Mondays Musings (not by Berryfine)

Since Berryfine is out in Vegas I have decided to take on the task of her infamous Monday's Musings. I think she is like in LA somewhere now or she is still sitting at a slot machine. Where ever the hell she is tops where I am right now (and probably where you are too). It may not be as entertaining, but it can and may be just as angry. You see, Berryfine and I may be two different people but we both have attitude problems, cannot stand retarded people, have a very low patience level and get worked up over things pretty easily. So with that introduction let me begin.

• My car CD player is dysfunctional. Disc 1 plays smoothly and great. Disc 3 and 6, not so much. I have not yet tried out 2,4,or 5 so I will report back.
• Why is it that slow people must drive in the left hand lane. I want to get out of my car at red lights, knock on their window, and ask them why they believe they belong in the fast lane. 40 in a 45 is not what I call FAST.
• You're 28 years old yet you cannot chew with your mouth closed and you smack your food. You're southern. How did your Mama not smack you around for eating like a total pig? How did she not teach you some manners? I find it revolting.
• I hate when things just fall in people's laps. Why can't I have that sort of luck. No I have to work hard and stress all the time to just maybe do well. It is a crock of shit if you ask me. Even worse: then they're praised as "awesome" ... I call them lucky. Sheer luck.
• How is it already 12:30 PM? Where the hell did the day go.
• Berryfine is in Vegas drinking, gambling, and laying by the pool. She is a bitch for it. Yes Berryfine I did just call you a bitch on your own blog. What now?
• Ricky Martin came out of the closet today. He admitted he is a gay man. I am cool with it. I will always love Livin' Da Vida Loca.
• I took my dog to the vet this past weekend and it cost me $236 and some change to get him up to date on his shots - that seems like robbery. I am never having kids.
• Speaking of never having kids. It is true. This chick I follow on Twitter was in labor for 20 hours, broke her tailbone, and then had to have a C-Section. Fuck That.
• A note to moms everywhere. I think it is okay to post pics of your kids on facebook ... but if they're ugly, limit the uploading of pictures please. Also, I do not care about their fever, their vomiting, or their diarrhea. No, I do not have a quick fix for your 2 year old's pesky cough or how to make the newborn quit crying through the night. You signed up for ALL THAT when you opened your legs and said ohh I want a child.
• I am in a helluva mood today - I feel like everyone should watch out and I should just close my office door.
• I have a weird obsession with teenie bopper music. I was jamming out to Justin Beiber this morning and then realized I was singing "Shawty is an Eenie Meenie Minee Mo Lova" -- kill me now. Awful. Catchy. But Awful.
• I use the birthday reminder on Facebook to defriend people. ...I have been meaning to do it, you just reminded me on your day.oh.birth. :o)
• I hate when I defriend someone and they call me out for it. Why can't they just take a hint. Most importantly, why do they care? We have not spoken since your wedding, since graduation, since college. If I want you to know what is going on in my life I will BBM or text you.
• Why can't you understand "I do not give a fuck if it does not pertain to me"? I feel like that is pretty clear English.
• Serious Question: If the government cannot run the post office how are they supposed to run healthcare?
• I just love doing other people's jobs and not doing mine. I also love making other people their to do list for the day. What is wrong with this picture?
• Upside, Inside Out - Livin Da Vida Loca
• There is a guy in our office currently who talks so fucking loudly that I can hear him word for word. He is in the conference room, there is a kitchen between us, and I can still hear him. Really? Must you talk so loud?! ...15 minutes later, he is still talking or should I call it screaming.
• Sometimes when I think about Northern VA I die inside. Other times the fact that I am moving back cannot come soon enough.
• My boyfriend hangs up his gym clothes. The teeshirt and the work out shorts on one hanger. He says he has to coordinate or some of the shirts are too small. I do not really know, it is just weird to me.
• I want to make a facebook group in which all I do is call people out on their dumb looking facebook pictures. Example 1 is here
• Everyone go to the store and pick up a Sunchips Bag. You don't have to buy it. Just listen to it. It sounds AWFUL. Like tinfoil. Nothing like crunch crunch as you try to sneak chips.
• My boyfriend and I decided this weekend we would always have beer in our house. It is like my "I hate the world" medicine.
• I need some sunshine in my life.
• I am not in the mood to work today.
• On my run today I spotted my dream wedding dress. Now, Kyle just needs to pop the damn question. I say yes already.
• I am embarrassed for every person on the Tool Academy, but I thank them for the mindless entertainment.
• Courtesy of Texts From Last Night - made me think of Berryfine while in Vegas .... (907) I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
• My coworker's husband calls her like 10 times per day. She answers every single time. I swear she would be more productive if she didn't talk to him EVERY TIME he calls. Plus, doesn't he have a job? Why does he call so much. If Kyle wanted to talk to me that much, I would kill myself.
• I went to REI this weekend to spend my dividend *wahoo for free money* and found myself judging people. I am going to leave it at that, because it is real bitchy and I will be hated if I say it.
• Why does everyone think that I can find them a job?! Better yet - why do people think I want to find them a job?!
• Dailymile just told me I had an "awesome" training week. They lie. Awesome is not 3.15 miles - that is pathetic. Just be truthful Dailymile.
• I am pretty sure this whole blog entry breaches my company's social media policy. Whoops?
• The lights in the bathroom on my floor can and will cause a seizure. Promise it. I will blog about it when it happens.
• I think I have a sprained ankle. Who cares, I am gonna go run to take a breather from this place.

