Things I Would Do if I Had a WEE Bit More Dough

So, I've discussed what I wanted for Christmas 2009 (none of which happened PS), what I would do if I won the lottery (which still hasn't happened...obviously), My Bucket List (none of which I have completed... actually I have no idea), Things that I'm Tired of Hearing About (of which I can add to. Por ejemplo, was it necessary for Kanye and Taylor Swift to sing about that stupid VMA incident a fucking year later? Methinks NO), and shows I would be absolutely AWESOME on (which has not led to me being on said shows. YET). Today, I want to list all the things I would do or buy if I had just a bit more money. Or just a bit less bills. Either way.

1. A dresser. Dude. Seriously. My fucking clothes are stacked up in a fucking pile against the wall. Granted I've divided them out into types (short sleeves shirts, tank tops, jeans, shorts, etc, etc.) but the room looks like a fucking 12 year old boys. Some days I pick things up and sniff them to ensure I'm able to even wear them in public. Yes, I should have been born a guy. I'm also fairly certain you will find me sleeping like so one of these days. Possibly on the side of the street but what the fuck ever.


2. Pole Dancing classes. Yes, I want to be a stripper. One day I want a boy to sing I'm in love with a stripper to me. Oh wait, someone has already done that. Whoops. Anyway, the girl who taught my class in Vegas had a BANGING body. Clearly I want to be her. But less trashy.


3. Attend GA/FL. Stay in a nice house for 4 days. Get hammered. Hang on the beach. Pay Florida to lose (I am only half kidding on that one). Basically enjoy myself without worrying about every last dollar I spend and how many hours of overtime it equals.
   
   
4. Cable TV. Its really shitty watching everything on Hulu (no offense since I'm grateful its around). In fact, I need DVR, HBO and Showtime. And if you don't know why, you don't stop by nearly enough so click here. While I'm at it, a new TV is probably necessary.


5. I would fly home to Jersey, take a weekend to Hilton Head, fly out to California. I would take trips. Vacations are a necessity in life damnit. How else can one get through dead-end jobs?
6. I would have a liquor cabinent in my apartment. Stocked with everything awesome. Wine, beer, bourbon, gin, vodka, rum...all of it. Hmmmm...yummmmm. God just thinking about it makes me thirsty.
7. I'd finally make my doctors appts- dentist, gyno and eye doctor. Yes, I know its horrible to be behind on this. No, I can't afford copays or my deductible. So my teeth are terrible, my hoo ha is empty (omg I half can't belive I just typed that) and my eyes need new contacts STAT.

There is a lot more shit but I'm thinking this needs to be part 1. Part 2 will come later.

What would you do if you had just a little more spare cash?