Confirmation! I really WOULD be superfantastic on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia!

Seriously, I got told this SO much while I was out of town! By people who do not read my blog or know of my desire to be on the damn show. I might actually write a letter and maybe have a petition signed to be on the damn thing. I'm a funny bitch. Sometimes. And I'm lazy. And I pretty much hate my life. And I'm selfish and these are all qualities that would allow me to be on the show.

The funniest part was we were in some random store in Boston and I was talking to my cousin and some guy overheard our convo (of which I have no idea what the fuck I said but I'm sure I was offensive) and started cracking up. Guffawing really. Okay not really, I just like that word. It conjures the image of a jackass with giant ears laughing. Now make it my face and you can laugh too. Braying really. Another great word for laughter. Maybe that should be a separate post. Am I ADD? Jesus.

I digressed.

Anyway, the guy followed me around the damn store and as I was about to leave stopped me to tell me I should really consider stand up and maybe a guest spot on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. My jaw literally hit the fucking floor. Are you for serious buddy? And he turned to two of his friends and was like "Am I right? Isn't that what she makes you think of?" And they both agreed with him. It was so strange to hear what I know in my heart to be true.

I am funny damnit. And completely inappropriate. And offensive. Ask my home girl Ally. I don't know how she hasn't slugged me for my slightly racist comments followed by backpedaling. Followed by, "Well, you're not really black anyway. You're like Puerto Rican. Or Domincan. Or something else." Which I recall being completely floored by in the first place.

Yes. Please and Thank You.



Just the life I've been looking for. And living. Without cameras.



I could think of stupid shit like this. Or make something better. For example, that damn Snuggie? It needs velcro or a tie to close it because when you sit in a chair and lean forward your back gets cold. Also, no more one size fits all. I swear to god if I trip over the damn thing one more time, I'll die. AND, why not some of those mitton things with the fingerless gloves cause when I'm typing in my snuggie my hands get cold. Last but not least, pockets. Where the hell does the cellphone go? See, I'm brillz. Or something.