Monday Musings

• I added a new blogger to the site. I don't know why since I only have two public readers and she is one of them. But one day when this site takes off, she'll be so grateful for the opportunity I provided her. Or not. But whatever.
• I'm reading Google Blogger for Dummies. Hopefully, this improves the quality of the site. But probably not.
• My friend Kyle got me a Table Topics gift for my birthday. Why am I bringing this up now? Well, he just gave it to me last night. Hellooooo, belated. But then, I have been pretty MIA with that group of friends lately. Anyway, it would be great for when I have people over but I’m thinking of drawing one card a week or whenever I feel like it and blogging the responses. Then you will REALLLLLYYYYY get to know how boring I am. Thoughts?
• Tim Tebow commercial. Thoughts? When it came on last night, everyone rushed to the table to grab more food because we thought it would be some commercial no one gave a shit about. Imagine our surprise when Saint Timmy tackled his mom. Had I not been wedged between the wall and the couch with no ability to move, I would have missed it. As it was, I had tuned out whatever his mom said. So her pro-life commercial turned into a pro-abortion commercial with that dive bomb. I mean why raise a kid if he’s just going to tackle you on television?
• I am feeling particularly blank today. Empty almost.
• Where the hell was Miller Lite last night? Am I the only one who noticed they had ZERO commercials? Or maybe I just missed them… Bud Light and Doritos single handedly funded the Super Bowl broadcast with their commercials. And they were the best.
• While we are on the subject of super bowl ads… there is a new e*trade baby in town and I do not like him. At all. ANNND godaddy.com needs to hire a new marketing/ad firm stat. Does anyone ever actually go to the site to see the girls? As my friend Alex put it last night, “Unless I’m seeing some nipple, it’s not worth my time.”
• When someone emails me that they just got back from church or are reading proverbs I want to immediately say something that will send me straight to hell. It’s like I’m trying to balance out their goodness with my evilness.
• This. I want to do this. Except to the industrial scanner in my office that thinks it’s funny to claim I have misfed the paper randomly and intermittently while I’m trying to send people their work. 500 pages of work should not take an hour to scan to email.
• Dear body, when I overindulge on the weekends you will be properly punished on Monday. As in, you can complain about how hungry you are all you want but I’m not putting anything in you. Except water. A banana. And oatmeal. And I will workout for 3 hours. You should really have a conversation with the alcoholic side of me and find out how to remedy this.
• I wish someone would buy me everything on the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia website. And the UGA Playbook which should be coming out this summer. I’d like to outfit my home.
• I lied. I just drank decaf coffee. Strangely, my hunger pangs are gone. New diet?
  With insurance companies, a doctor’s office may bill $21,000 worth of services. $12,000 of it ends up written off and the insurance company pays out $9,000. I don’t understand the math of that. Apparently, insurance companies only ALLOW you to bill so much per service and then has the right to say of that service how much they will pay. I work with insurance and I still don’t get it. No wonder obama wants to change it.
• I don't know why I think you would care about the above bullet. But I'm too lazy to delete it.
• Getting your shit together is an overwhelming task. I don’t even know where to start taking baby steps.
• Why does my blackberry think that curse words are just misspelled? They aren’t. I fucking like them and wish you would stop making me ignore the dashed lines below them. I know what the hell I’m writing and I’m okay with it. Damnit.
• I want chocolate.....in my mouth....NOW.