The First and I had a hell of a breakup (and rollarcoaster relationship as well) and I decided a total reevaluation of my life was in order (this is called a Guyatis which I will have to tell you about at a later date). The end of said Guyatis was on March 17. Which happens to be my favorite holiday (St. Patrick's Day for you none drinkers). Which happened to be on Spring Break my junior year. How did I celebrate this momentous occassion?
Ummm, sex. Duh.
The Spring Break Guy was, of course, a one night stand. I met him at the pool of our hotel in Daytona Beach, FL. I was there with 6 friends and went a little crazy (as girls tend to do on spring break. Throw in post-breakup and well you have the makings for a Girls Gone Wild video). Anyway, chillin by the pool we were all drinking vodka mixed drinks and having a good time. This very attractive, very tan guy with a six pack, blond hair and blue eyes was joking around with me in the pool. He was extremely impressed with my giant ass 60 oz+ jug of booze I was toting around from hotel room to beach to pool and back again. After an afternoon of boozing led to an evening of more boozing and somehow the two of us were running up and down hallways of the hotel laughing like loons and singing Hos in different area codes (based on the fact that our room number was an Atlanta area-code). After some hot and heavy making out...
And groping...
And nipping...and licking...
Spring Break guy tugged me into a bathroom.
Yes, a fucking bathroom.
And into the handicapped stall (appropriately enough we were both handicapped by booze). A quick flick of the wrist had the stall locked. And then he was pulling me down to straddle him and we were making out. Soon my top was on the floor (were we in the girls or guys bathroom? No fucking clue). Everything is pretty much a hazy, pleasure filled memory at this point but I remember suddenly feeling a dick and liking it (duh).
Why on earth had I taken a guyatis when I could be doing this all the time? By this, I don't mean sex in bathrooms (though shit like that is fun for never have I ever as my college friends can attest to). I will say, it is DIFFICULT to fuck on a toilet (not to mention disgusting now that I am an adult). First, 99% chance your legs aren't long enough so you end up on your tip toes and he has to thrust upward (though I later learned if I had just faced the other way this would have been a helluva lot easier- but where is the fun in that?). Second, it's tiring on the ol legs so you better be prepared not to finish, or be on the cusp before you even start because working that hard is going to ruin it for you. I guess the real question is why didn't we have it standing up? Well, clearly the guy was lazy. Duh.
Notable about this fuckfest:
1. Our friends had no clue we were in the bathroom doing this. They thought we'd gone to get more booze. Which we did. Eventually.
2. He was from Jersey. Which is where I'm from. Actually the town right next to mine. Which is also the town I go drinking in when I go home.
3. Homeboy had a girlfriend. Which I found out about immediately after ("my girlfriend is gonna kill me if she finds out")
4. I haven't a clue what his name is nor have I ever.
Have a lost some friends and readers with this disclosure? I was just 21 in my defense and kind of an idiot. Now, I would do it standing up...against the sink... maybe in a bed? I try not to judge myself.
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