FreakOut Friday

I know, I know…I’m doing this all wrong. It’s supposed to be Wednesday Wigout and Fun Friday or Fuck up Friday or something equally as entertaining and oh so fun. Unfortunately, in my world the stress level has hit epic proportions. There’s all kinds of personal shit going on in my life that will remain personal. I mean the public followers are pretty much my friends but I know there are some sneaky people who won’t admit to reading my blog so you don’t deserve to stalk me further. So, since Wednesday was Wedding Wednesday today shall become FreakOut Friday (obviously, it was the title of the post).

So, I’m hunting for a job (this blog I’m sure is not helping). It fucking blows (for instance that comment right there). Add in the fact that I have until August 8th to find a new place because I hate the hellhole I live in right now and my life is literally below shambles. It’s like BPs oil leak is in my apartment. I’m drowning in oil (I can’t wait for someone to jump on me for comparing my life to that of the BP Oil Spill. It’s not quite the same level- I get it. Back off). My days are consumed with work, overtime work, gym, applying for jobs I’m never going to get and emailing apartment complexes only to find out 700 square feet (usually less) is going for minimum $1000 in Atlanta. Seriously, the only thing worse than apartment hunting is job hunting and putting the two together is like the worst form of hell. Actually, the worst form of hell would be having to do all of this in a bathing suit surrounded by Victoria’s Secret models.

There are a lot of things standing in the way of me getting a job. The largest one being that I’m me…and not someone cooler, more edumacated, in the know, whatever.

• My resume BLOWS. You would think, me having been a recruiter, I would know how to write a damn good resume. Not so my friend. I used to joke around with people and say I got my job as a recruiter because I had a lot of trouble finding myself a job and no trouble finding others a job. That holds true to this day. It is hard to list everything you do in a day in an intelligent manner (log into work, check email, print claims, write blog, stuff envelopes, write another blog, print patient claims, read other peoples blogs, run mail, get coffee, gchat, write third blog, lab billing, read ny post, patient write offs, wash dishes, check facebook, bbm with Amanda, call patients, log out. Shit, I'm half way there!)
• My interviewing attire is ATROCIOUS. Actually so is my work attire in general.Here’s the issue, I dropped 22 lbs. But when I weighed a lot, I just squeezed my size 16 ass into the size 12. So obviously, now the size 12 is stretched to a 16 but I don’t fit in an actual size 12 either. I also don’t fit in a size 10. I’m pretty much fucked. And if I keep losing weight there is no reason to waste money on pants. I don’t care how rich I am, I will not waste money on clothing I LOVE to not be able to wear it at a later date. It’s stupid.
• I have a tattoo ON MY FOOT. There is no getting around this big ass saying that covers the entire top of my foot. Meaning that I cannot wear the one suit that fits me. It’s a skirt suit and not only is this tattoo unprofessional in general but also what if the person interviewing me has some creepy foot fetish? I don’t want to draw more attention to this entire ordeal.
• How do you tell someone why you were FIRED? If someone was fired from a job, as a recruiter, I refused to hire him (or her, being political correct sucks balls). Especially if the reason had something to do with their general attitude. Now, how the hell do I explain that I was fired because one day I had a terrible, no-good, very bad day which could entirely be attributed to work because I was leaving for vacation that day so I logged into facebook and typed the following “I hate my job. No joke.” I’ll explain more on this later. It’s a post in itself. Anyway, what kind of explanation do you give? And how do you make anyone realize you have learned from your stupid behavior?

This post is getting long (as is my freakout for that matter) so part dos will have to come at a later date. Wait for it. I mean I guess I could sum it up like this “Without a new job and better salary, I cannot get another apartment. The end.” Post posted. Bing bang boom.