Okay. I am done. I promise I am not always a total bitch. 95% of the time, yes I am but in that strange 5% of the time I am actually nice. I think. Welcome to the thoughts of Berryfine's random friend who makes guest appearances.

Monday Musings

• That hole in my lip is back. Thank God I have on a black dress and am drinking Fuze. No stains for me!
• I would really like to know what you people who refuse to use a blinker think its intended use was when it was built into your vehicle. It is there for a fucking reason and that reason is pretty damn important. Last time I checked you have at least a ton of vehicle traveling faster than a person can crawl,walk or run moving down a road with other vehicles of equal or greater weight and speed. I believe that your blinker is meant to indicate to OTHERS that you have the intention of moving said ton of metal, plastic, fabric and what have you into a different lane. See you already know your intention but the rest of us on the road don’t. So take one second to drop your hand past the blinker in the direction you intend to move and save the rest of us from an accident or horn honking or finger flying.
• While we are on the subject, just because YOU want to MOVE over doesn’t mean YOU GET TO. You don’t have the right of way (same goes for merging people). The people already traveling in said lane have the right of way so you need to slow down or speed up accordingly. The blinker is not a universal sign for I’m getting over so get the fuck out of my way. Douchebag.
• Filling out my Census today. This thing seriously says NEGRO. I’m sorry, who says that anymore? And of those of you who say it…are you aware that it is the same as Black or African American? Because if so, I’m thinking the word Negro wasn’t really necessary to the census. Was it on the last one? Has it been there since the days of slavery when we really called African Americans and their descendents Negro? Didn’t think so.
• I find it amusing that they thank me for my participation. It’s fucking required by law. Not like I had a choice on that one. I mean I guess I did, but do I really want to owe the government anything more than I already do? Seems like they already get my soul and I didn’t have a choice in that matter either.
• I’m calling my morning thus far a draw because I got up to go to the gym and my crush wasn’t there so that was a bummer. Especially since I’m wearing fuck me boots and a dress right now. But it turned out for the better because I don’t have any makeup with me. I left it in the bathroomat my apt. Though he might never have noticed because of these boots. Also, Travis, my smoothie guy, wasn’t there so I had to skip my protein shake. But I got to stop and get Fuze so I can down my vitamins and I have oatmeal at work. So we’re doing well so far. But it’s only 8:11 am so who knows how the rest of the day will turn out.
• VEG….ASS. That is all.
• I really hate politics. It all just seems like bullshit to me. Who are these people to say they know better than me what I want, need or deserve? Because this healthcare thing has got people in an uproar and I can’t tell if there are more people opposed to what is going on or if they are just louder than the supporters. But my gut feeling is that Obama is feeling pressure and we are rushing this healthcare thing and not in a way that is ultimately going to be good for the people. I mean, I deal with Medicare patients on a daily basis and they HATE Medicare. Why do you think there are so many private insurances that offer replacement policies? What is going to be different from that? If you can't properly run MCR for a few thousand old people (or million whatever) what makes you think you can do it for the whole fucking country? So, if this works out then Hurray! But if it doesn’t work out…then I’m not surprised at all. Call me a cynic but I think the government is ignoring the wishes of the very people that put them in office on this one. But I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong before.
• I’m going to regret the above bullet point the minute I hit publish on this blog.
• I forgot you are supposed to take Fish Oil with food. Taking it with Fuze doesn’t count and now I know why. I want to vomit everywhere. Time to force some oatmeal down my throat.
• How does Ol Blue Eyes do it? Frank just came on my iPod and has me thinking how awesome it would be to have lived during his time of the Rat Pack. How great the 50s and 60s must have been! I have a feeling no one in the future is going to hear today’s current music and think 2010 was a stellar year and let’s go back to then.
