Monday Musings

• It's been a while. For that I apologize.
• Larry Munson, voice of the DAWGS, passed away from complications with Pneumonia. It's a sad day in the bulldog nation. I'm going to spend the day listening to his playcalling. You can read his favorite calls here.
• Software testing is the PITS. Nothing works and it is a lot of fucking work that takes away from doing your actual job. I can't recruit if I'm over here trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with our applicant tracking system in time for the rollout.
• The other day in the middle of the day a guy showed up and knocked on my door. I answered it. He said he had the wrong address and walked away. I just got an email from my landlord that the guy was there to move my shit out because he had been given the wrong address and thought the condo was under foreclosure. She had to assure me that her payments on the condo are up to date and I am not going anywhere. Imagine if I hadn't been home. I'd have come home to nothing in my condo and thought I'd been robbed. That is a scary thought.
• I have so much to do before the holiday. Like unpacking from the weekend and repacking for 5 days. And cleaning my apartment in case someone comes to move me out so they think I am not a slob.
• What the fuck is with people updating their fb statuses to tell me what they are thankful for? Look I don't give a shit. 90% of it is stupid shit. 5% doesn't make sense to anyone but you and your besties. 5% of it is valid. Therefore, I now think you are a vain and shallow person with no clue about the world around you. If that is what you are going for then CONGRATS! GREAT SUCCESS!
• This weekend I took my mom to the UGA football game. We played Kentucky and clinched the SEC East. Awesome right?  Except in the span of 5 minutes, I broke my new iPhone and she lost her new iPhone. Like mother, like daughter, eh? No one should be surprised by me but everyone will be shocked by my mom. That is the last time I take her to a college football game.
• I really wonder what some people do all damn day that they can send me 800+ emails when I have already said I will get the information to them when I get a chance. CHILL THE FUCK OUT MY DAMN OUT OF OFFICE IS ON.
• The only way for me to lose weight is to constantly eat the same damn thing. Every day. I am so bored. Then I flip out from boredom, go to Arbys and order the entire menu and weigh 10 lbs more than I did when I started. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
• Apparently the entire damn company is on vacation this week. Makes my job a little more difficult.
• Dear everyone, I think I am done with weddings after next year. DONE.
• Why the fuck am I watching Knight and Day? I cannot stand Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz is alternately the most annoying fucking actress ever and a slightly tolerable one.
• Why do people try to schedule conference calls for the very next day? I don't know about them but I have a damn job and I'm doing it. Why are people so surprised when I'm unable to speak due to my schedule?

Conversations with my friends

A: Game of choices: choose one to marry, one to fuck, and one to kill... Tebow, Spurrier, and Muschamp.

Me: Fuck Tebow. Marry Muschamp. Kill Spurrier.

A: Ha! I love it! We were playing the game and I figured you would have insight.

Me: Ha well I want to take Tebow's virginity (doggie style of course),Muschamp went to UGA so I can train him to bend to my will and Spurrier is just a douche.

Monday Musings

• Would everyone please just shut the fuck up about this "Scam" Newton thing? (For those of you under a rock, Scam is what anyone outside of the Auburn fanbase has taken to calling Auburn quarterback Cam Newton) If nothing comes of this, you'll look like an ass. Which you already do since your team isn't as good and has a shittier record than Auburn. You just look like a fucking immature, sore loser. And if later on revelations lead to him being stripped of any awards he received this season and Auburn's record being tainted, then we can all have a nice little laugh and pat ourselves on the back for having been the bigger person at the time.
• Getting up in the morning is a lot harder than it used to be. Which I don't get since I now have a big girl job and something to live for. Or so I thought.
• My kitchen sink is clogged. I could have told you that was going to happen since my garbage disposal makes a weird noise and doesn't suck a damn thing down. That finally caught up to me. Unfortunately, that water is just going to hang out there until I clean the apartment because no one is getting past that door until my bras are put away.
• I really, really dislike the new employee in our office. Like I have no common ground and she's fucking dense. Also, asking me the same question over and over again is not going to get you a different answer. Actually, yes, my answer will change in that it will be a lot ruder (is that a fucking word?). I might throw a fucking or shit in there as well.
• Today I did nothing at work. And yet my boss thinks I'm a workaholic. I should have been an actress.
• This. Right. Here:

Make sure you listen for the That's What She Said Moment at around the 1:24 mark. If you go to You Tube watch their booze one too. Pretty classic. I actually really want to try it.

