Thursday, July 22, 2010

You're Not a Slut If...

Welcome to the first round of You're Not a Slut If... kind of like You Might Be a Redneck If... but better because...well it's about sex. So clearly, it's better.

Anyway.

You're Not a Slut If... YOU KNOW HIS LAST NAME.




Obviously, if you were able to glean his last name then you put more effort into it. Let's be honest, SLUTS don't have time to learn last names. Plus their mouths are too full of dick to talk. Even if you managed to fuck him prior to knowing his last name, if you make the effort to find out before you walk out of the door then you are not a slut.

And he doesn't even have to tell you what it is. Feel free to rifle through his wallet, search for a diploma or listen real hard when he's talking to his friends who probably use his last name in salutations.

Today, I became not a slut with gym crush. Completely by accident I discovered his last name and I am damn happy that when we cheat I'll be able to google him. That's always important- the ability to internet stalk your sex partners.

How did I find out his name? Well, Gold's Gym had an issue with their internet so all their members were forced to sign in on a piece of paper. Luckily, I was running late to the gym and was able to scan the list for the Mike who walked in just ahead of me. Now, when I make my list, I can refer to him by his first and last name. Which is clutch to my Not Feeling Like a Slut strategy.

No comments: