What The Fuck?

I’ve already told you about Naked Chic and discussed who works out at 5 am at Gold’s Gym Lawrenceville. Today, I bring you WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT SHOWER STALL.

So, here’s the deal, I probably need to update the Who Works Out At Gold’s Gym so that I can include Locker Room Bitch but that will have to happen another day. Just know that She. Is. A. Bitch. End of discussion.

So we usually end up in the locker room around the same time and hit the showers at the same time. The set up at Gold’s Gym is individual shower stalls with floor to ceiling walls and a door leading out into the hall. So basically, if a door is open, no one is in it. If it’s closed…well, good luck figuring that out. I have actually stood outside a door with my ear pressed to it trying to determine if someone was in that shower or the one next to it. And yes, it got me weird looks.

Anyway, today I’m in the shower (pause while you pervs imagine it and the rest of you go ew get to the point). I’m just washing my hair, relaxing after a tough workout when suddenly I hear a noise coming from the stall next to me. Locker Room Bitch and I are the only ones in the locker room at this point so I know it’s her. It’s not really a bang but not really a tap either and it happens three to five consecutive times and then stops. Washing the suds out of my hair and it comes again. Using my favorite body scrub on my legs and I hear it again. By now, I’m kind of annoyed.

Look, I know a locker room isn’t exactly quiet. You got the TV blaring and some shit music that Gold’s Gym thinks makes people work out harder playing over the speakers. Add in someone blow drying their hair or a group class chattering away and it gets pretty loud in there. But the showers are off to the side and the individual rooms afford you some sense of privacy. You can hear the showers running but other than that you usually don’t hear the person in the stall next to you.

It’s one of my favorite things about the gym. I love to just stand there in the shower a few minutes in the morning and just stretch and relax and let the water work the tension out of my muscles. It’s pretty peaceful…until you hear the THUD THUD THUD THUD from the next stall. Not once, not twice but a total of 15 times while I was in the shower (for a total of 7 minutes tops). At one point I slammed my face wash down because I was annoyed my relaxation had been interrupted. I highly doubt that if she heard it, she gave a shit. I know it’s stupid but I just feel like you should have respect for others in the locker room- clean up after yourself, don’t hog the counterspace and keep your fucking noise to a reasonable level. I really don’t understand how anything you do in the shower* could make that kind of noise level at all. Was she shaving and trying to get the stubble off her razor? That’s what water is for people. Rinsing. Was she running low on shampoo and trying to get the last drops out? Time to invest in a new bottle. I know you make more money than I do so I know you can afford some new shit.

My question for you is WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING IN THERE?

*scratch that, sex in the shower (when done right) gets pretty damn noisy.