So I guess since I was semi-introduced in Erin's weekly "Monday Musings" post I shall take the time to say hello. Hello! I feel like I am at a loss of words and if you know me, that is very unlike me. But I feel like I need to be really eloquent and witty since I am guest blogging on Erin's blog. No pressure. No pressure. No pressure. But this evening I have something REALLY important to talk about.
I want to start it off with a little disclaimer. I do not hate love. I am not a scorned single female either. I do not hate weddings. I am not the typical girl in the south who is itching for a diamond on a certain left hand finger. I would like a diamond - I actually want a $16,000 ring - but I don't need to be engaged to be happy.
....so where to start. I guess I will start by saying that I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding this year. Yay weddings! I like weddings. I like the open bars the dancing, the mixin, the minglin... 8 times out of 10, weddings are fun. I have been a bridesmaid 3 times before being asked to be in this wedding. Some may call me a pro, not 27 Dresses pro, but a pro. However, I have never ever ever been to a bridal shower until this past Sunday. Shocker, I know. Been in 3 weddings attended 0 showers. No, I am not a horrible bridesmaid, I was always 600+ miles away from the event. I sent my "I wish I was theres" and a gift, but I did not grace people with my presence. Even though I have never been to a shower, I know there are somethings that just do not happen when i comes to showers. ....And this is where the story REALLY begins to unfold. Get comfy.
I got an invite about a month ago. Invite, cool, normal. No. This was a "Evite" thanks to Evite.com. Aren't invites supposed to be printed up nicely? Whatever, we're in a recession. I forgive you. I being to read the invite. The first thing I notice is that the event is from 11:00 AM - 7:00 PM. WTF?! That is like 8 hours of bridal showering. What in the hell do you do for 8 hours?! Are there even that many shower games? Next I see that it is BYOF (bring your own food). No, you do not have to read that again. You read it right. BRING.YOUR.OWN.FOOD. Evidently we were supposed to make a family breakfast item, bring it and the recipe for the bride's cookbook. My family doesn't do breakfast. We throw something together and run out the door. Can I bring Fruit Loops?! ....But that isn't even the point. I may be a bridal shower virgin, but I know that those who throw the shower cater the food. Guests show up, bring gifts, mingle with friends, meet new people, celebrate the bride.... they don't slave over the stove the night before. So what did I end up bringing? Cinnamon bread from a box. The back said I needed 2/3 cups water, 1 egg, preheat the oven to 400, put it in a pan, and to wait 45 minutes. Sold to the lady who hates to cook. You know, I would have said "ok cool" if they had come to me and said "hey, you're a bridesmaid. the economy is tight. we want to cater. can we split it." I would have said "sure, no problem. I will bring a check to the event." But no. We all had to cook - the bride's mother brought food. Lastly, the event had to be the weekend before Valentine's Day because one of the hostesses is obsessed with love. Nothing against love, but no lie... Cupid puked all over this house for the event.
I get to the shower. Yay. Awkward. Normally I am not one to turn down booze, but at 11:00 AM on a Sunday when I have shit to do. Where are the other beverages? Oh there are none. Great planning, I guess I missed on the invite when it said bring your own beverage too. There was more food than we needed. Everyone went home with more than half of a platter. Needless to say my boyfriend was pleased with the fact that GIRLS EAT LIKE BIRDS AND THERE WAS NO POINT FOR 20+ BREAKFAST ITEMS IN ONE HOUSE! ...Next I want to just comment on how one of the girls throwing the shower who is borderline 30 was wearing a pink frilly dress that was clearly bought out of a juniors section. Not trashing the JR section, I can be found there every now and then... but you won't see me proudly strutting around in a dress that a 13 year old wore to their Middle School Valentine's Day dance. The Maid of Honor, Lord how I love her. She is out of control. Well, she has never been a maid of honor. She didn't know that she had to hold onto all the bows and make a bow bouquet for the rehearsal. You would have thought they were going to skin her alive because everyone around her was like "what?! you don't know how to do this?" gasp.sigh.gasp some more. Me in my corner itching for some fresh air felt horrible for her. Not horrible enough to speak up though. We played two games. I kept wanting to pull my blackberry out of my purse but I couldn't be rude, after all, I am a bridesmaid. Gotta be smiley happy lovey 24-7.
Oh that 8 hour invite. Evidently the girl who made the Evite couldn't figure the program out. So she just made it an all day affair. Are you dense?! Oh. And how can I forget that she sent out like 4 other Evites saying "what food are you bringing?!" or "if you aren't going to bring anything please let me know". It was an Evite overload. One was manageable. 5 was too many.
Lesson to everyone throwing a shower: don't make your guests bring food. It is tacky. I do not know how many phone calls I got asking if they read the invite right. If you cannot afford to cater and host, go in with multiple people, ask the bridesmaids to chip in, or just do not host a shower. You don't want to be the cheap-o hosting a shower.
....this is going to be a long few months until the festive affair. Maybe I can do bridal shower #2 soon. That is if Erin asks me back.
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