Another For Your Entertainment Gold's Gym Email Chain

First, good bye follower I lost. I shall miss you (ummm, you aren't reading this because you ditched my blog but maybe one day you'll come across it...) Anyway, as most of you know, I go to Gold's Gym but now that I moved it is a 40 minute drive. Add on to the fact that I lost my contract gig, and I really don't have the money to be throwing at a gym membership. So, I thought I would consult the gym about how we could remedy this. After 5 (that's FIVE for those of you who like it spelled out) phone calls went unreturned I again went back to emailing my dear friend, General Manager Sean.

Date: September 16, 2010
Sean,
I am a member at Gold's Gym Lawrenceville; however, after losing my job I have had to relocate into a new place. I tried to continue to come there to work out but it is a 35-40 minute drive for me and a waste of gas money. What do I need to do to cancel my membership?
Thanks,
Berryfine

See how that worked- I told him I lost my job in hopes of a lower cancellation fee. Well, he didn't even bother to email me back. Surprise, surprise after 5 unreturned phone calls in which he was "with other members". 4 (that's FOUR) days go by. No answer.

Date: September 20, 2010
Sean,
I just spoke with Paramount Acceptance in regards to cancelling my account. They mentioned I may need to come into the gym to do this in person. I emailed you last week in reference to this and really need an answer. If this is something I need to do in person, I need to adjust my schedule to accomdate that. Please call or email ASAP so I can get everything in order.
Thanks,
Berryfine

Date: September 21, 2010
Berryfine,
Your membership doesn’t actually expire until January of 2012. If you choose to just cancel your membership, you will need to either schedule a time to come into the facility and do cancellation with a Manager or you can send the cancellation via certified mail from the Post Office. With you currently being in the middle of your contract, you will be required to submit a cancellation fee of $150. If there are any further questions, please feel free to call.

Sean

Whoooaaaaa- my membership ends in January? It's September? I'd say that makes me more than halfway through my contract. IN FACT, LET'S DO THE MATH. 4 months left on the contract x a monthly fee of $25= $100 (I'm no math whiz but I do know 4 quarter equals a dollar). Why the fuck would I pay MORE than I have to in order to cancel a membership? Is he fucking kidding me? It took me two days to calm down and figure out how to approach him to get this taken care of.

Date: September 23, 2010
Sean,
That's more than paying the $25 bucks a month so that makes no sense to do. I know the same owners also own the gym at Peachtree Corners. Who would I need to speak to about moving over to that gym- which is at least closer to my office than Lawrenceville. I see you are the General Manager so if you can't do anything to help me considering I just explained in the first email that I lost my job and live 40 minutes away from the Lawrenceville location, then I'll need to speak with the owner who will be able to make more decisions in regards to that.
Thanks,
Berryfine

Date: September 23, 2010
Berryfine,
We can absolutely transfer you to that gym. There is only a $25 fee to transfer between our gyms. As far as cancelling the membership, as long as you provide proof of the new address we can cancel you membership with only an $89 cancellation fee and a 30-day notice. If the Peachtree gym is more convenient for you, please let me know and I’ll contact that manager and let them know you’re coming by to transfer.

Sean

Okay, so still I have to pay more to use the gym. Plus that location isn't THAT much closer that I would go that often. Also, can we discuss that suddenly the cancellation fee has gone DOWN? Really, Sean? That must work on some dipshits but I wasn't born yesterday. I really wanted to free up that cash so that I can join a gym near my apt but I guess that won't be happening until January!