Another Twitter Tuesday- I easily became addicted to Twitter and I cannot imagine not being able to check out what other people are thinking, doing or pissed about at all hours of the day in 140 characters or less. Especially this guy right here:
Rob Delaney (@robdelaney) is a comedian who claims to be 6'3" and 214 lbs. That's his about me and coupled with this picture how could you not want to follow him? Read more about him here but before you do that check out a couple of his tweets and see how funny he is for yourself!
- When I hear the word "vegan", my penis softens & retreats.
- Fucked a bunch of horses this weekend, NOT because I enjoy it (I do) but because I want Centaurs to roam the earth once more.
- Why must you call me "Horse Fucker"? Why not "Sire of the Centaurs"? I have feelings!
- Other dudes LOL so hard when I pull my pants/underwear all the way down to my ankles like a little boy to pee at a public urinal.
- When I'm executed, my last meal request will be pancakes parmesan. They can figure out how to make it, because fuck them, I'm innocent.
- If I could only take one book to the moon, I'd make sure that book had a vagina.
- I guess you could say I'm handicapped, in the sense that I enjoy palatial toilet stalls and VIP parking.
- One thing I'll never understand is how anyone could ever hurt a child, or unfollow me on Twitter.
- Well at least I gave it the old college try-to-maintain-an-erection-¬-throw-up-on-her.
- If you own a Toyota this is a great opportunity to run over your spouse.
- All these new sex robots! I just "program" real women to fuck me by walking my puppy in my tight wranglers.
No comments:
Post a Comment