So, I was thinking on this because...well, the reason is obnoxious enough that I wouldn't want anyone to be involved in a sexual encounter with me at this moment in time. Most women use the standard excuse of a headache for getting out of sex and I tend to just be honest. That's cool you want sex Mr. Penis but Miss Vagina will bite you in two if you come anywhere near her so stay the fuck away if you want to ever get close to her or any other vagina in your future. Anyway... I thought I might compile the reasons I am currently throwing myself back into No Sex Land ( or the reasons I have deluded myself into thinking I'm choosing not to have sex).
#1 My Boobs.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY BOOBS. I love everything about them. They are pretty much a great size for me (if a guy wants more, too fucking bad. I have to carry them around so I should have a say in how big they are damnit). The nipples are normal sized in my opinion, nothing to make a guy say OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEFUCKISONYOURBOOB?!?!?! The coloring is nice. Sometimes, I just look at them in the mirror...with or without clothes. Sometimes I even cup them just to check their weight or how soft they might be. Whatever, they are my boobs and I'll do what I want with them.
So, why are they a hinderance to sex currently?
Well, they fucking itch. That's why. They itch constantly. And I just took a peek at them (yes, in the office) and the inside of my cute black bra looks like my boobs are shedding snake skin or something. And don't say that was TMI, this is a fucking sex blog for God's sake. Anyway, I think the skin is dry or something. Of course, the only lotion I have right now is scented which just dries your skin further. On that note, does anyone lotion their breasts up on a daily basis? Any tips for boob itching/dryness?
So, yeah, if they are so dry the inside of my bra looks like dandruff fell from my roots to my breasts, then I'm thinking it might be a turnoff to any guy who might be interested in slipping between my sheets with me. And even if he doesn't give a shit, I do and then sex won't be fun because I'll be thinking about my dry nipples, ya know?
3 comments:
I'm supposed to be preparing for my Physiotherapy National Board exam at 4pm... but instead I'm reading your blog. go figure. Anyway, I appreciate your appreciation of your boobs bc I do the same with mine... let's just be honest here. And yes, I lotion them up on a daily basis. I recommend Gold Bond (either CoQ10 or with Shea butter) or Eucerin (they have a fanastic anti-itch lotion). Besides the fact that neither are scented (so they wont dry your skin out, but rather hydrate) I tend to get compliments on the way my skin smells. Too much? Too bad. Side note... I've noticed that a certain few of my bras make me itch too.. I think it's the fabric they're made of. Something to look into. Thanks for the entertainment... loves you!
No TMI disclaimer required. This is your blog, and I know several women who have had the same minor, but still bothersome, problem.
I would follow Vanessa's advice to try new lotions and check the material in your bra. You can also switch to using Dove sensitive skin body wash (or some similar product) in your shower -- just on your breasts if you don't want to change your whole bathing routine. If those things don't help, then ask your GYN or a dermatologist. You could have dermatitis or a skin condition that might require a cream.
Thanks guys...I switched lotion to a Vaseline lotion that is unscented. My boobs don't itch though now they are painful so I'm wondering if Mother Nature is sending a certain Aunt my way and this has something to do with that... I'll keep you posted :)
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