• I missed a deadline on my story. Which I guess I should work on right now. But reviewing educational software seems wayyyyy less fun than trolling the internet.
• I am the most unprofessional person. For instance, today I thought it might be a grand idea to share the link to this blog with one of my vendors (and my phone boyfriend...HIIIIIII TONY). This seems like a not very bright idea to everyone else but fuck it. Won't be the first time my internet shananigans get me into hot water.
• Blogger won't let me spell-check this. Whatever. I'll just spell everything wrong and see how much you enjoy reading it. Which is not possible actually as my degrees in journalism and literature prohibit me from purposefully posting something like that. However, if I speed through this and hit publish before I get a chance to review it mayyyyyybeeeee....

Thirsty Thursday- Malt Beverage Edition

If it hasn't been made glaringly apparent yet, I like alcohol. A lot.

Also, I like college football. A lot.

Combine the two, and well...I'm a shit show, win or lose.

This past weekend, my friend Kelly and I headed to Athens for the UGA- Arkansas game and decided since our week had been so horrendous, we would get some crazy shit to drink. And now I'm going to share my thoughts with you on said crazy shit. You see, I have some very diverse groups of friends back home at the Jersey Shore and here in Atlanta. I absolutely cannot imagine how anyone of them would compare to the others and what would happen if they all got together but sometimes it is fun to bring an activity that one does to the other and see how it goes (see Get Amongst It). Friday was one of those times.

Joose v Four Loko

Joose is a premium malt beverage with 9-12% alcohol content. The guy in BP looked stunned I was buying it (and also whispered to the other guy as I was walking out "I've never seen a white girl purchase that"). According to its packaging, Joose contains caffeine, taurine, ginseng, and certified colors. Joose is available in 23.5 oz cans and are very classy looking (see picture below for evidence of that). Last year they had to prove they were safe and since they're still selling like hotcakes to people who are not white girls, I'm assuming they either did so or they paid a lot of money to pretend they did so. Flavors for the 12% alcohol include fruit punch, green apple, watermelon, raspberry lemonade and wicked lemon tea. I gotta tell you, the shit definitely helped fuck me up. BUT it tasted like ass (I went for Green Apple). I would not recommend to anyone purchasing it unless you're trying to get dressed up for a not white girl party and look the part.

Four Loko is also a premium malt beverage (hence the comparison). Google the shit- apparently people google it quite a bit in conjunction with the word banned. Methinks it might be dangerous but let me read on before I share that with you. It's an alcoholic energy drink available in the same size cans as Joose and in 8 flavors (grape, fruit punch, orange, watermelon, blue raspberry, lemonade, cranberry and cranberry lemonade). I don't know what the hell is going on at Ohio State University but some awesome shit comes out of that school in regards to drinking so maybe I picked the wrong college. Its name is derived from its four other ingredients, caffeine, taurine, guarana, and wormwood, an active ingredient in absinthe. Also, apparently if you are in Indiana it only has 6% alcohol content (fuck going to those schools!). I tried two of the flavors last weekend and I have to tell you one of them(fruit punch) tasted like the worst kind of cough syrup you could buy. Like maybe expired from Walmart brand. Mixed with a vodka tonic though...christ I am really an alcoholic. The grape flavor tastes like cough syrup as well; however, it is tolerable. So if you like sippin on some syzzurp then this is your thing.

Both made me bounce off the walls and behave in ways only the Jackass crowd would be proud of so I would try this out in the comfort of your own home first. Don't go drinking it in public and then being surprised when you're tossed in the slammer. You have been warned.

Things I Would Do if I Had a WEE Bit More Dough

So, I've discussed what I wanted for Christmas 2009 (none of which happened PS), what I would do if I won the lottery (which still hasn't happened...obviously), My Bucket List (none of which I have completed... actually I have no idea), Things that I'm Tired of Hearing About (of which I can add to. Por ejemplo, was it necessary for Kanye and Taylor Swift to sing about that stupid VMA incident a fucking year later? Methinks NO), and shows I would be absolutely AWESOME on (which has not led to me being on said shows. YET). Today, I want to list all the things I would do or buy if I had just a bit more money. Or just a bit less bills. Either way.

