankle. Who cares, I am gonna go run to take a breather from this place.

Okay. I am done. I promise I am not always a total bitch. 95% of the time, yes I am but in that strange 5% of the time I am actually nice. I think. Welcome to the thoughts of Berryfine's random friend who makes guest appearances.