Monday Musing

• Dear Georgia Tech Graduate, I would think that having gained admittance into the North Avenue Trade School you would know where you fit in on the road (and I don’t mean of life. I mean LITERALLY THE ROAD). Let me give you a hint: It’s not in the left lane of 85 South at rush hour. In fact, at first I was just going to say the left lane but I’m thinking during rush hour period since you seem unable to go at a speed in which the rest of us are comfortable with you should just go home and build a model rocket and work some other time.
• I’d like to take a moment to thank the pen that exploded in my purse covering not only my personal belongings in blue smurf-like ink but also a copy of Denis Leary’s book which I had planned to send to @centripetal this morning. Guess I'll be buying a third copy of the book.
• There is a woman at work whom I shall call Dragon Lady (mainly because I do around the office). She drives me crazy with rudeness and lack of respect for coworkers and we had it out a few weeks ago. Since then, she’s been extremely nice to me. I don’t know if its coincidence or I got through to her or she got laid or what. I have so say, I don’t know what scares me more- when she’s a complete bitch or so nice I want to punch her.
• Eric Church makes everything better. My iPod is currently set to him due to the concert my sister and I attended this past weekend. The Grascals, Jamey Johnson, Eric Church and Hank William’s Jr. I cannot even put into words what this concert was like. But if you like country, Eric is your man. This is my pick for my wedding song and if my non-existent future husband doesn’t like it, well, the wedding’s off.
• I’m relocating to another state and I have no idea where to start. A job would seem to be the obvious starting point but the whole idea of moving seems like such a chore with all these things I need to be thinking of.
• I once wrote a post about why I hate my job. It got me in some trouble but looking back on it, I really did hate my job so I guess my subconscious was trying to help me out there. Maybe I should write a post about why I love my latest job so much better than my last one. Just to stick it to them- like haha, you fired me for this but now I can do it all I want! I like to imagine their updated social networking policies are a result of my actions. Glad I left a mark.
• I forgot my underwear when I packed my bag this morning. So after a tough workout, I showered and went for it and it wasn’t there. I’m not going to lie these are not the best pants for this situation. Just rather uncomfortable.
• Why do people get so worked up about tickets? It a cop stopped you, you were doing something wrong. End of the discussion. There is no one you should be mad at except yourself for doing something wrong (or for getting caught anyway).
• Some days I really love listservs. Other days, fucking busch league. It’s so easy to offend people without even trying. Or annoy people with responses. Some people just have no clue how many fucking emails they are sending out.
• It’s National Pretzel Day. Go to www.pretzelmaker.com to find a location near you giving out free pretzels. They try to throw in some junk about singing for your snack but then realize its bullshit and say in the next line that if you just mention its national pretzel day, you get a free one. So waste of whatever right there.
• There is nothing worse than working with idiots. Nothing.
• I have a derby day shower I am going to on Saturday. I need a present, a dress and a floppy hat. Guess who is not going to get any of that until Saturday? This girl right here.
• I spend a majority of my money on food. I have got to learn how to cook. And how to ignore my cravings.
• I’m not feeling particularly funny this morning. Must be the weather.
• My hot pink nails remind me of high school spring breakers in their cutoffs and airbrushed shirts on their way back from Panama City Beach. Or a stripper. Either one.
• Apparently the United States is also to blame for the violence in Mexico because it is “our demand for drugs” and way of life that is breeding the violence. Look, just because someone is asking for drugs doesn’t mean that someone who provides them automatically shoots and kills children and police officers. Indirectly related? Yes. Directly? Not so much. They are pissed at you and your leadership, not us. Plus, we provided 1.3 million bucks to help you plus manpower, helicopters, dogs, and other shit. If we do it this way, then your country supplying is leading to violence in the US. Because you know, people are pissed they can’t get their fix and then are robbing and shit to get it. It’s the people that are the problem buddy.
• Roethlisberger raped that girl.Or something along those lines. End of discussion. Or you can read here how Milledgeville police ruined any chance they had of nailing this guy (pun intended).
  
  

Mondays Musings (not by Berryfine)

Since Berryfine is out in Vegas I have decided to take on the task of her infamous Monday's Musings. I think she is like in LA somewhere now or she is still sitting at a slot machine. Where ever the hell she is tops where I am right now (and probably where you are too). It may not be as entertaining, but it can and may be just as angry. You see, Berryfine and I may be two different people but we both have attitude problems, cannot stand retarded people, have a very low patience level and get worked up over things pretty easily. So with that introduction let me begin.