1. A dresser. Dude. Seriously. My fucking clothes are stacked up in a fucking pile against the wall. Granted I've divided them out into types (short sleeves shirts, tank tops, jeans, shorts, etc, etc.) but the room looks like a fucking 12 year old boys. Some days I pick things up and sniff them to ensure I'm able to even wear them in public. Yes, I should have been born a guy. I'm also fairly certain you will find me sleeping like so one of these days. Possibly on the side of the street but what the fuck ever.


2. Pole Dancing classes. Yes, I want to be a stripper. One day I want a boy to sing I'm in love with a stripper to me. Oh wait, someone has already done that. Whoops. Anyway, the girl who taught my class in Vegas had a BANGING body. Clearly I want to be her. But less trashy.


3. Attend GA/FL. Stay in a nice house for 4 days. Get hammered. Hang on the beach. Pay Florida to lose (I am only half kidding on that one). Basically enjoy myself without worrying about every last dollar I spend and how many hours of overtime it equals.
   
   
4. Cable TV. Its really shitty watching everything on Hulu (no offense since I'm grateful its around). In fact, I need DVR, HBO and Showtime. And if you don't know why, you don't stop by nearly enough so click here. While I'm at it, a new TV is probably necessary.


5. I would fly home to Jersey, take a weekend to Hilton Head, fly out to California. I would take trips. Vacations are a necessity in life damnit. How else can one get through dead-end jobs?
6. I would have a liquor cabinent in my apartment. Stocked with everything awesome. Wine, beer, bourbon, gin, vodka, rum...all of it. Hmmmm...yummmmm. God just thinking about it makes me thirsty.
7. I'd finally make my doctors appts- dentist, gyno and eye doctor. Yes, I know its horrible to be behind on this. No, I can't afford copays or my deductible. So my teeth are terrible, my hoo ha is empty (omg I half can't belive I just typed that) and my eyes need new contacts STAT.

There is a lot more shit but I'm thinking this needs to be part 1. Part 2 will come later.

What would you do if you had just a little more spare cash?

Thoughtful Tuesday

Tuesday feels like Monday. Monday is Monday Musings. So because Tuesday feels like Monday...thoughtful Tuesday shall commence NOW.

• Why is everyone flipping their fucking lids over Boise State beating Virginia Tech? First off, it's the ACC. Which is like the Diet SEC so simmer down folks. Second, it's the first game of the fucking season. Per usual in college football, anything can happen. If it were the night before the decisions were made for the bowls I could understand some freakout. But it's not. We'll get to a what if scenario if and when it happens.
• Still looking for a job. Every insurance company out there seems interested in me selling for them. At least that is what their automated emails tell me. They also seem to be sure I want to do this judging from their assuming I will be at an interview at such and such time on such and such date. Pretty presumptuous if you ask me.
• I am OBSESSED with Todd Grantham. He was FIRE at the game Saturday. He'd rip into the players when something went wrong and fist pump up and down the sidelines when something went right. He is the complete opposite about showing his emotions when compared with say... the stoic Mark Richt.
• Question I LOATHE the most: "How is the job search going?" Okay, why do people ask this? If it was going well, I'd have interviews at least. If it was going great, I'd have a new job already. Otherwise, its going shitty and I'd rather not be reminded of it. Seriously, think about how you would feel if you were at a dead end job that never managed to pay you on time and struggling to find a new job. You'd hate having people ask it and it makes you feel like the biggest LOSER ever. You'll know when the job search is going well when I post I HAVE A NEW FUCKING JOB.
• On that note, I have an interview today. All that bitching for nothing...and now I'm too lazy to delete it. Let that be a lesson to you.
• I was bored last night. And I don't have cable. So I got sucked into Bachelor Pad. There are two couples I was down with and one of them got sent home. That pissed me off. I'll probably watch it again next week just to see who wins. I hate that about myself. Even when something sucks, I end up watching to the end just to see how it all shakes down.
• You know when your parents told you not to open credit cards? Make sure you listen to that. And if you're a parent, show your kids the WHY. Don't just say it. And maybe show them what to look for in a credit card and what it all means before they head off to college and try it out on their own. Because they won't listen. Trust me on this one.
• If you have daughters, teach them to cook. They should not only be able to make pasta and omelets when they graduate. I don't care if they hate it, they should know how to cook so they don't feel incompetent when they are planning bachelorette parties or invited to pot lucks. They also shouldn't set the smoke alarm off every time they cook or light their apartment on fire cooking shrimp.
• References suck. I know from being people's references and from needing to find references. You can't guarantee someone isn't going to say something the person asking is going to like. Essentially, your job prospect is in someone else's hands. And even people who SAY they will give you a good reference won't always. Also, why have all the jobs lately been asking for personal references. I have NO idea who to put down for that.
• My neighbor's cat went on a RAMPAGE last night at 12:30 am. I don't know what he/she was sleeping or sitting on but she hopped right down and then ran from one end of the apartment to the other for a solid 30 minutes. I swear she was running right into the wall. According to the IT guy at work, Jamie, this is pretty normal for cats. Note: if you have a cat, consider a ground level apartment for the sanity of your neighbors.
• I watched GPTV last night. It was about the Kennedys. And I fell asleep to the end of it meaning I had insanely weird dreams. Do I remember them? Of course not. But I woke up thinking I was in Texas so clearly I was at the assassination just prior to wakeup. I have a weird obsession with the Kennedy family that stems back to my childhood. Apparently nicknaming it Camelot really spoke to the girl I once was. I actually have a book from the 60s about him that I used for a report in third grade which I thought was AWESOME.
• I cannot focus on work knowing I have an interview in an hour and a half.
• Cram time. Catch ya laters.

