Do you have a place you go just to get laid? I don't intentionally go to mine, but every time I have gone to a particular bar (which I plan to cover in a different post) I always end up going home with someone.
Or just as far as the car.
The Whatever and I had been, well....whatever for a while when we decided to go into downtown Atanta from his townhouse in the burbs. We met up with some of his buddies and got dinner and watched the Arizona State- UGA football game. Then we went and caught Who's Bad. We won the game and The Whatever and I were TRASHED. At the end of the night, we had lost the group and thought we would just go grab his keys from the valet and figure it out from there. Unfortunately, we thought wrong.
The valet had closed up shop and left a sticker on the car stating we would need to pick our keys up at 11 am the following morning.
Not that I remember any of this.
You see I woke up at 8 am fucking FREEZING with the sky above me and NO FUCKING PANTS ON.
NO PANTS ON!?!?!
I immediately did the Did I just have Sex last night check and discovered.... Yes, Yes I did.
I woke up in the bed of The Whatever's Toyota Tacoma with no fucking pants on, shivering my ass off in the back parking lot of a fucking bar.
Yes, yes, I am a slut.
The best The Whatever and I can figure is we got back and discovered we couldn't get his keys (where the fuck would we have gone anyway?) and then I ran through my phone for friends in Atlanta. None of who picked up that were willing or able to drive. We decided we would sleep in the bed of the truck and get the keys when the valet showed up in the morning. Well... I don't know if you've ever tried sleeping in the bed of a truck but let me tell you...
IT'S NOT FUCKING COMFORTABLE. AT ALL.
And I was horny. And drunk enough not to give a shit where we had sex or who saw me. Hell, he could have stripped me in the bar and I would have said, "Yes, please, may I have another."
From the random, black out flashbacks that have returned to me slowly, we tried cuddling as comfortably as possible and then after a few minutes decided we might as well take advantage of this ridiculous situation and fuck. So... we did. It was messy and so not comfy and I think in the end I had to ride him to hell and back so we could finish. I had bruises on both knees and elbows (apparently we tried doggy style?). But damnit, I know for a fact that I am the only girl my Whatever has fucked in the bed of a truck in the back parking lot of a bar. Classy? Not so much. Memorable (even through a drunken blackout)? Fuck yes.
So you're probably wondering how that story ended, huh? Turns out the valet doesn't return to that parking lot. And you can't get the keys from the location he does go to until 11. We ended up at Ihop trying to sleep in a booth and giggling because we had sex in a parking lot and didn't get caught. Then we got kicked out of Ihop and had to return to the truck to wait 2 more hours. Then we realized we didn't know where the fuck the keys would be. Two hours later we figured it out and walked a mile to get the keys and a mile back to the truck. Suffice to say after we drove 30 minutes home, we crashed in his bed and then ordered chinese and a movie.
Have you broken in the bed of a truck before? Sex in a parking lot? Would you be embarrassed by this story or ashamed (I'm fucking ecstatic. I think it's awesome.)?
1 comment:
Then clearly you need awesome lessons. Just kidding. I think I would have preferred just to give and get some head in the truck...just to get off and then go to sleep. Foreplay for later.
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