Motivation is the activation or energization of goal-orientated behavior.
Recently, motivation is something I have struggled with. Many of you may say, "But Berryfine! You've been to the gym EVERY day this week!" Well, in my humble opinion motivation isn't just getting your ass out there. It's getting your ass out there and pushing it a step farther than its ever gone. It's sweating buckets upon buckets upon buckets (oh, hey Adam). It's feeling the pain and asking for more. It's going harder, faster, longer (Good lord, this sounds like the prologue to a porno). So just because one gets up and goes to the gym every day doesn't mean they are motivated.
For example, this week (so far- still two days left to fuck it up) I've gone to the gym every day. Even on Wednesday when I decided I'd rather sleep till six since I was working from home. At noon, I took a lunch break and hit the apartment gym while my laundry was in the washer. And the dryer for that matter. Some of you may be thinking, "That's pretty damn motivated" but in actuality it's not. You see, even though I was going to the gym every day it's like something was off. My eating SUCKED- I craved every bad thing you could imagine and could not say no (thanks Mother Nature. Some of you get that...some of you don't). My running? Ha! Running? yesterday I barely did a mile before I thought walking might be more my speed. My personal training sessions went a little like this:
Cassandra: Give me 15 pushups.
Berryfine....groans. Stretches... brings up another subject. Does 5 pushups. Drops to the ground on the pretense of adjusting her sleeves. Does 5 more pushups and then just sits at the top staring at the ground cursing life in general. Another pushup. Glares at Cassandra. Two more half assed pushups. And suddenly Cassandra is saying I've done 15. No way I did 15, she's just fucking TIRED of wasting our time on something I clearly have no desire to do despite paying her 25 bucks a session for just that.
Where the hell did my motivation go? I'm not the only one struggling with this issue either. It makes me feel better to know someone else is wondering what the hell happened but I feel like a failure. My body can DO this, my mind is just not feeling it. At. All. In essence, I have just been going through the motions.
According to various theories, motivation may be rooted in the basic need to minimize physical pain and maximize pleasure, or it may include specific needs such as eating and resting, or a desired object, hobby, goal, state of being, ideal, or it may be attributed to less-apparent reasons such as altruism, selfishness, morality, or avoiding mortality.
This morning, I woke up with a fleeting thought of what I had decided last night. I will run 6 miles today. Despite not having done any kind of longish run since the week after my half marathon, I had decided last night that my body needed some shock therapy in the form of 6 fucking miles on a fucking treadmill (pardon my f-bombs but let's be serious they were necessary). On the way to the gym, I thought of what kind of workout I might do today instead of 6 miles. And the minute I hit the treadmill I said to myself, "Fuck motivation. I don't need it. I will run 6 miles without it." To me, it could have been the slowest 6 miles in the world. It. Was. Going. To. Happen.
And it did.
I ran 6 miles in 60 minutes while watching ESPN News, my gym crush pump iron and the random chick who looks like a duck do her version of a workout. In letting go of trying to find my motivation and JUST DOING it, I was able to in essence, get my motivation back. Something along of the lines of loving something and letting it go or whatever that saying is.
So tell me, what motivates you? Is your motivation ever-changing? What do you do when it runs off with your drive and desire?
6 comments:
loved this! I was thinking about this last night. My runs lately have pretty much just been me getting the miles done. Well last night I actually RAN (as opposed to slogged through) my 6 miles and loved it.
Yay Tricia! Love it- it really makes a huge difference. The feeling of a run when you are motivated is totally different than the feeling of a run when you are just getting the thing done.
Whatever - you're totally jealous of my sweat producing ability.
NICE! I was super motivated today too. I wonder what it was about Friday?
Usually I sign up for a race or buy a runners world when I am in a slump. That usually gets me going. I was super un-motivated about a month ago, so I developed a training plan and that helped a TON.
I too sign up for a race that scares the crap out of me. Then I get on a training plan with a specified pace for each run. I see not hitting those paces as cracking open the door to failure. Failure is not an option. Wow, not too uptight am I?
My freaking freaky health issues! I totally understood what you meant when you talked about motivation coming from the desire to get rid of pain. I literally "came out" about it in my blog post this morning. This is my first time visiting you and have enjoyed reading your blog.
Judy thanks! I just tried to add your blog and cannot get to it :(
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