I thought since I'm hopping back into the dating saddle (okay not hopping...ummm dipping my pinkie toe into the shallow end of the pool I guess would be a more appropriate analogy) that I would reflect on past dating dilemmas. Maybe mull them over, ask your opinions, etc. Today, what's on my mind? Why, sex of course.
As we all know, I've been a big proponent of dating backwards simply because I've always been drunk/stupid/needy or whatever the case may be. So, clearly, I've had no issue sleeping with someone on or even before the first date. BUT...let's say I was a more traditional sort.
How soon is too soon to start the discussion on your sexual proclivities? For instance, I once went on a date with a guy who asked me if I like anal. On the first date. I was kind of unsure how to answer that one as I've never had someone ask me outright like that. Needless to say, we did not have a second date and I've always wondered if it was because I was unwilling to address my willingness (or unwillingness) to be sexually adventuresome.
In my opinion, if you're doing the traditional dating thing, discussing ones likes or dislikes between the sheets is a little premature on the first date. If you're lips haven't locked with mine I would rather not tell you what goes on when I spread my legs. Hell, you may never have the chance to find out so probably you should work on the whole build up (foreplay if you will) before you decide to get straight to business. Let me tell you, you asking me if I like anal, if I'll give you a blow job or telling me you want to cum in my face is not endearing you to me. And it is definitely not upping your chances of ever finding out first hand what I like. Whether I want those things or not, it shows to me you're not looking for a relationship, you're looking for a sex toy.
On the other hand, maybe you're asking because you're very sexual and you need to know if I am, too. I can see you not wanting to waste your time on someone who would turn their nose up on what brings you pleasure. But again, I just am not sure asking someone that on the first date is really the way to go. And what if I say no to anal because I've never had anyone ask me to do that with them? Then you could be missing out on something because you're thinking if I haven't done it I wouldn't be interested.
What are your thoughts? Have you been asked what your sexual preferences are on the first date? When is the appropriate time to start asking those questions?
1 comment:
I'm definitely late to this party and sorry that things didn't work out with The (Warped) Commercial Banker! I actually feel fine talking about it on a first date to determine if there's general compatibility. But, oddly, I like it to be a general discussion, rather than a specific talk about what one of us would do to the other one. I guess if the conversation seems easy and logical, then that's good. Otherwise, it's too soon.
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