Monday Musings

Today I would like to leave you with a list of things I'm so fucking tired of hearing about. In other words, the I don't give a shit list.

• Chick-fil-a's NEW spicy chicken sandwich. I know you all tried it FOR FREE. I don't want to see every fucking status on facebook about it. Imagine people who have no Chick-fil-a's. I bet they are sick of it too. It's a sandwich with hot sauce people. It's like christmas in June for the South. It should not take hours to pick up your sandwich because thousands are stopping in to try it. Traffic should not be stopped on my street for a chicken sandwich. Call me when you create a sandwich that tastes better than any other and helps me LOSE weight. Then I might be giddy.
• SEC Expansion? Will it or won't it happen? Look I'm a huge DAWGS fan and I want what's best for my conference but I don't want to read your take on who might go where. You live in the suburbs, you work a dead-end job, probably you dislike your children 40% of the time, and you never played football nor do you have any connections to any of said football programs other than the fact that you attend or watch every game. And even you so-called in-the-know guys and gals (I'm looking at you Tony Barnhart) don't know jack shit. So cut the speculation and let's just wait for the shit to be ironed out.
• Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber. Do I even need to go into detail on this one?
• Obama. Love him or hate him? I don't give a shit. Your ideas of what he shoulda/coulda/woulda don't mean jack diddly so stop tweeting them, blogging them and facebook statusing them.
• Your children. Oh good lord- I don't care if they pooped, raised their head, discovered a new planet at age 3. Your children are not entertaining in the slightest and to be honest you're immediate family is the only one who cares. Try creating a people who think my baby is cute google group and send out mass emails to those people.
• Weddings. I don't like attending them. I don't want to hear about the planning process unless I ask you directly. Even then, I'm just trying to be polite. And for those of you wondering, I will recap this weekend's festivities at some point.
• The World Cup. Be honest, you don't care either except you could maybe bet some money. You don't watch soccer on the reg so don't act like you do.
• Your stupid ass car decals announcing your initials. You know what you actually just announced to me? You just let me know you care more about how your car looks driving down the highway than actually how it drives down the highway. Also, you are a shitty driver. Let's just clear that up right now. You cut people off, drive too slow, think blinkers are a waste of time and generally just do anything but pay attention to the road or anyone who might have somewhere to fucking be. So thanks for the heads up there, cupcake. That goes double for you, stick figure family waving cheekily at me as I sit in traffic cursing my luck.
• BP and the Oil Spill. Okay, I get it. Animals and the ecosystem are at stake because those greedy bastards at British Petroleum made a decision that would (if all had gone as planned) save them millions. I know, it appears they don't give a shit. They only sent 7 men to start the cleanup in Florida! For christ's sake, it happened and now we need to deal with it. What I don't need to deal with is an obnoxious commentator telling me that Obama appears to not give a shit because it took him 40+ days to fly down there AND he showed up in dress slacks, a button down and tie. How insensitive of him. Rather than wasting my time and your breaths critiquing stupid shit, let's focus on getting this mess under control already. BP isn't getting the damn thing done so someone else step the fuck in and let them foot the bill. I don't mean to sound callous but seriously people, you are focusing on the wrong things.
• Ballers behaving badly. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Fuck that. What is it with these people thinking they are entitled to behave any way they want and suffer no consequences? They do drugs, cheat on their spouses, assault girls (alledgedly), run dog fighting rings and beat the ever living shit out of people in public. They have absolutely no regard for anyone but themselves. And why is this? Because we let them get away with it. Listen shithead, you make millions of dollars to do something you love and excel at. Part of the job description requires that you keep your ass in line. So get with the fucking program already.