Saturday, June 19, 2010

One Shithole Down...two more to go...

So, I got an offer that seemed too good to be true and in typical Berryfine fashion, I immediately began daydreaming about the wonderful life I would have in my new two bedroom apartment in the cute but vintage Avondale Estates. Of course, per usual, whenever I try to be positive about something I am inevitably disappointed.

When she said they had "landscapers", she meant they pay an illegal $5/hr to mow the lawn and pick up sticks. And the lawn ain't much to mow- except of course the one right outside the model building.

Hardwood floors- like "she told me" (ummm no she didn't)- are an upgrade. And by upgrade, she does actually mean an upgrade since the carpeting is circa 1980 and is reminiscent of my elementary school floor (which I was acquainted with during tornado drills).

The master bedroom that "fits a king size bed" does, in fact, fit a king size bed- if you plan on never seeing the floor and not being able to shut any doors.

The "roomy walk in closet" is just a long closet. My current closet is double the size and filled to the brim with clothing so that won't work.

The "vintage" bathroom is the size of a box. So that's what vintage means...

The woman told me the place is "always this quiet". Um probably because the neighbors are all in their 80s.

"People live here 10, 15, 20 years...they just don't leave!" Umm, because they cannot afford to?

And on another note, don't set a fucking appointment with me for 2:30 pm and then when I show up NOT BE THERE. So I called and got the answering service. So I knocked. Bitch, hey Suzy!, opens the blinds and mouths "were closed". As she goes to shut the blinds, I yell that I have an appointment at 2:30 which she thinks is a lie. She opens the door and tells me she'll be with me in a minute then shuts the door in my face! Not the best way to get future tenants.

Also, I don't generally follow apartment reviews because the only people that do them are people who hate them but the reviews for this complex seem to be pretty fucking on target. I will NOT be moving into Avondale Station any time soon (unless I can't find something else by August 8th!)

1 comment:

Unknown said...

what happened to post brookhaven offering you a killer deal or moving in with a friend in brookhaven?! i was excited about you being my running buddy.