Random Thoughts on a Thursday

• I'm eating cucumbers for a snack becase I'm fat and want to lose weight. I've never considered the seeds in cucumbers. Wouldn't it be weird if I grew a cucumber in my belly? Would I be hungry or would my stomach just eat it's gardn? Thank god for digestion so don't have to figure this out.
  


• This compute dosno lik gmail or bloggr so it mysteriouly taks letters ot of sentnces wich maks tpig this api. but kid of fn t read. for me. not yo since yo can't tell hatit says. or can yo? getto it sherloc holmes


• The only people I see home in the middle of the day at my apt coomplex are hispanic people. What is up with that?


• I just tried to make a sandwich ala Pita Pit and failed miserably. I have got to find out where they get their pitas. I think the difference is the pita. Mine crumbled as I tried to wrap. Thus I ate the messiest sandwich on earth.


• I love pickles. Why don't I eat more of those?


• I love when I work from home and can wear my snuggie all damn day


• Marriage. I just don't get it.


• I'm reading a book about alcholism. Every body is an alcholic. Unless you never drink. Ever.


• Seriously, everyone I know has a drinking problem. If I went into rehab we could never be friends again. I'd have to start from scratch.


• I swear to god, tonight I am going to sit at Panera and work on my book. Yes, I'm writing a book. About what? I have no idea. I'll wing it. Just like the rest of my life.


• Working from home is nice but not nearly as entertaining as working from an office. I have nothing to say about funny shit that has happened at work. I can't poke fun at people either. This sucks.


• I think I lost a friend. Which makes me think of how much I like the Fray. They were INSANE in concert the two times I saw them. I think I might listen to them now actually.


• Anyway, back to the lost friend- no return emails, calls or texts. And the ass has STILL not opened his Christmas present. Which I had delivered to his residency since I would be out of town. WTF? I even emailed him a banking question. No answer. I kind of want to pull a flip out move at his place of employment but as it is what it is I'd probably be arrested on a felony count of some such shit I don't know about.


• Did the above make any sense?


• I didn't watch American Idol. But apparently, last night in Atlanta was insane. This pants on the ground or whatever the fuck it was is a trending topic on twitter. I shall connect you to said video which is funny but no so funny I feel the need to watch it again or tweet about it. To each their own. Pants On the Ground.


• 770.993.7145...try it. Then try explaining to me why this number just called me. Or how.


• Go to this website at least once a week : This site.


• I want chips. Right now.


• What does anyone know about Raleigh, NC? I might be interested in making a move.


• I think I shop online because I like getting packages. I don't get enough packages. Hint, hint to the two readers of my blog.


• Also, gripe, WHERE THE FUCK WERE MY BIRTHDAY CARDS? My family failed miserably in the department. And there is no nice way to ask them.


• Where did you think you would be at 26? Is it where you are now? Cause I sure am shit am not where I planned to be. Just a thought.


• Pet Peeve #999: Seriously, what the fuck is up with people parking facing the wrong direction when parked in front of a store or my apt complex? Come to think about it, what makes you think you are so ridiculously special that you can park anywhere you damn well please? And while we are on the subject what is with people parking in the middle of the road? The road is not your driveway! Unless you are in Ireland. Then the parkway is your driveway and the driveway is your parkway. I know, confusing.


• Speaking of Ireland, who's up for a Pub Crawl (there's that alcoholism again).


• I'm watching Standoff on Hulu. I want to be a hostage negotiator.


• What is this p90x? You people are like a damn cult.


• I'm still obsessed with Jon Lajoie. I just cannot think of what to tweet to him without sounding like a crazy. Which, let's be honest, I am.


• I am hungry. I need a snack. I have no snack food. Damn.
• Dating sites are creepy. I'm on one for an assignment I have (oh, fuck it, the assignment started it and I'm 26 and single and thought why the hell not?). I think the fact that it is the internet makes people a little too comfortable.
• I hate when you get really excited about someone's gift and they are less than thrilled. Can't you just pretend? It's obvious I am excited.
• Another thing, I never know how much or what someone else is going to get me so I'm always nervous that my gift will not measure up. Why am I so worried about that?
• Jersey Shore: Worst. Show. Ever. I hate them. I hated them before they were on TV and were invading my hometown. Assholes.