Monday Musings

This edition of Monday Musings has a theme. Ya'll know I love themes. Ya'll also know I love hunting for a job (oh wait...no). And just to slam some further unrelated knowledge on you, Ya'll is misspelled. I love being in the south (another lie). It's Y'ALL in case you use this phrase a lot. In fact, I'm pretty sure I blogged about that before. Wait, here it is. Anyway, today's theme is television shows that could use a little shambles in them (as in...me..starring...on... tv. Thanks to the interviewer who decided that was the only job I could handle).

1. Rookie Blue. Not because I would make a kickass cop (ummm I would) but because I want a sex scene with Ben Bass. Who is 42. Which is 8 years younger than my dad. See how I did that? I don't need no stinkin' shrink to tell me I have Daddy issues!


2. True Blood. I think seeing certain people on set naked 24/7 would be amazing. I'm not sure what I would add to the show but I do have a flair for cursing and if getting between the sheets with Alexander Skaarsgard is a requirement, clearly I'm meant to be on the show.



3. The Bachelor. I'd be the bitchy, no nonsense one. I would hold out but make all the chicks think I did the deed with the guy. Then, when all of you (who are clearly in on my plan) talked all the time about me and ABC producers offered me another show, I'd say no. This is of course, after the guy falls madly in lust with me and I turn him down in the final rose ceremony. Even better, I hope he tries to catch up with the bitch he already sent packing.



4. Community. YESSSSS. I was great at college. And I would be even better now. I'd have to dumb myself down so I could handle community college but lets be honest, I could just show up drunk and act ridiculous and they'd probably just stop writing a script. They'd just let me and Joel and crew go to town. Which would make it the best show ever. Plus I speak some Spanish so obviously, I could help with this rap:


5. Cougar Town. I'd be the new bitch on the block. I'd be so threatening to Courtney Cox's character. Her ex would fall in love with me and we'd date, her current beau (and one of my many crushes) would say my name during a love session with her and maybe her son would think of me as her new idol. Of course, I would be blissfully unaware of the pain I'm inflicting and immune to Courtney's attempts to sabotage my life.




6.The League. I like to imagine all kinds of scenarios involving me in the show. Usually they involve lots of interaction with Jon Lajoie. Because I adore him. Go here to watch videos because they disabled embedding. Bitches. Oh wait, my college education just allowed me to figure out how. Hold please. Don't fuck with me FX.


7. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Do I really need to explain this? I know it will shock you but the cast is all married to other people who have appeared on the show so this one is simply for reasons previously stated.


Clearly, I would be excellent on any show that would have me but these are ones I would ENJOY being on. And let's be honest, I'm all about integrity and shit.