- Downstairs Neighbor: This douchebag thinks he's hot shit. Got news for you buddy, you aren't. One time my Mom and I were heading up the stairs and he stopped us for a chat in which he told us how chaotic raising kids was. To which my mom responded by politely asking him how many kids he has. He has one. One fucking kid. Dude, not impressed with your inability to handle that. In fact, he had locked his screaming kid in the apartment where he was running crazy through a one bedroom apartment. While he stood outside and just listened. The kicker, judging by the way the kid runs around his apartment, he's got to be about two. The man has a big ass crib right by the window for him. WTF is that? And for some reason he and his son are so fucking loud that they sound like they live above me rather than below. It makes absolutely no sense that I can hear every damn thing they do- they shut the cabinets, I hear it. When he does laundry, my apartment shakes. He slams doors. And every damn day at approximately 4 pm, he jams out to techno music. I don't know anything about techno, but either it all sounds the same coming through my floor or he listens to the same damn songs every day on a loop. How did someone else live below me for a year and I didn't hear a thing she did and now this asshole makes his presence known the minute he wakes up? On top of that, he has called the cops on me ON MY BIRTHDAY not 10 minutes after we got home. I hadn't even turned on the tv or anything. He "heard us coming up the stairs and knew we were having a party." There were six of us. To combat him, I have left a sticky note explaining why he should turn his fucking music down and occasionally put boots on and jump up and down in the kitchen until the noise stops. Pretty fucking immature of me but whatever. Gets the aggression out.
- Across the Hall Neighbor version 1: I never met this dude and I was pumped to do so when upon arriving to my new pad I spied a UGA mat in front of his door. I deduced he was mail based on the trash he left outside his place for days on end. I actually pulled out the pink sticky notes and purple pen to nicely request he deposit it in the dumpster. He complied. Aside from the trash thing, I can't complain about anything he did. Except maybe that he got evicted and led to a parade of neighbors I want to murder. One day, I looked out the window and spotted him carrying furniture out to a moving truck with his buddies and was so bummed out. Unfortunately, he just couldn't afford the rent.
- Across the Hall Neighbor version 2: This was a couple. In fact, at first I thought they seemed pretty cool if not a little too punk. They never blasted music, they were rarely home and they had a cute dog who only barked every once in a while. Unfortunately, this may be due to the fact that he was drugged out of his mind. When I first met the couple, we were standing outside at 4 am for a fire alarm. It was fucking freezing. They had some friends over and at first we were chatting up. I never got to bed that night because come to find out, one of their friends not only pulled the fire alarm but then proceeded to piss all over the stairs and railing. It froze while we were waiting 45 minutes for the fire department to show up. The couple and the guy had a two hour screaming match and from that day forward things went downhill. I'm assuming the couple broke up but remained friendly as he moved out but could be spotted smoking outside the building. She had a parade of men coming in and out of her place at all hours of the day. Their ages ranged from high school to grandpa. There were four guys living with her in a one bedroom by the end of her lease. They would smoke outside my apartment and put their butts and ash all over the place (ruining my newly acquired UGA doormat). She had parties at random times during the week so that I had to go complain a couple of times- like I good neighbor I would just stop by and let her know rather than calling the cops. I am convinced she was a whore or running a meth lab or both. Imagine my relief when she moved out...
- Across the Hall Neighbor version 3: ...only to be replaced by a family of I don't know how many a scant two weeks later. I've seen this family- it's a couple of little skinny kids and their average sized parents. I swear to God the minute their feet touch one damn step you can hear them like a herd of goddamn elephants. They have actually succeeded in waking me up with their stomping up the stairs. In fact, one time I crept silently down the back stairs and then stomped up the front stairs as loud as I could when I knew they were home. I was really hoping they would come out and complain and in doing so see that I was in my pajamas stomping up the stairs to make a point. No such luck. I firmly believe they have no clue anyone else even lives in the apartment because they scream at each other and into phones on their treks between car and apartment. Also, only one of them has a key despite the apartment giving two keys to both the apartment and the mailbox to everyone who moves in. I know this because the bitch of the family will stand outside and bang on the door for HOURS in an attempt to get in while homeboy is napping. They've only lived here two weeks and already I'm dying. Sometimes, I even stay in the office all day even though I can work from home. I'm avoiding them. I cringe when they start up the stairs.
Am I the only one with inconsiderate neighbors? Would you be frustrated by these people or am I just a tad ridiculous in my annoyance?
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