I just stumbled across a book from Maxim (weird, who knew their subscribers could actually read) in my Dad’s bathroom and I just had to steal it to share with you. Side note: calling it a book is being generous. It’s like 20 pages stapled together with a laminated cover. And it’s from 2000 so you know it’s gonna be good.
Maxim’s Put-downs, Pranks & Pick-Up Lines is actually a bit of a letdown but since I know we’ve all been wondering where the boys out there get their lame-o pickup lines, I thought I should share the answer. The male version of Cosmopolitan magazine (in fact, published by the same publishing company and they share deets back and forth at an alarming rate) is just as misinformed as its female counterpart. Before I share these horrendous pick-up lines, please note the Senior Writer for this gem is a woman.
1. “Can I be your slave on your next day off?”
2. “Aren’t there any child labor laws in this business? What are you, 14?”
3. “You look like the Statue of Liberty holding that tray way up high. Can I call you Liberty? Hell, can I call you?”
4. “Your boyfriend is the luckiest man in the world. But are you happy? Call me.”
5. “I’m Steve. Have you ever dated a Steve?”
6. “If you were a booger I’d pick you first.”
7. Him: “Where you talking to me?” Her: “No.” Him: “Oh. Would you please start?”
8. “This tastes almost as good as you look.”
9. “Hey, we have something in common. I’m rich and you’re beautiful.” (Recommended for guys named Rich).
10. “Does your boyfriend tell you how beautiful you are every day? ‘Cause if he doesn’t, I will!”
Ummm, it should also be noted they asked three bartenders to track pick-up lines used on them in the course of 3 weeks. Clearly some of these are situational. I give Maxim props for recognizing they are so bad but not for tacking on they’re good as an afterthought.
What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever gotten?
3 comments:
"I know that you're drunk and trying to get your drink on but uh, I bet you think that you're really pretty. You here to see the Hawks?"
Okay so maybe it wasn't the best, but it was sure as hell the funniest.
I'm not sure what happened there. I bet he was that kid who hit the little girl in elementary school to let her know that he had a crush. It was the first quarter of a Hawks game and we were walking to our seats. I'm not sure what else we could have been doing inside the arena during a sporting event. I def let that guy keep talking because I had no clue what else he was gonna say.
"Haaaaaave you met Ted?"
"I was just curious: Have you been married the requisite amount of time that you're ready to cheat on your wife?" This during a break in a seminar in Michigan at which I was the presenter. Nice.
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