Thirsty Thursday

So, I'm a little behind on my ESPN the Magazine reading since moving. The whole I couldn't find several issues and then the whole the fucking USPS is taking TEN fucking years to give me a key to my mailbox thing is really a hinderance to the whole thing. But just in time for football season to start up, I read the August 9th issue (only to realize I hadn't read the issue immediately preceding it. Whoops). And thank god I did because living in the South and being the fan of an SEC I'm always at a loss of what to wear to football games. Never fear, dear ones, I bring to you...

Tailgate Couture.

You know the SEC gals like to look sharp at footballs games (guys too though no one gives a shit if they were the same damn outfit for 11 games in a row....or for that matter as many games as it fits and doesn't look like someone shit on the ensemble). Right now, I'm struggling with what to wear because I'm not in college anymore. Is the adorable red and black sundress with UGA flipflops still appropriate attire? Should I be more dressed up? Less dressed up? Personally, I'd be down with a jean skirt and jersey but my friends just haven't hit that point yet. Some of them even wear heels to the game which kills me.

Sometimes, I worry I won't look classy enough at these events. Because God knows, sippin on bourbon and throwin bean bags into a hole is the epitome of class. And you must look your best when participating in activities like chugging beer, scarfing down burgers, flipping cups, filling flasks, falling down drunk in a trash can, making out with randos, screaming at satellite tv when it goes on the fritz during an important rivalry game, dominating beer pong or whatever the fuck it is you people do at a tailgate. You never know, you might meet your future husband at one of these classy events (though its lost some of its lustre now that they banned fun from North Campus).

With dresses from Tailgate Couture, I can go from daytime tailgate drinking to nighttime shots at AllGood Lounge with ease. I'll look as though I went home to change between events (albeit with vomit stains down the front but it adds character, bitches). You have five dresses to choose from and can customize the colors any way you'd like.

For the classy, I-have-a-wedding-to-attend-post-noon-game kickoff, we have the Ashley Mini ($84). This dress can totally be worn again. In fact, why not make it your next bridesmaids dress?

For the I'm-still-totally-getting-where-Avril-is-coming-from seven pm game, we have the Jessica Ruffle dress (Also $84). Looks great with unkempt, I-didn't-have-time-to-shower-before stumbling-to-this-east-bumble-tailgate location hair.

For the I-drank-too-fucking-much-last-night-and-may-or-may-not-be-pregnant 3 pm game, we have the Cammy Tee dress (an affordable $76 bucks). Bitch for $10 bucks at Walmart you could buy a black tshirt and some ribbon and make a much cuter dress. If you were feeling broke and crafty. I'm just saying.

And why the fuck do these girls look miserable?

I WANT THIS!

Ummm who needs a water bra when you can purchase a booze bra?!?!