• My car CD player is dysfunctional. Disc 1 plays smoothly and great. Disc 3 and 6, not so much. I have not yet tried out 2,4,or 5 so I will report back.
• Why is it that slow people must drive in the left hand lane. I want to get out of my car at red lights, knock on their window, and ask them why they believe they belong in the fast lane. 40 in a 45 is not what I call FAST.
• You're 28 years old yet you cannot chew with your mouth closed and you smack your food. You're southern. How did your Mama not smack you around for eating like a total pig? How did she not teach you some manners? I find it revolting.
• I hate when things just fall in people's laps. Why can't I have that sort of luck. No I have to work hard and stress all the time to just maybe do well. It is a crock of shit if you ask me. Even worse: then they're praised as "awesome" ... I call them lucky. Sheer luck.
• How is it already 12:30 PM? Where the hell did the day go.
• Berryfine is in Vegas drinking, gambling, and laying by the pool. She is a bitch for it. Yes Berryfine I did just call you a bitch on your own blog. What now?
• Ricky Martin came out of the closet today. He admitted he is a gay man. I am cool with it. I will always love Livin' Da Vida Loca.
• I took my dog to the vet this past weekend and it cost me $236 and some change to get him up to date on his shots - that seems like robbery. I am never having kids.
• Speaking of never having kids. It is true. This chick I follow on Twitter was in labor for 20 hours, broke her tailbone, and then had to have a C-Section. Fuck That.
• A note to moms everywhere. I think it is okay to post pics of your kids on facebook ... but if they're ugly, limit the uploading of pictures please. Also, I do not care about their fever, their vomiting, or their diarrhea. No, I do not have a quick fix for your 2 year old's pesky cough or how to make the newborn quit crying through the night. You signed up for ALL THAT when you opened your legs and said ohh I want a child.
• I am in a helluva mood today - I feel like everyone should watch out and I should just close my office door.
• I have a weird obsession with teenie bopper music. I was jamming out to Justin Beiber this morning and then realized I was singing "Shawty is an Eenie Meenie Minee Mo Lova" -- kill me now. Awful. Catchy. But Awful.
• I use the birthday reminder on Facebook to defriend people. ...I have been meaning to do it, you just reminded me on your day.oh.birth. :o)
• I hate when I defriend someone and they call me out for it. Why can't they just take a hint. Most importantly, why do they care? We have not spoken since your wedding, since graduation, since college. If I want you to know what is going on in my life I will BBM or text you.
• Why can't you understand "I do not give a fuck if it does not pertain to me"? I feel like that is pretty clear English.
• Serious Question: If the government cannot run the post office how are they supposed to run healthcare?
• I just love doing other people's jobs and not doing mine. I also love making other people their to do list for the day. What is wrong with this picture?
• Upside, Inside Out - Livin Da Vida Loca
• There is a guy in our office currently who talks so fucking loudly that I can hear him word for word. He is in the conference room, there is a kitchen between us, and I can still hear him. Really? Must you talk so loud?! ...15 minutes later, he is still talking or should I call it screaming.
• Sometimes when I think about Northern VA I die inside. Other times the fact that I am moving back cannot come soon enough.
• My boyfriend hangs up his gym clothes. The teeshirt and the work out shorts on one hanger. He says he has to coordinate or some of the shirts are too small. I do not really know, it is just weird to me.
• I want to make a facebook group in which all I do is call people out on their dumb looking facebook pictures. Example 1 is here
• Everyone go to the store and pick up a Sunchips Bag. You don't have to buy it. Just listen to it. It sounds AWFUL. Like tinfoil. Nothing like crunch crunch as you try to sneak chips.
• My boyfriend and I decided this weekend we would always have beer in our house. It is like my "I hate the world" medicine.
• I need some sunshine in my life.
• I am not in the mood to work today.
• On my run today I spotted my dream wedding dress. Now, Kyle just needs to pop the damn question. I say yes already.
• I am embarrassed for every person on the Tool Academy, but I thank them for the mindless entertainment.
• Courtesy of Texts From Last Night - made me think of Berryfine while in Vegas .... (907) I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
• My coworker's husband calls her like 10 times per day. She answers every single time. I swear she would be more productive if she didn't talk to him EVERY TIME he calls. Plus, doesn't he have a job? Why does he call so much. If Kyle wanted to talk to me that much, I would kill myself.
• I went to REI this weekend to spend my dividend *wahoo for free money* and found myself judging people. I am going to leave it at that, because it is real bitchy and I will be hated if I say it.
• Why does everyone think that I can find them a job?! Better yet - why do people think I want to find them a job?!
• Dailymile just told me I had an "awesome" training week. They lie. Awesome is not 3.15 miles - that is pathetic. Just be truthful Dailymile.
• I am pretty sure this whole blog entry breaches my company's social media policy. Whoops?
• The lights in the bathroom on my floor can and will cause a seizure. Promise it. I will blog about it when it happens.
• I think I have a sprained ankle. Who cares, I am gonna go run to take a breather from this place.

Okay. I am done. I promise I am not always a total bitch. 95% of the time, yes I am but in that strange 5% of the time I am actually nice. I think. Welcome to the thoughts of Berryfine's random friend who makes guest appearances.