Well that was over quick...

So you're probably all wondering the results of my date with The Commercial Banker...well, let;s just say it was over quick and I was left high and dry (literally and figuratively). The case for fucking on the first date has been made (because at least then I'd have gotten some).

Remember how I asked you guys your thoughts on talking about sex on the first date (and how none of you responded)? Well, it wasn't THAT bad. There was the sex bet joke but other than that no talk of it. In fact, homeboy doesn't have the balls to say this to my face but don't worry I got these texts on a Saturday afternoon:

Can you handle my cock in your mouth after UA wins the national championship?
If Alabama wins the national championship I get to cum on your face.

My response:
Wow Commercial Banker you're fucking classy

His:
I'm drunk.

Later on, his house floods. He texts me and tells me. I kind of feel bad and being the nice person I am I ask if there is anything I can do. He says the following:
No, thank you though. Karma for me wanting to cum on your face. haha.

So, yeah, that's not going to work. A friend of mine and I were out to dinner and I told her about it and she was as offended as I. In fact her first response was "What if it got in your eye? OUCHHHH."

The more I think about it, the more I realize that commentary like that is one thing when you're with your guys and your showing off and being dicks. But when you are trying to spend time with a girl, all that those texts show me is you have zero respect for me (and possibly other women). There is nothing nice about having a guy shoot his load into your face in any stretch of the imagination. And especially if you're bringing it up before we've even kissed or gone on more than one date. I don't care how drunk you are, you just don't say shit like that.

Surprisingly enough, we have not spoken since then (aside from my response to the last text calling him an ass). Unfortunately, I will have to see him at the birthday party of my best friend's child this weekend. The juxtaposition of a one year old smashing his cake and a 28 year-old behaving worse than said one year old should be entertaining. And incredibly awkward but I just plan on ignoring him the entire time. If anyone says anything...well, I don't know what I'll say.