Everybody Poops

So, I know this is TMI, but my mind is all over the damn place today because I got no sleep last night. And it’s going to go off in a million directions as I type this so you’ll just have to bear with me. I was just in the women’s restroom and I hated every moment of it. Why, you ask. Well, I had to go #2 and people were in and out of the damn bathroom during this time like men in a whorehouse. It made me incredibly uncomfortable. And while I was thinking how nice it would be to just stop it and wait another two hours until I got home, I wondered what the hell I had ingested that made me have to poop so badly at this moment in time. So far today, I have had a bottle of water, a protein shake and a cup of coffee. All liquids. And while I’m pondering, can liquid become a poop or is it simply pee? Yes, my friends, I have the mind of a child.

So, I wondered, could last night’s meal be what was coming out of me at this point (there is no polite way to put any of this so I apologize). My last meal prior to today was at 8 pm. Does it take more than 12 hours to digest food? Well, I thought to myself, what are you waiting for? GOOGLE THAT SHIT.

So I did, at work, because I’m too tired to function properly unless I am keenly interested in something. And that something right now is my poop. And how it got here.

So, first response (not like the pregnancy test) I got was from the Mayo Clinic who was very succinct and basically told me if I’m healthy then it should take 24-72 hours. So, if I’m not healthy does this happen slower or quicker? And why does it seem like I’m pooping my bad eating choices a mere hour after they occur. Trust when I say they don’t occur on a daily basis- usually once a week, I slip….hmmm. Thanks for not much Mayo clinic.

NEXTTTTTT…

Hello, Were You Wondering (http://www.wereyouwondering.com/), I might have to bookmark you for future research. He has diagrams and shit. And breaks down how it happens. Which I tried to read but found I wasn’t as interested as I had hoped. His decison: 80 hours from the time we see the food to the time we poop it.

Some sites had it as low as 5 hours (Wiki Answers- I don’t think you people know what you are talking about) but the general consensus is 72 hours. So without a food journal I have no idea what the hell I’m pooping out today. Bummer.

Tried to google liquids turning to poop but no one else seems concerned with that question. Or everyone else knows this answer. But I did stumble across this page which has some good topics of bowel movement to look at. Since I am running my ½ Marathon for CCFA, I know how important bowel movements are even as I try to be amusing about it. Seriously, if you have questions and concerns talk to a doctor because your bowel movements are indicative of your health. And we don't fuck around with our health, do we? It’s also a slightly uncomfortable topic and makes you feel like a child when you discuss it but whatever do it anyway. At least, I helped with some answers and no one has to know you even looked!

Am I the only curious about poop? I know I’m not the only one who hates public restrooms!