St. Patrick’s Day is my most favoritest holiday EVER and has been since I was a small child. It’s probably a vanity thing because every restaurant and bar has my name all over the place. Who doesn’t love that shit? Add the fact that it is acceptable to get completely smashed in public and it’s like you brought heaven on earth for me. I am actually not going to be celebrating this year past wearing my Irish Yoga shirt because I leave for Vegas next week and need the $$$$$ for that trip. It’s driving me nuts but just because I’m a loser tonight does not mean you should be, too. So, in the spirit of Saint Patrick and all things Erin, I am bringing you some of my favorite things Irish.
Words and Expressions for Drink:
Black Stuff
Gargle
Go On the Batter as in “My girlfriend goes on the batter more often than I do.”
Has a Great Lip for the Stout
Horse It Into Ye
Jar
Lick Drink Off a Scabby Leg
Lob it into Me, Boss
My mouth is as dry as an arab’s tackie
Piss-Up
And once you’re nice and Drunk:
Bollixed
Circling over Shannon (derived from a visit by Boris Yeltsin)
Fluthered as in “I was so fluthered last night I slept with the missus”
Gee-eyed
Langered
Off me face
Ossified
Paralytic which means so inebriated one actually passes out.
Plastered
Rat-arsed
What to Order at the Bar:
Black Velvet- Combine chilled stout and champagne in a large glass jug. Stir well. Pour slowly into pre-chilled tall glasses.
Hot Whiskey- Pour whiskey into a glass. Place a spoon in the glass and add sugar, cloves, lemon and two measures of just-boiled water. Stir well, pressing on the slice of lemon to extract juice. Serve immediately.
Irish Coffee- Warm the Irish whiskey in a microwave for 30 seconds. Pour whiskey into a warmed 7 oz Irish Coffee glass and add sugar. Fill with hot coffee to within a half an inch of the top of the glass. Stir until the sugar is dissolved. Sppon whipped cream on top of the hot coffee and serve immediately.
And when you get drunk, try not to ask someone to sing Danny Boy. The Irish are not a fan of Americans request for it. Try The Rocky Road to Dublin, I’ll Tell Me Ma, and if you are feeling especially frisky get someone to sing the filthiest song Maids When You’re Young Never Wed an Old Man.
Now, get the feck off your arse and start circling over Shannon!
1 comment:
I just shouted in the office all those terms in the best Irish accent I could muster! Erin go Braugh!
(side note: i'll be a lone loser tonight as well, for I am also saving $$$ for my bachelorette trip scheduled for Nashville next weekend)
But it was fun getting into the Irish spirit if only for mere moments! My mouth is as dry as an arabs tackie! LOL
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