Email Fun with Hot Baseball Boy

True email conversation that occured after our softball team came from behind to win. Yes, I said came from behind. Isn't it great how sexually charged conversations about sports can be?

From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
date: Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:07 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

I can't believe no one mentioned the fact that james used the term "pull out" in the subject line... I thought for sure one of you would.

As for depetrios, he's easy. I prefer more of a challenge.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
date:Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:05 PM
subject Re: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

What does "pull out" mean?

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From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
date: Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:10 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

You have got to be kidding me right now

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:12 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Not at all

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From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:21 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Guess you've followed the Boy Scout motto of always being prepared you're whole life...

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:21 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

I don't get where this is going...

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From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:26 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

I feel like I'm about to have to give you an anatomyy/sex ed lesson and I'm not sure I feel up to the challenge...

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:24 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Hey go for it! Lessons are always a good way to learn!

From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 1:33 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

i think you just want to get a good laugh out of me attempting to explain this to you...

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 2:09 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Please, proceed

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From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 2:30 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Okay so I know we're kind of older...but if you can please remember back to your college days. If not yours, then those of perhaps your drunk baseball teammates. I'll give you a minute to be nostalgic.

Now you know in college guys and gals like to do this thing called "sex" ,"nookie" ,"getting some ass", "getting laid", "getting busy" or whatever you would like to call it(like tab b goes into slot a- if you need me to break it down farther please let me know. I don't want you to be confused). And often times, this occured when maybe some people weren't prepared for this event to happen. He thought she'd have something to cover his tool, and she thought he'd be bringing his own. Isn't it nice that he didn't just assume she'd be an easy lay?

Are you following so far? Do you need a minute to process?

Okay then, when they realized they didn't have the necessary protective goods (you know, they frantically knocked on all the neighbors doors or whatever to be sure or they just said f it and proceeded) they decided to do it anyway. Who needs latex when a guy can just "pull out" before the little guys can swim to the egg. As for where the little guys end up, that's between the guy and the girl. I don't judge.

Do we get it now? I swear to god if you make fun of this explanation, I will probably swing a bat at you. And considering that I swing at anything, I'll probably hit you, too. It's a lot harder to be "delicate" about this topic than I thought.

And that concludes our PBS special on protective measures aka pullng out.

From: Hot Baseball Boy
To: Berryfine
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 2:39 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!

Nice, I do appreciate the breakdown. I do conclude that if you dont "pull out" in time, that both you and the girl will both have a "scare", assuming you both arent serious about having children at that particular time of sexual activity. Am I correct here?

From: Berryfine
To: Hot Baseball Boy
dateThu, Jun 10, 2010 at 2:45 PM
subjectRe: Nothing InCommon Pulls Out 10-8 Win!
You are indeed correct, young man. Gold star on your homework for today!

Now, as with most rules there are always exceptions. For instance, she may not have her "scare" until "that time of the month" mysteriously never comes. And then she's got to figure out who she has to call to have a "talk" with. Which may or may not lead to one of them asking the other if they should "take care of the situation". And then things may get real ugly. Unfortunately, I don't have the time or the skills to draw you a flow chart detailing various scenarios while I'm working.

For those of you keeping track, yes this is the MARRIED guy on my softball team. What the fuck is with me?!?!?!