Twitter Tuesday

And I'm unveiling another day! This one is the most fun for me because it requires little more from me than trolling Twitter for fun people to follow. I love picking favorites. Sometimes, I reply to them. Sometimes I don't. Either way, these people are witty and entertaining and make me wish I had the same abilities they have with 140 characters. It really takes a lot to be able to concisely state whatever you are doing, thinking or feeling and these people nail it. Of course, I am extremely jealous!





@jane_bot


This sassy femme fatale (or so I believe) is my current fave. Her thoughts echo mine but she apparently has bigger balls (or breasts) than I do since she actually tosses them out there without a care in the world. So if you aren't currently following her, do it. NOW. Below are a few of my favorite comments from her.

• Anger looks good on me. The consequences of my anger look good on your face.


• It's raining, it's pouring, you're old lady is whoring... with reduced prices on the corner. Soggy discount.


• Friends & family know there's an 85% chance I might be peeing while on the phone w/them. It jumps to 100% if I am hydrated with alcohol.


• I've brown-bagged my liquid lunch today.


• My body parts are not shy.


• You can touch. You can play. with my keyboard. and maybe my mouse... if you're lucky.


• "The hot sauce packets are laced w/crack. I'll take a bagful," got me "Sorry Ma'am, you have to order food to use the drive-thru at Taco Bell."


• and yes, I did Google myself to see when I had my last menstrual cycle. I'm a bad female.


• Everything is just fucktastic.


• The phrase "Enjoy the little things in life" must have been written by a man with a "little" penis.