In the spirit of Thirsty Thursday, I thought I might make a list of places I would wear this bad boy. Here we go:

• Shopping. Some girls love it. Me, not so much. It may have to do with the fact that I am virtually penniless or perhaps the fact that the sizes those no talent clothing assholes expect us to fit into are UNREAL, but shopping for me is like a punishment. Online shopping on the otherhand...anyway, just think, dress is too tight in the boobs? No problem, suck some soco out of your tits. Dress is too big in the boobs, fill 'em up with some 151 (you know, so you'll take your time sucking the shit out).
• Sporting Events. I don't attend a ton of these but when I do go, JESUS, it's highway robbery how much these people charge us for beer! A beer, people! Even at a Gwinnett Braves game, the crap is JUST OUT OF my reach. So, I just pack accordingly by filling my bra up with some Coors Light. Kind of like those awesome blue mountains, my nipples will tell you if its Ice Cold. And college footballs games clearly don't serve booze which is a crime in itself. Don't get me wrong, I like a sober football game as much as the next guy (or gal as the case may be) but why be sober when you can be drunk? Plus think of all the ass I'd pull.
• PTA Meetings. Why the hell would anyone want to subject themselves to this. Look, I know one day I'm going to think my little snot-nosed brat is the cutest damn thing in the world and I'll be so impressed she managed to, I don't know, walk up the stairs without tripping or go potty all by herself (and only after I bribe her with hairbows or something), but the idea of sitting in chairs that were uncomfortable when I was her age (and hiking uphill, both ways, in the snow, barefoot, in june, carrying my brother on my back...) does not sound appealing at all. Add in principals, who I'm fairly certain I'll dislike no matter my age, and I have a feeling I'll need a cosmo or two to get through it. "I'd like tooooo,belllllchhhhhhhhhh, make a motion to....ssslerve b-b-b-oooze at sfoootball gamessss..." All those in favor?
• My kids sporting events. I can picture it now, not only am I the parent totally into her kid's game but I'm also so hammered it's comical. Join me as I picture my future now: Teetering on oh-so impractical Jessica Simpson wedges, wearing a tank top (with my child's picture pin pinned to the front, of course!), some short shorts or maybe capris if it's chilly. Stumbling up and down the soccer field, yelling at my child to BE AGGRESSIVE, B-E AGGRESSIVE. Of course, I'd give up on that little diddy when I realized I couldn't spell aggressive due to the margaritas I have been sucking from my own tit. Did I mention, the left boob is deflated since I emptied it out?
• Job Interviews. God, when you are in the waiting room...so intense. The butterflies make you want to puke everywhere. Why not calm it all down and get your game face on by taking a nip of Jack D and coke before you head into that office and knock their socks off? In the process, your personality is IMPROVED and your knockers are looking nice. Hey, if it gets you hired, it gets you hired. And when you show up to work without big boobs, they can't say a word, can they? If they do...well, a sexual harrassment lawsuit will fatten that wallet nicely.
• Anywhere on Sunday so long as I live in the South. Seriously. EVERYWHERE. To the grocery store, to the park, to the gym...anywhere and everywhere so I'm never without booze.
• Anywhere sobriety is a requirement. I once went to a dry wedding. And tailgated. And brought in a bottle of orange juice spiked with vodka because "I'm diabetic and I don't want to go into shock, you know." This would make that much easier for me. Plus, men would be rooting for the girl with red wine spilling from her chest to catch the bouquet. I'd be the coolest guest ever.

*Look how happy the bitch in the picture looks. I want to be that happy!

**Clearly, I'm joking here people. It's not entirely acceptable to do any of these things so I'd probably refrain but in a perfect world...

I Need a Drink..

It's only 8:29 am and despite my tweet claiming I was going to make this day a great one...I gotta tell you I made a big mistake logging onto AJC.com while the claims were printing.

As if I'm not embarrassed enough by Damon Evan's ridiculous behavior, now the NCAA has said they will be investigating my beloved DAWGS. Hot on the heels of a recruit at DAWG NIGHT being photographed by a blogger with one of our coaches, a party in Miami was allegedly attended by 45 college football players one of which TMZ and every sporting website out there is claiming was AJ Green.

