Twitter Tuesday is back and unfortunately the bulk of my day has been spent actually working. I know it shocks me, too, when I actually behave as a functioning adult and do something productive. Luckily, I'm back at home in my shithole of an apartment (okay, the apartment itself is great; my housekeeping skills...not so much) and better able to function as an easily distracted, bumbling idiot. I had a really shitty Monday (actually two in a row...well, I guess not in a row since there are 6 days between them but you get my point). This next Tweeter (or twatter if you are Stephen Colbert) makes Monday almost bearable when he is not flinging insults back at me...
Monday_ is exactly what you think it is: that bitch of a friend you wish you could throw down a hole. Then cover that hole with everything imaginable to better walk all over it like the doormat it is. Instead, you're the doormat and Monday has made you it's bitch. And that is what this tweeter is all about. Some sample commentary from the worst day of the week:
- To all my loyal followers... I am happy to report that I no longer have to search Twitter for Monday whining. I'm done. Thanks. Fuck off.
- @BasicallyRed Are you just wacky crazy or scissors to the penis crazy? As far as the carpet, who cares as long as it's not shag.
- @GLKing Hey look. You woke up this morning. Be grateful and move along.
- @darkchylde3 Considering the week is only a day and a half old you don't expect much do you.
- Every time I hear WhoDat today... I'm killing a puppy... I'm not fucking around.
- If girls from Alabama are Southern Belles are girls from Mexico Taco Belles?
- If a stadium full of midgets does the wave, is that a "ripple"?
- I'm madder than a two fingered cripple trying to sext someone.
- @radicalkah Emo chicks turn me on! Check out this erection. No razore blades please.
- @SweeTay16 Hate is so strong. I loathe your sorry ass.
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