• I really cannot stand when a computer or system takes fucking forever. I have absolutely no patience for it and no excuse can make the slowness acceptable.
• Dear Apple, Fuck you. Yeah it’s great my dad was nice enough to get me an iPod since mine broke. A brand spanking new iPod Nano (product RED of course). It works like a dream. Here is my problem: it doesn’t charge with my current car charger/player. So while it plays in my car, the battery is slowly dying. Why the fuck can it play but not charge? How is it only half compatible. That doesn't even make any sense Mr. Jobs. Why my other iPod charged in the dock I don’t know but I think it is pretty dick of you to make it so I’ll have to buy another or bring the damn thing inside every night and plug it into my computer to charge it. Just another way for you to make a quick buck I suppose.
• Went Bridesmaid Dress Shopping this weekend. You know from this post how much I love weddings but thus far Britt is turning into the ideal bride. Her wedding dress only took 3 hours to pick out and my bridesmaids dress only took an hour. Mainly because I knew what the fuck I wanted and I didn’t let her mom railroad her. I should just be a wedding planner.
• I’m missing the NYC/NJ area a hella ton recently. Probably because I’ve been following one of my old bosses blog and it just makes me sad I’m not living the same life. Yes, she was fired and yes, she has no idea what is coming up next but she attends parties and she’s living by the seat of her pants in one of the coolest cities in the US. If you’ve ever wondered what it was like to work in journalism and live in NYC be sure to add her to your blog roll. She is awesomely entertaining and insightful :)
• I need to get some more concerts in my life. Any suggestions for shows in the Atlanta area? Or if you have somewhere for me to crash I will travel for music as well! Almost everyone I know is going to see Dave Matthews band and I adore them but I’ve seen them several times in concert and I’m just not sure I want to fork out that kind of money for a band I’ve seen already. I’d like to expand my musical tastes a little I think.
• Trying to scale back my music collection on my laptop so there is room for other shit is a bitch of an undertaking. It is taking forever. Why do I have so much shitty music on my computer?
• Need music for VegAss playlist. Songs must include words like money, betting, gambling, sex, drugs and anything Vegas related. Since I’ve never been I’m just assuming the words I picked work.
• My blackberry just changed the tone for incoming texts. Out of nowhere. I can’t even fix it since I’m in the office and listening to ringtones might piss my boss off. And yes, Barbie, your texts rather than BBMing like I like are what alerted me to this change. So, I guess, thank you for that. (ANDDDD BAM! I call you out again)
• Wander over to Barbie’s blog when you get a chance. Why? Because I said so. And she just did the ING Half Marathon in Atlanta. So she is a rockstar and deserves followers (even though she has way more than me already).
• I started going to the tanning bed again. What? The world thinks everyone from GA GTLs on the reg so I might as well join them. Why not perpetuate the sterotype? Also, I’m in this wedding next month and the bride looks Native American she tans so much so I figure I should be somewhat tan or I’ll look like Casper the friendly ghost. You know the saying…when in Rome…
• How can I get more followers? Here is the thing, I don’t want to go throwing this shit on facebook because my sister is on there and a handful of other family members including my Dad. Maybe I should do some kind of referral raffle. Where each referral gets you a ticket for a drawing for a cool prize. Hmm…suggestions?
• Barbie hasn’t noticed that I haven’t tweeted since last night yet. Can’t wait to hear about it.
• I have strawberries at home. WHOO! I love slicing them and putting them in tubberware with some sugar. Then I eat the whole container in one sitting and want to die. I’m surprised I haven’t turned into Strawberry Shortcake yet.
• I’m trying to think of some awesome way to end this but I’ve got nothing. The thing is, this is getting too damn long and I’m hungry. And it’s kind of nice to have to done before lunch so I can focus on other blogs. Because I’m awesome like that. Okay, that is good enough for me. If you have a problem with it, leave a comment in the section labeled comments. If you don’t have a problem, leave some love there because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and validates this blogs existence.