I'm upset about the allegations being made in the first place but what is really grinding my gears are the comments under Tim Tucker's blog. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? And by these people, I mean UGA fans, Tech fans, random people not affiliated with any team, Bama fans, Florida fans... So much negativity is spouted off. So many people acting like they know what the fuck they are talking about when they clearly haven't got a clue. So much finger pointing. The blame game on in full effect. And yet, not a single iota of proof of wrong doing has been found yet. They just want to question some of the players and have asked that coaches, players and athletic departments refrain from commenting at this time. But don't worry, anyone with access to the fucking internet will feel free to comment. Below, a few of my favorites:

Thomp July 21st, 20106:33 pm
AJ close all those checking accounts! Put the money under the mattress! Pay cash for everything!

GT79 July 21st, 20106:52 pm
Ha Ha Ha…..Rumor has it that many UGA athletes were carousing with agents with red panties on…..Georgia football is such a cesspool……Go Tech…..we will kick your leg humping butts in Athens this year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

makai July 21st, 20107:25 pm
Will someone give the Techsters their blog URL so maybe they will not be on ours. Wait—maybe there is no one on their blog so they have to go somewhere else. Maybe it is like high school or every Friday/Saturday night since college—4 lonely walls and a blow-up girl friend.

Alabama Communist July 21st, 20107:32 pm
More Breaking News On High Power NCAA 007 Investigation!
The Temp AD at UGA said today, it was not the NCAA that asked for access to the GA campus, but Homeland Security was the agency that inquire for access to the campus claiming that Muslin Agents were promising UGA players 77 Virgins if they sign with them……A Spokenperson with Homeland Security said if this was true, college football was funding the terrorism war by massive pep rallies and dumb supporters at the Southern Universities……..which flys into the face of Redneck Republican beliefs

Gail in Acworth July 21st, 20108:27 pm
Nothing that happens in Athens should surprise anyone. UGA is one big party school represented by semi-literate drunken thugs and goons, and the officials who work in the athletic office are no better.
The Cesspool of the South, a name that is richly deserved.

Ms. Chokesondick July 21st, 20108:34 pm
I seen all them Tech players at da pardie! It wudn’t hard to spots dem. Dey awl had calcalaters in der pocket pretectors and dey wuz talkin bout whut ordur dey wuz gunna use der condom in.

RobertHallGTsmackshos July 21st, 20109:45 pm
AJ was at the party!!!! several hos approached him and ROBERT HALL from GEORGIA TECH damn near beat the ho’s to death. Blood coming out of their mouths and nostrils. ROBERT HALL hasn’t been suspended yet. That’s OK, he doesn’t “RUN THIS STATE” and GEORGIA TECH players can really kick the crap out of women and fellow ACC competitors.

Jan Kemp July 21st, 20109:58 pm
They may never graduate, but we’ll make garbage men out of them. UGA, bringing in barely literate football recruits since 1970!

Micheals L.N.Y July 21st, 201010:08 pm
Where there is smoke, there is fire, red panties, and vodkatinis for all! I am amazed UGA can’t make it 1 week anymore without makingthe negative section of the national news…

GT79 July 21st, 201010:18 pm
You techies – you are the one that brought up penis envy……i am betting you can more than just imagine it……you pencil d*cked leg humper……your program is so pathetic. I cannot believe a half decent guy like CMR hangs around this cesspool of a school…….I am sure there are plenty of more Damon Evans types in your athletic program…..I am so glad to be a proud Tech alum and fan and not in possession of a piece of toilet paper with UGa printed on it.

BigCaliDawg July 21st, 201010:45 pm
I don’t know about the panties, but I bet Coach Johnson rocks a red bra.

GT for life July 21st, 201011:24 pm
I thought this was the convict blog-oh but it is-georgias most wanted

jim July 21st, 201011:39 pm
most asked question for uga players-whos the babys daddy

benny July 22nd, 20104:58 am
Well Gollllllllllllllly. Soopriise, soopriise, soopriise. Duh SEC roools agin. Dah pay em to play em SEC. I played at a major school and was thrilled to have a scholarship. The players are not victims. They are just greedy and the athletic departments are looking the other way. College fotball was once about sports. Now, it is like the NFL and not about sports. It is a business. The bottom line. Almost like wrasslin is a bidness and not sports. Must be Bush’s fault.

buzzforareason July 22nd, 20107:29 am
Hey did you hear the one where the Tech fan blew his head off after the latest UGA pounding? I did, it was hilarious. Bug parts everywhere.

buzzforareason July 22nd, 20107:30 am
Did you know the only panties a Tech man ever sees are his own moms?

Damon Evans July 22nd, 20107:52 am
why don’t we take em out drinking and hook em up with some white women…panty down…oops I mean party down

Joe Hamilton GT Great July 22nd, 20108:00 am
I hope no one brings up my DUI, hit & run, possession of marijuana convictions! And please don’t mention the GT athletes that have been arrested for rape and for physically assaulting women! Furthermore please don’t mention the fact that Georgia Tech recently came off NCAA probation for academic cheating involving 19 student athletes (11 starting football players) who had their grades raised so that they could remain academically eligible to play.
Please remember we don’t cheat at GT…LMAO

K-dawg July 22nd, 20108:22 am
lets clean up the program CMR! Kick AJ off the team and set the tone, send a message!.

I guess my main issue is we're living in America. Supposedly these posters live here and got some form of education (be it elementary, middle, high, ged, college...whatever). Last I checked, here in America we follow the ideal of INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. And yet, checking this message board it sounds like not only does that not apply to college athletes but also that it automatically allows for every idiot with a keyboard to make fun of you and apply any shit that went down in your program to this situation. Don't get me wrong, there were some people pulling facts from other sources and calling for intelligent conversation about what should be done, who may or may not have been there and how this affects college football as a whole. Those same people weren't making nasty cracks at anyone. I don't understand why people get on someone's blog and make nasty comments having no relevance to the actual topic. It really gets me worked up!

Am I the only one completely turned off of blogs based on the commentary of it's readers? It stings A LOT when the blog is about something that negatively impacts my school but add in the negative comments and I get PISSED!

Monday Musings

Today I would like to leave you with a list of things I'm so fucking tired of hearing about. In other words, the I don't give a shit list.

• Chick-fil-a's NEW spicy chicken sandwich. I know you all tried it FOR FREE. I don't want to see every fucking status on facebook about it. Imagine people who have no Chick-fil-a's. I bet they are sick of it too. It's a sandwich with hot sauce people. It's like christmas in June for the South. It should not take hours to pick up your sandwich because thousands are stopping in to try it. Traffic should not be stopped on my street for a chicken sandwich. Call me when you create a sandwich that tastes better than any other and helps me LOSE weight. Then I might be giddy.
• SEC Expansion? Will it or won't it happen? Look I'm a huge DAWGS fan and I want what's best for my conference but I don't want to read your take on who might go where. You live in the suburbs, you work a dead-end job, probably you dislike your children 40% of the time, and you never played football nor do you have any connections to any of said football programs other than the fact that you attend or watch every game. And even you so-called in-the-know guys and gals (I'm looking at you Tony Barnhart) don't know jack shit. So cut the speculation and let's just wait for the shit to be ironed out.
• Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber. Do I even need to go into detail on this one?
• Obama. Love him or hate him? I don't give a shit. Your ideas of what he shoulda/coulda/woulda don't mean jack diddly so stop tweeting them, blogging them and facebook statusing them.
• Your children. Oh good lord- I don't care if they pooped, raised their head, discovered a new planet at age 3. Your children are not entertaining in the slightest and to be honest you're immediate family is the only one who cares. Try creating a people who think my baby is cute google group and send out mass emails to those people.
• Weddings. I don't like attending them. I don't want to hear about the planning process unless I ask you directly. Even then, I'm just trying to be polite. And for those of you wondering, I will recap this weekend's festivities at some point.
• The World Cup. Be honest, you don't care either except you could maybe bet some money. You don't watch soccer on the reg so don't act like you do.
• Your stupid ass car decals announcing your initials. You know what you actually just announced to me? You just let me know you care more about how your car looks driving down the highway than actually how it drives down the highway. Also, you are a shitty driver. Let's just clear that up right now. You cut people off, drive too slow, think blinkers are a waste of time and generally just do anything but pay attention to the road or anyone who might have somewhere to fucking be. So thanks for the heads up there, cupcake. That goes double for you, stick figure family waving cheekily at me as I sit in traffic cursing my luck.
• BP and the Oil Spill. Okay, I get it. Animals and the ecosystem are at stake because those greedy bastards at British Petroleum made a decision that would (if all had gone as planned) save them millions. I know, it appears they don't give a shit. They only sent 7 men to start the cleanup in Florida! For christ's sake, it happened and now we need to deal with it. What I don't need to deal with is an obnoxious commentator telling me that Obama appears to not give a shit because it took him 40+ days to fly down there AND he showed up in dress slacks, a button down and tie. How insensitive of him. Rather than wasting my time and your breaths critiquing stupid shit, let's focus on getting this mess under control already. BP isn't getting the damn thing done so someone else step the fuck in and let them foot the bill. I don't mean to sound callous but seriously people, you are focusing on the wrong things.
• Ballers behaving badly. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Fuck that. What is it with these people thinking they are entitled to behave any way they want and suffer no consequences? They do drugs, cheat on their spouses, assault girls (alledgedly), run dog fighting rings and beat the ever living shit out of people in public. They have absolutely no regard for anyone but themselves. And why is this? Because we let them get away with it. Listen shithead, you make millions of dollars to do something you love and excel at. Part of the job description requires that you keep your ass in line. So get with the fucking program already.

Football Friday

Dear ESPN,

I am taking time out of my extremely busy schedule of stuffing envelopes, printing files and data entry to write you a letter expressing my concern over your programming decisions- specifically those of your assignments editor. I know this may come as a shock to you and your employees but outside of Bristol, Connecticut and Gainseville, FL we do not give a flying fuck about the second coming of Christ known commonly here on earth as Tim Tebow.

Now, I don't want to wake up to Tim Tebow in any way shape or form. Any day, time or place. But it is especially frustrating that I have to wake up to Saint Tim at 5 am while getting my work out on. Don't you think I'm pissed enough that I am up at that ungodly hour working my ass off to fit in my pants? If you are going to continue your banal blather extolling the virtues of an overrated douchebag (actually his douchebaggary is not overrated...just everything else about him) then I suggest you cease showing Sports Center on repeat from 11 pm to 7 am every damn day. Imagine the horror if you left your TV on and woke up in the middle of the night to see the goofy mug of Saint Tim on your TV screan. Scarred for life I tell you.

I know ESPN has been Saint Timmy's biggest cheerleader and why not? His image is so good for football fodder: home schooled boy with natural talent signs up for football team at local high school, goes on to the University of Florida and behind a talented team helmed a journey to both a Heisman trophy and a National Championship. All while promoting a vision of God and greatness. He is the perfect football idol for small children.

Except, that in your unabashed 24/7 promoting of him even when he's not playing we've all grown SICK OF HIM. His name literally makes me want to vomit...EVERYWHERE. I curse viciously. Instead of being impressed by his talent, I find myself laughing with glee when he stumbles. Actively searching for stories about his shortcomings. It's hard to feign interest in someone who has overtaken the very sport he plays. And the constant comparisons to other players...BLEH. Greatest player ever? He hasn't even tried his hand at pro football. And let's just say, the boys you tend to fawn over in college ain't doing so grand in the pros currently. They haven't really blown up like you predicted.

The guy got a 22 on the Wunderlic test for fuck's sake. He's had to change his throwing motion before even attending the combine. What he's good at is drawing a crowd so the Buffalo bills might want to hit that up quick like. The funniest thing to me is scanning the media stories about him. Check out the comments: if Tebow is football's most popular player and should be brought to NYC for the draft so he can be on TV why is he so hated on the message boards. If people love him so much, why is he so ridiculed. Why are there drinking games MAKING FUN OF THE MEDIA'S PORTRAYAL OF HIM?

For Tim Tebow's sake (and my reflux) step it down a notch. I don't need to hear about Tim Tebow during March Madness, or NASCAR, or anything else. Until he proves himself at the next level, let's dial down your adoration a notch. The draft is coming up and you've spent more time on someone who may not even get picked until Sunday over guys who have really stepped up their game and will be first-rounders. It's utterly ridiculous. And no amount of your preaching is going to make me like the guy more.

Sincerely,

Berryfine

PS. I thought about putting facts and figures and shit in here but there are people who don't watch football who read this crap so I thought maybe I'd cut that out.

PPS. Same goes for Tiger. Seriously. He fucked up, he likes sex, he's kind of a dick and he's great at his sport. We get it.